To start off...  Kate- I have heard of something similar to what you describe but I don't know enough to comment on it, Sorry.  It sounds like it would really help lots of people.  



I am a 5 year plus narcoticDrug abuse user.  I have rheumatoidAnkylosing spondylitis
Juvenile rheumatoid arthritis
Osteoarthritis vs. rheumatoid arthritis
Rheumatoid arthritis
Rheumatoid factor
Rheumatoid lung disease arthritisAcute gouty arthritis
Arthritis
Arthritis - resources
Arthritis in hip
Cervical spondylosis
Gout - chronic
Juvenile rheumatoid arthritis
Osteoarthritis
Osteoarthritis vs. rheumatoid arthritis
Psoriatic arthritis
Reactive arthritis, degenerative disc disease, fibromyalgiaFibromyalgia, dual entrapped sciatic nerves ... shall I go on? (lol!).  I am being treated by a specialist.  I get 120 vicodinVicodin
Vicodin tuss a month plus 60 10mg oxycontin, 90 somaPolycystic kidney disease
Somatization disorder
Somatoform pain disorder ,30 1mg ativan and 30 ambienAmbien
Ambien cr(to sleepCentral sleep apnea
Drowsiness
Insomnia concerns
Irregular sleep
Irregular sleep-wake syndrome
Isolated sleep paralysis
Narcolepsy
Night terror
Obstructive sleep apnea
Polysomnography
Sleep).  Needless to say, I do need aggressive painAbdominal pain
Abdominal pain diagnosis
Acupuncture and pain
Ankle pain
Anterior knee pain
Back pain - low
Bone pain or tenderness
Breast pain
Causes of painful intercourse
Chest pain
Chronic pain - resources management.  I found myself double doctoring, getting 90 percoset a month from my primaryPrimary amyloidosis
Primary biliary cirrhosis
Primary hyperparathyroidism
Primary insomnia
Primary lymphoma of the brain - each doctor not knowing I was getting double meds.  When I went through 120 vicodinVicodin
Vicodin tuss in a little over a week, I got really scared.  Even if I run out of everything - I have ready access to refills.  I realized I must stop this!  I turned all my meds over to my husband and have been only taking my prescribed doses for about 4 days now, using 1/2 tablet of ativan in the late afternoon to quell the bit of anxietyGeneralized anxiety disorder
Separation anxiety
Stress and anxiety I start to feel.  Today I only took my oxycontin and 2 vicodinVicodin
Vicodin tuss.  This is a majorMajor tears
Major-con cutback for me but I felt really good!  My headHead and face reconstruction
Head injury
Head lice
Indications of head injury
Radial head injury is starting to clearClear by design
Clear eyes
Clear eyes acr
Clear eyes clr and I am starting to feel more motivated.  



I have read every single post on this board over the past week and finally got the guts to post myself.  I am a nurse.  Well, I am a retired nurse because of my disability I am no longer able to work.  BackBack pain - low
Back strain treatment in May I decided to let all my scripts run out and stop taking anything - oh my god I thought I was going to die.  I told my doctors this and their response was "this is not the time to deal with dependance, your painAbdominal pain
Abdominal pain diagnosis
Acupuncture and pain
Ankle pain
Anterior knee pain
Back pain - low
Bone pain or tenderness
Breast pain
Causes of painful intercourse
Chest pain
Chronic pain - resources management at this time is the main concern, there may come a point in time when we can deal with the dependancy but now is not the time."  



