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MedHelp Member's Question

Parent of a heroin addict

by CASEY, Nov 28, 2000 12:00AM
My 19 year old has been using heroin for a year. Right now, he denies it but then he will ask for clonodine. Until he admits he has a problem, what should we do? Wait around until he crashes? He suffers from severe depression and is on Wellbutrin. He attributes all of his problems to depression and is very angry if I suggest it is the drugs. I am trying to go on with my life but it is hard when he is falling apart at 3:00 am, crying and lamenting about having no hope. I am going to Alanon. I have told him we will get help for him when he is ready but his meltdowns are killing our family. How direct should I be about the evidence he sometimes leaves around plus the raging? I am so worn out. Help!
Member Comments (57)

by J.B. to Brian and Vicky, Nov 28, 2000 12:00AM
Apparently your son lives with you so now it is a family problem. You need to confront him now along with the rest of the family for back-up support.  My brother did this 3 years ago with my nephew and it worked!  Alanon should be able to help you out on how to handle this one correctly.  If your son is self medicating with heroine, he definately needs professional help as he has some deep seated problems that need to be addressed now!  See if you can find a detox facility with an addition specialist and talk to them about your son if you value your sanity and your family's well being.  Good luck! Now is the time to be firm and not take any more BS from your son.

by Daryl to Lynn and J.B., Nov 28, 2000 12:00AM
i apoligize in advance for asking this here..but all of those who use the pill box pharmacy..how soon can you get refills? Thanks all...everyone is great here!

by for Sick and scared/beware of Vicky!!, Nov 28, 2000 12:00AM
Hi

I was going to use the pillbox but I heard that they do not prescribe narcotics and ship via mail or UPS. Tell me about your experience with them if you will. I suffer from chronic pain and doctors are just idiots when it comes to compassion. I figured I would try the pillbox and have a phone consultation with one of their doctors.

let me know

thanks

by Mike P. to Ken, Nov 28, 2000 12:00AM
Found this on the site recommended way below. I think it has some great thoughts as far as use and "addiction" go. Check it out. This was found under the Oxycodone section. Sounds like the medical professionals that put that site together have a better grasp than many on opiates and the fear that surrounds them. Unfortunately, most doctors don't "gradually decrease" anything. - Mike P.



"Use exactly as directed by your prescriber or health care professional. If you are taking oxycodone on a regular basis, do not suddenly stop taking it. Your body becomes used to the oxycodone and when you suddenly stop taking it, you may develop a severe reaction. This does NOT mean you are "addicted" to oxycodone. Addiction is a behavior related to getting and using a drug for a non-medical reason. If you have pain, you have a medical reason to take pain medicine such as oxycodone to control your pain. If you do stop oxycodone treatment after several days, your prescriber will gradually decrease your dose over a period of time to avoid any adverse reactions."



by J.B. to Brian and Vicky, Nov 28, 2000 12:00AM
Here's another example of people's disegard for someone's question.  Genie deserves better than that on her thread.  I'm getting tired of you whiners on this forum because you are the problem and not one iota of the solution.  Never ever trash another's thread with your selfish, wimpy questions here.  I know that I'll probably get flamed for saying this but I just have had it up to here with this kind of posting.

by to chad and von, Nov 28, 2000 12:00AM
First to J.B.  You have my upmost respect for your post.  I totally agree with you.  Genie came here asking for help, posted a VERY serious question, and you gave her a great answer.  The others who posted just shoved her aside without even the courtesy of responding, simply so they could get their rather UNIMPORTANT posts read.  To me this is the height of selfishness and just another sign of our incredibly selfish culture.  If you do get flamed J.B., it will come from selfish, ignorant people who are not even worth my spending the time to write about them.  To Genie, J.B.'s post about an intervention is a great idea.  So is Alanon.  As J.B. said, please raise the issue with them.  With respect to your son, he needs immediate professional help.  Look for a psychologist/psychiatrist certified in treating addiction.  Also, I think you must confront your son, with love but with firmness.  Heroin is FAR too dangerous to not confront him about.  At least those of us addicted to pills knew EXACTLY how much narcotic we were using.  Your son is at tremendous risk because heroin strengths vary so much.  His next dose could be his last.  You are correct, if he is asking for clonidine, he is using.  You must get him professional help, urge him to go to meetings, search his room to ensure you know EXACTLY what he is doing, and set strict groundrules for him continuing to live in your house.  Finally, most addicts don't allow anyone to help them until they hit rock bottom.  I hope your son is not in this category.  Good luck to you and please post again.  Phil

