you've obviously been away - beach has been banned from posting. You can still IM him, but he can't post I missed what happened but he's not here anymore
Hi, I am surprised that beach has not responded yet. Honey, we have hearts of gold and an anomaly somtimes called addiction and dependence. The people we have in our hearts are somtimes as addicted to the calamities as we are. Hey, what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger right? You are in for a life of truama. And it's is Spiritual sometimes. We feel more when more is at stake??? for the most part.... sometimes I feel that I am addicted to truama. Brace yourself and enjoy the ride. We mean well but there is fun heart ache ahead.
Hi
You must go through the program with him, you need to understand the disease. Please go to Alanon, or naranon - anyone to help you understand.
My brother just died a month ago from alcohol. He was out of rehab two months and died. His wife left him and we told him to get help or we could not help him...it was very sad.
If your fiance is in rehab it is one step...many more to follow. the best thing you can do is educate yourself. Most rehabs have a friends and family component to work the program into your lives. See if you can contact them and get help for yourself.
Good Luck!!!
i've only been on this site for 10 days - - but sporatically i do see posts like "i think my friend has a problem" or other such things that the people in the users life are also reaching out - i hope one of them replies to you for some more "in your shoes talk".
and as IB says it sounds like he is doing all the right things & the aftercare & the meetings.
years ago in therapy my psycologist suggested i go to the alanon meetings (IB is saying Naranon which sounds more right) - - but you'll find people like you at alanon also. i don't think i was really present at those meetings (me using at the time, duh) but i do rememeber just a lot of heartbreaking stories but so so much love and sympathy and sharing and community.
Hello and Welcome!
I don't know what more I can add. You are doing all the right things by supporting him and going to meetings. You can also find a Nar Anon meeting/s in your area and attend them by yourself. they could prove helpful.
When he gets home, hopefully the rehab will have set him up with an aftercare plan. He is going to need to adhere to it strictly. This is something he needs to do, with your support---but it is HIS program. There will be time for the two of you to perhaps attend meetings at a later date, but in the beginning he needs his space in the early stages of recovery.
It is great that you want to believe in him---do that, just do it with your eyes open. He will be an addict for the rest of his life--it will always be there. How he handles it will determine his recovery.
It is a holiday weekend and quite slow here today. Please be patient. Others will be on.
Good Luck. I will pray for you.