So... now I am trying to justify my dependance/addictionDrug abuse and dependence with the words of the people who's care I depend on.  Any feedback?  If I can live on 2 10mg oxy and a couple of vicodinVicodin
Vicodin tuss for breakthrough painAbdominal pain
Abdominal pain diagnosis
Acupuncture and pain
Ankle pain
Anterior knee pain
Back pain - low
Bone pain or tenderness
Breast pain
Causes of painful intercourse
Chest pain
Chronic pain - resources and an occasional ativan for anxietyGeneralized anxiety disorder
Separation anxiety
Stress and anxiety - is this a bad thing?  I do recognize that I need painAbdominal pain
Abdominal pain diagnosis
Acupuncture and pain
Ankle pain
Anterior knee pain
Back pain - low
Bone pain or tenderness
Breast pain
Causes of painful intercourse
Chest pain
Chronic pain - resources control or I am curled up in a stiff useless ball of painAbdominal pain
Abdominal pain diagnosis
Acupuncture and pain
Ankle pain
Anterior knee pain
Back pain - low
Bone pain or tenderness
Breast pain
Causes of painful intercourse
Chest pain
Chronic pain - resources.  Will this be the rest of my life?  I know I can't do what I had begun to do - abuseAlcoholism
Chemical dependence - resources
Child abuse - physical
Child abuse - sexual
Child neglect and psychological abuse
Drug abuse
Drug abuse and dependence
Drug abuse first aid
Family troubles - resources
Laxative overdose
Signs of drug abuse the drugsChemical dependence - resources
Chemotherapy
Drug abuse
Drug abuse and dependence
Drug abuse first aid
Drug allergies
Drug induced hypertension
Drug rash on the back
Drug rash, tegretol
Drug signs and teenagers
Drug-induced hypertension by taking them in large doses just to feel good.  That really started to suck, and scare me.  



I would have posted a new thread but the system wouldn't let me.  I am sorry for that and hope you all respond.  I feel I know you all because I can relate deep in my core to all your stories.  I also feel I can help because of my firstFirst progesterone mc10
First progesterone mc5
First-progesterone vgs 200
First-progesterone vgs 400 handHand or foot spasms
Hand tremor experience and my professional background.  I woke up at 3am with the shakes and diarrheaBacterial gastroenteritis
Campylobacter enteritis
Diapers and diarrhea
Diarrhea
Diarrhea in children - diet
E. coli enteritis
Giardiasis
Traveler’s diarrhea diet to beat the band, but what did I do?  I took 2 somaPolycystic kidney disease
Somatization disorder
Somatoform pain disorder and a bentyl (antispasmodic) to calm my gut down and decided it was time to reach out to you guys.  



Is there a happy medium somewhere between abuseAlcoholism
Chemical dependence - resources
Child abuse - physical
Child abuse - sexual
Child neglect and psychological abuse
Drug abuse
Drug abuse and dependence
Drug abuse first aid
Family troubles - resources
Laxative overdose
Signs of drug abuse and livingAdvanced care directives comfortably at our prescribed doses?  I just started the oxy and I think so far it's a lifesaver!  I am able to avoid the roller coaster and only take the vicodinVicodin
Vicodin tuss for breakthrough agony.  



Any feedback you can give me will be so appreciated.  I look forward to getting to know you guys.  Thanks so much for listening.



OffTopic Blathering Chick :)

You need to take control of your addictionDrug abuse and dependence. Only take what you absolutely need to live a normal life. If you cannot take control of your addictionDrug abuse and dependence. You might consider methadone or LAAM maintenance. Opiate addicition is a serious and dangerous disease. It times it almost sounds like you are bragging or boasting about the medicines that you take. This a serious and debilatating disease if you let get out of control. The pills that you are taking are morphine substitutes with almost the same addictive properities. Support is not about sugar coating this serious disease. Do the right thing and remember what you learned in nursing schoolPreschooler development
Preschooler test
Preschooler test or procedure preparation
School age child development
School age test or procedure preparation
School-age children development about addictive substancesDrug abuse.

Stay Focused and Good Luck,

Doc Dan..

Dan,



Thanks for the reply.  I really didn't mean to come off sounding like I was "bragging or boasting" about the meds I take.  That wasn't my intent at all, I assure you.  I'm sorry if I came off sounding that way.  I was trying to be honest.  I know you are an active participant in this forum and you are a source of great inspiration and support for everyone.  The last thing I want to do here is, well... blather on and sound like an idiot.  Anyway - I do thank you sincerely for your response.  



blathering chick :)

It sounds to me that you may have been drugChemical dependence - resources
Chemotherapy
Drug abuse
Drug abuse and dependence
Drug abuse first aid
Drug allergies
Drug induced hypertension
Drug rash on the back
Drug rash, tegretol
Drug signs and teenagers
Drug-induced hypertension seeking and got scared after taking a month's worth of painkillers in a week. I think anyone except for really hardcore abusers would get concerned. It is good that you are trying to cutCuts and puncture wounds down! I let my wife control my meds as I've had problems with abuseAlcoholism
Chemical dependence - resources
Child abuse - physical
Child abuse - sexual
Child neglect and psychological abuse
Drug abuse
Drug abuse and dependence
Drug abuse first aid
Family troubles - resources
Laxative overdose
Signs of drug abuse in the past. She keeps mine in her safeSafe driving for teens
Safe sex .