by genie, Nov 28, 2000 12:00AM
Thanks for getting the discussion back on track. I truly appreciate your support. When you  live within the craziness of addiction, it is helpful to hear a sane voice. My son admits he loves heroin but insists it is in the past. As much as I would love to believe him, I don't. I don't have hard evidence but my gut speaks loudly. When he is raging and crying , I don't know if  he is coming down or manifesting his depression. Daily, I put it in front of him that when he is ready for help, we will get it for him. We try hard not to make his use easy for him. His basic issue is that he is terrifiedd of facing adulthood and is seriously dragging his feet to the point that he makes himself ill. I wish I had faith in rehab. If he does agree to getting help, I don't know which way to jump. Rehab? AA? Acupuncture and homeopathy? It is all such a **** shoot. I hear of so many having spent their life savings on rehab. to no avail. What has worked in your experience? thanks, guys.

by Daryl to Lynn and J.B., Nov 29, 2000 12:00AM
well if i COULD post a new question i would...dang..maybe u all should never quit..cause u are all to uptight WITH drugs...cant imagine seeing u a penny short in line at the market..no disrespect to you Genie..but instead of this people responding to you..they have to cry about me! so they are just as disruptive! it took 2 secs. to read my post..and i had to spend a couple mins reading these other people get all uptight..get a life and if you dont like my post..dont respond to it..geez

by J.B. to Brian and Vicky, Nov 29, 2000 12:00AM
Sorry about yesterday's post, I guess I was pretty snippy with you.  Don't take it too personal, I just meant that many times people post some questions that need immediate attention.  Many times we get way off track and the original poster will get pretty upset that no one seems to care about their problem.  Using heroine is a very big problem for anyone, especially a 19 year old.  I'm glad that you understand why is said what I said!

I use a mail order pharmacy but I don't want to give you their name.  My doctor referred me to them so I assume you would need a referral.  Every transaction is done by a code like a long PIN number.  I get eleven different meds this way.  Two of my meds are Schedule III and I have to inform them 10 days before I'm out.  They are shipped via FedEx and arrive right on schedule almost to the day I will run out.  I am also on a payment plan which really helps finacially in that I send a predetermined amount each month(like the power company's budget program). The price of the meds are probably 20 percent lower than the local pharmacy.  See if your doctor knows anything about this.

by to genie, Nov 29, 2000 12:00AM
i have a 19 yr old cousin thats in jail because of heroin and god knows what else.he was finally arrested for daytime b&e. he has stole money and cars & about anything else you can think of. he has parents that love him dearly and unconditionally to the point that they wanted to think he was telling them straight this time& this time & this time...dont buy into it or your gonna go down that same road my family has gone.i think phil &jb have told you right dont think its gonna go away. take action before your looking at him from the other side of the bars.i ve never used  heroin but saw this with my cousin unfold over the last 5 years, dont let his crying full ya get him somewhere!before you dont have a say. wishing you luck & will pray for you all

by Mike P. to Ken, Nov 29, 2000 12:00AM
Instead of jumping on anyone's ass - regardless of a "sorry" - Post to the creators of this board and ask for more acceptable posts a day. People will continue to tag on until that is resolved. As for me - I no longer give a ****. Shame on me for leaning on people in cyberspace for ANYTHING - and shame on the rest of you for typing anything here instead of talking to your loved ones. Or for posting medical questions that demand actual medical attention instead of someone's reply here - regardless of their "medical qualifications" etc. Thanks to those who have shown me just how inane this board is. It's a crutch for some - a catalyst for others and serves to do nothing but alienate anyone who relies on it from the real world. What's really wrong with this country? People tend to find a substitute for anything but reality. First it's the drugs and then it's the internet. You guys have fun discussing the endless ramifications of drug addiction and what to do about it while doing nothing about it. I'm going to do what I should have done long ago: forget this site ever existed and go live in reality. Those of you who can't talk to your kids, spouse, doctor, shrink, dealer etc., turn off your computer and learn how to. Until then it's just procrastination and excuses. I won't post again.

