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To all of you who are used to me regularly posting here, let me explain why I haven't been here lately and may not be back for a while. I relapsed, big time. I am going to be away in a treatment program for a month (leaving soon). Despite all my knowledge and prior relapses and promises to myself I would stay clean, I became complacent. I used this board as a substitute for working a program. I hope I have been of some help to you, but I must now focus on myself. Thanks for listening, and remember, this disease is tenacious and deadly. The withdrawal part is what we tend to focus on because it is painful and easier to deal with than the mental part. Please learn something from my failure, yet again, to keep the mental part a focus of recovery. No matter how much "clean time" you have, how bad you felt the last time you went through withdrawal, or how many promises you make to yourself, your loved ones and friends, you will likely relapse unless you work on the tough things that cause relapses. I regret that I forgot this lesson, and now I must pay a heavy price. I wish the best for you all, and I hope some of you will pray for me. I need it. Brian
Addiction plain and simple just wears a person down to the point of relapse. It is a disease for Christ's sake. Brian admitted that he was spending too much time here and not working a program. The program is the twelve steps of NA. If he works the program properly, he will prevail! That's a given. Nobody has been able to maintain perfect adherance to the program's policies because we are human beings with a lot of frailties. At least Brian saw what his problem was and is hopefully on the road to recovery. Thanks.
For the person that continually relapes there is but one solution:Methadone Maintenance Therapy (MMT). Try to do some research on Dr. Dole and read what he says about Methadone. I can't seem to convince anyone of the Harm Reduction and success with the disease of opiate addiction that MMT offers. If a person would read a little medical research and read what Dr.DOLE MD,Dr.Maxwell(Marc)Shindermann MD, Dr.J. Payte MD, have to say about MMT, maybe they will be convinced of methadone's life saving properities. There is so much useful information on the web in regard to MMT it is just plain ignorance or laziness on the part of the addict for not researching it. People, methadone is MUCH safer than all the tylenol and impure narcotic combinatons that people are using to satisfy thier habits,chronic pain or cravings.Methadone like morphine has a very low order of toxicity.Research has revealed to me that coedine,demerol and darvon are probably the most toxic of the short acting analgesics. The least toxic ones such as morphine,methadone,hydro &oxy morphone are very hard to get through legitimate prescriptions.(with good reason) Methadone has gotten a bad rap over the years because of many things. But the main reason is all the rhetoric people pass around that is simply NONMEDICAL hearsay by a heroin addicts or opinions formed by people who are not experts such as politicians who know nothing about the disease of opiate addiction. For the sake of your life please read what the experts, listed above have to say about methadone before it is too late. Methadone is not for everyone I must say that. Their is also LAAM which is also saved many a opiate pill addict. BUT for the person that does not have success with 12 step programs and continually and chronically fails treatment plans these methods of Harm Reduction are proven to be the most successful for the disease of opiate addiction. Methadone and Laam can be used as a tool in long (the rest of your life) term or short term maintenance; whatever works for you and your philosophy of treatment. One must develop these philosophies by doing research and do not pay attention to unreliable nonmedical sources. Everyone should concern themselves with finding the the best and least toxic of drugs to maintain there disease. When methadone is given at an "adequate dose" it can offer a patient piece of mind and relief from pain. I have to stop> As you all may see that I am very passionate in regard to the information that I am passing on to you all -- so much in fact that I have started an internship in Chem. Dep. Coun. I hope I have shed a little light on a disease that is a very serious matter. Also Euphoria and the search for it is a mental health disease in itself. Research the "THE GOOD DRUG GUIDE" or the "HEDONISTIC IMPERATIVE" I do not necessarily agree with everything written by this group of researchers but it gives all something to think about. Especially "THE RESPONSIBLE PARENT'S GUIDE TO HEALTHY MOOD-BOOSTERS FOR ALL THE FAMILY. (A must read for all addicts and addicts who R in denial) I must stop here before I blow the entire contents of my book. Ha Ha !!
Sincerely, Dan(aka Doc) c.d.c.i.
Good luck on your recovery and remember not to feel bad and like a failure. Everyone slips, but your on top of it and getting the help you need, thats all that matters!!!