I have some of the medical problems that you have so I know how the painAbdominal pain
Abdominal pain diagnosis
Acupuncture and pain
Ankle pain
Anterior knee pain
Back pain - low
Bone pain or tenderness
Breast pain
Causes of painful intercourse
Chest pain
Chronic pain - resources can get to you. Sometimes it is depressing when you think about the long term aspect of narcoticDrug abuse painAbdominal pain
Abdominal pain diagnosis
Acupuncture and pain
Ankle pain
Anterior knee pain
Back pain - low
Bone pain or tenderness
Breast pain
Causes of painful intercourse
Chest pain
Chronic pain - resources control. I have a niece that has been on narcoticsDrug abuse since 1992 for chronicAcute vs. chronic conditions
Addison’s disease
Anemia of chronic disease
Cause of chronic bronchitis
Chronic bronchitis
Chronic cholecystitis
Chronic fatigue syndrome
Chronic fatigue syndrome - resources
Chronic lymphocytic leukemia (cll)
Chronic lymphocytic leukemia - microscopic view
Chronic motor tic disorder painAbdominal pain
Abdominal pain diagnosis
Acupuncture and pain
Ankle pain
Anterior knee pain
Back pain - low
Bone pain or tenderness
Breast pain
Causes of painful intercourse
Chest pain
Chronic pain - resources and it has really made her life all but unfit. She was in med schoolPreschooler development
Preschooler test
Preschooler test or procedure preparation
School age child development
School age test or procedure preparation
School-age children development when she was involoved in a terrible car accident that caused spinalCerebral spinal fluid (csf) collection
Lumbar puncture (spinal tap)
Lumbar spinal surgery - series
Lumbosacral spine ct
Posterior spinal anatomy
Scoliosis
Spinal anatomy
Spinal cord abscess
Spinal cord injury
Spinal curves
Spinal fusion problems that can't be repaired. She is a legal junkie but I would never trade places with her just so I could have narcoticsDrug abuse. Now look who's blathering here!

ChronicAcute vs. chronic conditions
Addison’s disease
Anemia of chronic disease
Cause of chronic bronchitis
Chronic bronchitis
Chronic cholecystitis
Chronic fatigue syndrome
Chronic fatigue syndrome - resources
Chronic lymphocytic leukemia (cll)
Chronic lymphocytic leukemia - microscopic view
Chronic motor tic disorder painAbdominal pain
Abdominal pain diagnosis
Acupuncture and pain
Ankle pain
Anterior knee pain
Back pain - low
Bone pain or tenderness
Breast pain
Causes of painful intercourse
Chest pain
Chronic pain - resources *is* depressing sometimes.  I'm sorry about your neice, wow.  You aren't blathering! I like to read what you have to say.  I am glad I am not alone in turning my meds over to someone else and having them doled out.  Weird thought I keep having though...  if I continue taking the dose I have been, by the end of the month I am going to have a surplus... then I get my refills - wow -  I keep thinking - when I have a reserve - would it be so bad to play a little for a few days?  I know the answer to that!! It would be VERY bad!!  I guess it's time to start working on the mentalMental retardation
Mental status tests aspect of this thing.  Thanks for your input! Stay strong :)



blathering chick - also known as Deja

Have you heard the old expression "it's better to have and not need than to need and not have"? Just having the peace of mind that you are not going to run out of meds is important to well being.  My wife has been taking XanaxXanax
Xanax xr and LortabLortab
Lortab asa for six years now and always has a surplus. She is not an addict now or has ever gotten into abuseAlcoholism
Chemical dependence - resources
Child abuse - physical
Child abuse - sexual
Child neglect and psychological abuse
Drug abuse
Drug abuse and dependence
Drug abuse first aid
Family troubles - resources
Laxative overdose
Signs of drug abuse. She is the epitomy of moderation and that's why I can trust her as I do. Why we all can't be this way is a mystery to me! Left to my own devices, I would be in deep sh*t within a month with my addictive personalityBorderline personality disorder
Histrionic personality disorder
Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder
Paranoid personality disorder
Personality disorders. Just a thought to ponder.  Be well!

