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MedHelp Member's Question

Vicodin and how I feel now being rapidly detoxed

by Rebekkah, Aug 05, 2000 12:00AM
I am desperate, please reply if you have any ideas.  I have been on Vicodin for about fifteen months and nine days ago was rapidly detoxed. I had a long history of depression etc for many years.  I was prescribed Vicodin ES for migraines and chronic hip pain for these last 15 months. Before the vicodin, I was tried on every combination known to man and psychopharmacology never proved to be beneficial. About fifteen months ago, I was hospitalized at Cedars sinai Psych unit for depression, cutting and suicidal ideations.  I was perscribed 100mg od demerol for about 33 days which would addict anyone to narcotics.  They switched me to Vicodin and supprisingly enough during the time I was on the Vicodin all of those intolerable feelings of wanting to end my life went away. I was fully functional, I also happen to be a medical professional which makes the whole situation worse.  I am not at all in trouble at work for this Vicodin issue.  They don't even know about it.  My issue now is that the feelings of cutting myself and wanting to take my life are back and very strong. I have a PHD and an aneshesiologist which believe the treatment is psychotherapy and more psych meds. I am tired of that. I just want to end it. I'm nervous about going back on Vicodin because that type of drug is not acceptable to society but the drugs that they want me one prozac etc are useless to me. My delemma Vicodin vs suicide.   Thank you for listening.
Member Comments (31)

by Ronnieg to Rebekkah, Aug 05, 2000 12:00AM
Rebekkah,



If you are in the medical field, you should know more than any of us as far as what would be suitable to treat your depression.

Have you spoke with a psychiatrist about how you feel concerning taking vicodin for your depression?

How many did you take a day?

Please seek some help as suicide is not the answer.

I myself am prescribed opiates for chronic pain and at times they bring me out of a slight depression, but they also make me jumpy and skitterish at other times. They help my chronic pain immensly but I do not like the feeling of being dependant on them.

Seek further help and I will pray for your recovery.

by Brighty, Aug 06, 2000 12:00AM
I have never seen a question like yours and I do hope you will continue to report back with the information you find. One of the things that narcotic users continually report is that the drug makes them feel better initially... senses of euphoria, pain relief, stabilized emotions, lifting of depression. Generally, narcotics seem like the cure-all for nearly every problem a person has even if they were prescribed for pain only. This to me seems like the seduction of the drug.... that they mask every emotion including joy, as well as pain... the users become numb and live in a distorted reality while the people around them see the truth of the addiction. Somewhere along the way the cure-all turns into the problem. Eventually the addict tries to come off the narcotic and the pain returns along with long term predictable depression. Time and recovery programs, and other medications eventually reverse this situation. But there is usually one lingering problem that many people never address... the true underlying reason they started with. In my daughter's case she revealed after 16 years that she was raped at the age of 5 by an acquaintance of our family. She is finally getting treatment from a female crisis counselor. I do not wish to presume or undermine your problem, nor am I a medical or mental health professional so please forgive me for inappropriate comments... only YOU know what you have been suffering. I guess I wanted to tell you that you have a human body and I suspect that you will become addicted to the vicoden if you already are not.... for some people the addiction is secondary to their true need for this medication and nobody should be telling them they have to come off it. I just wanted to suggest that maybe the reason no pharmacological combination has ever worked for your depression is because there is a deep underlying reason for it. Maybe deep therapy and psychological analysis will reveal it. I realize I should not be so presumptious. We share alot on this board and it is simply my thought. Vicoden is a horrible addiction to add to an already full plate. There is also much more information for "cutting" and newer and better treatments. God bless you and may you find light. Brighty

by Tim, Aug 06, 2000 12:00AM
Rebekkah:



DON'T DO IT.  I know exactly how you felt, have gone through the same once I stopped COLD TURKEY.  I actually quit a job that I needed desperately because of the withdrawel affects.  THIS WILL PASS, it's only temporary.  I'm still struggling, but I refuse to give in to something that will be gone within a month.  Please if your really feeling that bad, check yourself into a hospital.  At least they can watch you around the clock and it will be harder for you to do what you want to do.  Good Luck and I God bless.





by tom to Rebekkah, Aug 07, 2000 12:00AM
I'm no doctor, Rebekkah, but I'd say that the question of whether or not to take Vicodin, along with everything else you've said, is all part of a profound psychological disorder that must be addressed immediately by you and an appropriate physician. From where I sit, I believe that physician should be a psychiatrist -- someone able to deal with your whole being, including the part that is in physical pain and needs relief. I must confess that I am in a way shocked that you can mention taking Vicodin in the same breath as wanting to cut yourself! The Vicodin issue, to say the least, is trivial next to your urge to hurt yourself. Please ask for help right now, this minute, from someone or place that can secure phsyciatric help for you. The euphoric effect of Vicodin is only distracting you or at most masking your self-destructive impulses. My god, I'm 46 now and have recently watched one member of my family die and another fight like hell for his life. As long as you're alive, there is the possibility of you recovering and enjoying life as you deserve to. You must be in great pain inside to feel as you do. Ask for help now. Doctors really do become doctors because they care about people. There is a physician waiting right now on the other end of your telephone who can and will help you. Please make that call before you harm yourself further. That is all I know to say. Don't give up and keep in touch with us here if you can. You are never alone. I will look for your messages and help in any way I can.