Wow - You are so right about the stressArds (acute respiratory distress syndrome)
Broken bone
Exercise stress test
Fetal heart monitoring
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Respiratory distress syndrome (rds) in infants
Stress and anxiety
Stress echocardiography
Stress formula with iron
Stress gastritis
Stress incontinence, lack of respect for what we do and the general burnAirway burn
Burn, blister - close-up
Burn, thermal - close-up
Burns
Burns - resources
Eye burning - itching and discharge
First degree burn
Gastroesophageal reflux disease
Heartburn
Heartburn prevention
Minor burn - first aid - series out factorFactor ix complex alone that comes with the nursing profession!  Before I had to stop working because of my disease I left patientKidney diet - dialysis patients care and went to work as a technical field support person for a big medical laboratory.  I was on the road visiting doctors and teaching their staff- yadda yadda yadda - needless to say - it was great!  I was also being handed sample meds by the bagful - not so good in retrospect, lol.  "Hey! Need some xanaxXanax
Xanax xr today?"  Duh!!  



I did something not so honorable yesterday.  My husband hurt his backBack pain - low
Back strain treatment at work, went to the doctor and was prescribed vicodinVicodin
Vicodin tuss ES.  I took ONE last night.  So - my total for yesterday was 2 oxy, one ES and one regular 5.5 (and my 3 somaPolycystic kidney disease
Somatization disorder
Somatoform pain disorder for the day)...  better than I was a few weeks ago but I shouldn't have taken that ES.  I told him to hide his pills -  I can't be trusted.  So now he has his hidden, mine hidden and he fills my bottle with only my prescribed dose for the day of which there has been left overs in every day for about a week now.  



Boy - I know what you mean about having that relief to look forward to at the end of the day.  I remember coming home so emotionally and physically spent - taking those pills and feeling "normal".  What a way to live, eh?



Would love to chat with you.  Do you have ICQ?  I could give you my email address also.



Deja (aka blathering chick)

......Now getting backBack pain - low
Back strain treatment to the original question. Doc Dan? Tom?

Anyone?

Euphoria is not a healthy state of mind. It is what keeps you addicted to opiates. It is a very unhealthy coping mechanism. There is a term for nurses like you. It is called impaired medical professionals. I have a lot of respect for the nursing profession as a whole,it is a wonderful helping profession. Get a hold of your addictionDrug abuse and dependence and get some help. You sound like you are a very intellegent young lady. You need to address your painAbdominal pain
Abdominal pain diagnosis
Acupuncture and pain
Ankle pain
Anterior knee pain
Back pain - low
Bone pain or tenderness
Breast pain
Causes of painful intercourse
Chest pain
Chronic pain - resources and

and addictionDrug abuse and dependence problems in a more appropiate manner. You are in the early stages of your addictionDrug abuse and dependence get a hold of it before it damages your career. I must say there are more nurses who cope and faceFace pain the problems without turning to substanceDrug abuse abuseAlcoholism
Chemical dependence - resources
Child abuse - physical
Child abuse - sexual
Child neglect and psychological abuse
Drug abuse
Drug abuse and dependence
Drug abuse first aid
Family troubles - resources
Laxative overdose
Signs of drug abuse. Do the right thing.

Sincerely,

Dan

ps: A good painAbdominal pain
Abdominal pain diagnosis
Acupuncture and pain
Ankle pain
Anterior knee pain
Back pain - low
Bone pain or tenderness
Breast pain
Causes of painful intercourse
Chest pain
Chronic pain - resources/addictionDrug abuse and dependence specialist is the way to go.

I have read that there is a vacination being researched to abolish or help with cocaineDrug abuse cravings.

Doc Dan..

Hi there, welcome to the forum!  As a nurse myself and also a chronicAcute vs. chronic conditions
Addison’s disease
Anemia of chronic disease
Cause of chronic bronchitis
Chronic bronchitis
Chronic cholecystitis
Chronic fatigue syndrome
Chronic fatigue syndrome - resources
Chronic lymphocytic leukemia (cll)
Chronic lymphocytic leukemia - microscopic view
Chronic motor tic disorder painAbdominal pain
Abdominal pain diagnosis
Acupuncture and pain
Ankle pain
Anterior knee pain
Back pain - low
Bone pain or tenderness
Breast pain
Causes of painful intercourse
Chest pain
Chronic pain - resources sufferer/addict, I think we will have a lot to offer each other by way of support!  I have met/read about SO MANY other nurses who are also addicts, whether simply due to recreational use or as a result of injuries or both.  I often wonder if there is something inherent in the profession that leadsLead poisoning nurses to abuseAlcoholism
Chemical dependence - resources
Child abuse - physical
Child abuse - sexual
Child neglect and psychological abuse
Drug abuse
Drug abuse and dependence
Drug abuse first aid
Family troubles - resources
Laxative overdose
Signs of drug abuse drugsChemical dependence - resources
Chemotherapy
Drug abuse
Drug abuse and dependence
Drug abuse first aid
Drug allergies
Drug induced hypertension
Drug rash on the back
Drug rash, tegretol
Drug signs and teenagers
Drug-induced hypertension.  We function day after day in a relentles, high stressArds (acute respiratory distress syndrome)
Broken bone
Exercise stress test
Fetal heart monitoring
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Respiratory distress syndrome (rds) in infants
Stress and anxiety
Stress echocardiography
Stress formula with iron
Stress gastritis
Stress incontinence profession. If we haven't had the good fortune of learning BEFORE becoming nurses how to cope with stressArds (acute respiratory distress syndrome)
Broken bone
Exercise stress test
Fetal heart monitoring
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Respiratory distress syndrome (rds) in infants
Stress and anxiety
Stress echocardiography
Stress formula with iron
Stress gastritis
Stress incontinence in productive ways, I believe we are left with almost no other choice but to turn to drugsChemical dependence - resources
Chemotherapy
Drug abuse
Drug abuse and dependence
Drug abuse first aid
Drug allergies
Drug induced hypertension
Drug rash on the back
Drug rash, tegretol
Drug signs and teenagers
Drug-induced hypertension or alcoholAlcohol and diet
Alcoholism
Alcoholism - resources
Breath alcohol test
Delirium tremens
Fetal alcohol syndrome.  Unlike physicians, who function in the same environment that we do, we do not usually receive the necessary respect, support and accolades that they do.  Its damn hard.  There are nights I come home from work feeling so beaten down by my fellow nurses, the demands of my patientsKidney diet - dialysis patients and the physicians I work with.  That fact combined with painAbdominal pain
Abdominal pain diagnosis
Acupuncture and pain
Ankle pain
Anterior knee pain
Back pain - low
Bone pain or tenderness
Breast pain
Causes of painful intercourse
Chest pain
Chronic pain - resources and exhaustion leaves me oftentimes thanking God that I have something I can take (ie opiates) to make me feel a little bit of happiness and euphoria at the end of my day...I am looking to get into another area of nursing that will provide me with a work environment that is less "challenging" than the one I am currently in (a high risk specialty area).  Until then, I know I cannot give up the pills.  It's so sadDepression I think.  I work incredibly hard to provide my patientsKidney diet - dialysis patients with as painAbdominal pain
Abdominal pain diagnosis
Acupuncture and pain
Ankle pain
Anterior knee pain
Back pain - low
Bone pain or tenderness
Breast pain
Causes of painful intercourse
Chest pain
Chronic pain - resources-free an existance as humanly possible, yet I cannot do the same for myself at this time.  Sorry to rant, I just had to get some things out.  Good luck to you, and hopefully you will post again soon, as I (as well as Im sure everyone else here) am very interested in hearingAge-related hearing loss
Audiology
Hearing loss
Hearing or speech impairment - resources more about you and how your cutCuts and puncture wounds-backsBack pain - low
Back strain treatment are going!  Peace...

Sorry to be butting in here but I think you may be right about the nursing profession.

My mother is a retired RN. She served in the Korean War and retired shortly after the Viet Nam War. One of the reasons she got