by Christine, Aug 07, 2000 12:00AM
I also suffer from depression, but i think your own posting answers your question.  On the Vicodin you say that your suicidal ideations actually became worse!  It is not the answer for you.  It is not Vicodin vs. Suicide, but Vicodin encouraging such an act.  Vicodin sets you up, makes you feel good for awhile, and then makes things much worse.



My sister commited suicide, my mother suffers from manic depression, and i suffer from depression. So...from much experience my biggest bit of advise would be a psychotherapist, especially if antidepressants don't seem to work for you.  Though usually with a good psychiatrist, they CAN find an antidepressant that does work for you.  Make sure you see a GOOD psychiatrist, not always easy to find.



Good luck to you!

by Joan C, Aug 07, 2000 12:00AM
I go to my doctor tommow.  Ive been going to him for the last year for polymyalgia rheumatica (RMA).  Uually this dieise takes any where from 1 to 5 year. Last time I saw him it seemed he was  going to cut all my med offs.  I take presidone 4m maintaine,   Lortab 10m 100 ount and 1 oxycontin 20m nightly.  Anyway my problems has been I'm always intimanated by my doctors so every time I go in there I tell him everything if honky dore.  When in reality the stiffness and soreness is almost more than I can stand.  Alo I did tend to yo-yo on my predisone because I hate the stuff.  husband says I shold tell him everythng.  Last time I try to stop the predisone my chest my chest starting hurting and I had problems breathing. The pain meds are a god-send an I can't take NSAIDS'S or the newer ones that are on the market.My question is how do I handel this doctor when it the past I haven

be very trughfull.

by Lynn B, Aug 07, 2000 12:00AM
Dear Rebekkah -- sure hope you're feeling better.  I deal with chronic pain, too.  I'm also a recovering addict.  I work with a pain management specialist and a pain managementn/recovery psychologist.  With the help of a good solid program of recovery and professional assistance, I can manage my pain and stay clean and sober.



When you're talking about cutting, it seems that a good psychiatrist who knows addiction AND pain management might be of benefit.  As you well know, cutting is just a short vacation from the real stuff, so why even bother??  Tell your doc what's going on, and get the help you know you need.  You don't ever have to do it alone...  best -- Lynn

by Brighty, Aug 07, 2000 12:00AM
Your husband is right. A doctor can't treat a person properly if they don't know the truth. Prednisone is no joke and you're not the only person who has side effects.. so please speak up,honey, so you can get some relief. Having trouble breathing is serious business. What if your child told you he had a stomach ache and he really had a problem seeing things.... you'd be giving him Pepto Bismol when he likely needed glasses. Lot's of good that would do him. It may not be acceptable to tell the world how lousy we feel. But it's something you MUST tell your doctor !! Doctor's can't know ahead of time when they prescibe something if it's going to be the wrong med for the person. Everyone is different. Just tell him the truth. Please make an appointment today !! Love, Brighty

by tom to Joan C, Aug 07, 2000 12:00AM
Joan, when you go in to see your doctor, say to yourself, "The doctor works for ME. I don't work for him. I do not need his approval. I am the customer and I want my money's worth!" Doctors are highly educated but they have no more moral authority than you or me. I know exactly what you're talking about when you say you're intimidated to the point of telling them what you think they want to hear. They represent power, in that they control the source of your relief. But realize this: By telling them you're fine when your not, you're betraying yourself and them. They really do want to know exactly how you feel. The clinic, the whole hospital or wherever you go exists for your benefit, not theirs. Maybe you should begin by telling your doctor that he intimidates you and you're having trouble telling him how you really feel. Doctors are very aware of the effect they have on patients. From the meds you're taking, I imagine you're really suffering. Tell him that! He's a human being. He got into medicine to help people like you. Tell him what he really wants to hear -- the truth. If you find that he works so fast you don't have time to think of everything you want to say, WRITE IT DOWN. (Doctors can read -- that's how they got into med school.) That's what I do. It works like a charm. My doctor appreciates it when I prepare for the examination in advance. If he cares about you, he'll be glad to read your notes. Try it. What've you got to lose (besides everything)?

by joedice, Aug 08, 2000 12:00AM
right those kind of precription drugs are ot acceptable, but yet booze is i agree with you 1000%, i"m a vicodan addict of 10 years..its no picinic trying to get them...best of luck to you joe

by Joan C