by Gina, Nov 29, 2000 12:00AM
A guy named Charlie stated that he was prescribed vicodin from the pillbox. He states that it is legitimate. A physician will phone you and discuss your symptoms. Charlie was given a script for 100 vics and 1 refill. He stated he did this just to hold him over until he went through detox and has now been clean for approx. 2 months now. Has anyone else tried? I had gone online and started to answer the questionaire but when I was asked who my server was (HTTP OR ?) I didn't know the answer and could not progress any farther. I felt like this was a sign from above so I didn't proceed. If anyone else has tried please let us know. Thanks!!!!!

by to chad and von, Nov 29, 2000 12:00AM
You, anonymous poster who wrote to "J.B. and the rest."  I am glad you are leaving this board.  You obviously don't get what is going on here. (AND you are too cowardly to put your name)  We are addicts helping other addicts, plain and simple.  MANY people have posted how much we have helped them.  If you are unable to understand this, and obviously don't have the intelligence level to do so, then PLEASE LEAVE!!  No one here is substituting this information for a doctor's opinion, or because they are "addicted" to the internet.  Instead, they are looking for information from those who know it best--the addicts themselves.  NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND?  As for your earlier barging in on Genie's thread, I stand by my prior post.  The manner in which you did it was incredibly rude, and therefore it doesn't surprise me you later lash out at those who sought to show you your rudeness.  Of course people have to post questions under others due to the lack of new questions.  However, when a very serious question like Genie's has been posted, THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS ACKNOWLEDGE HER PRIOR TO SHOVING YOUR OWN STUPID QUESTION IN!!  If you REALLY want to know what is wrong with this country my friend, it is people like you.  Rude, ignorant, arrogant, impatient, insensitive and selfish people, who trample on others' feelings without regard, simply to get their own needs met.  So, go from here and find some right wing nazi group where I'm sure you'll fit right in.  Good riddance.  Phil

by J.B. to Brian and Vicky, Nov 30, 2000 12:00AM
I'm the real J.B. and want you to know that I didn't write the post J.B. and the rest.  I was shocked when I read it and thought that either someone was trying to do me in or I was in some incredible blackout!  Thanks for the post you wrote to the anonymous poster(imposter).



About the Pill Box Pharmacy: I thought they were in all kinds of trouble with DEA.  I saw something on television a while back where a ten year old boy got Viagra from them!  I would be careful in dealing with a company like that because DEA might be knocking on your door next.

by to Kat, Nov 30, 2000 12:00AM
You're quite welcome.  I truly appreciate your posts here.  I think you've helped A LOT of people with your honesty, your caring input, etc.  I wish more people were less selfish about THEIR own needs and were like you.  Take care, Phil

by J.B. to Brian and Vicky, Nov 30, 2000 12:00AM
Thanks so much for the kind words!  I'd like to think that I've helped some people here and maybe made a difference.  But that is not the sole reason for my posting.  I like to type these messages to guage how I am doing...kind of like a diary.  It helps me keep my own sanity.  All I can say is that I have a lot of experience with alcohol and drug abuse and nothing except out and out rudeness shocks me anymore.  We all deserve to be heard here and nobody is any better than anybody else when it comes to needing help with our problems.  Phil, you are a good soul and the voice of reason here.  Tom, Dan, Brian, Brighty and so amny others have so much to give all of us.  We just need to listen and take everything they tell us to heart and make our own decisions.  That's it in a nutshell.  Take home what you want and leave the rest behind!  Be well my friend.

by Brighty to JB and Phil, Nov 30, 2000 12:00AM
You were both correct and appropriate to post as you did in regard and respect for others. You are to be commended. I have had many discussions with JB on this board and know you to be a person of integrity. And Phil, you are certainly a welcome newcomer. I think nearly everyone who comes here is a valuable addition to the knowledge and support that we come here for. I do think that it's hard to get questions on the board and this is why some folks just seem to interrupt and disrupt a thread. I hope that when anyone needs to do this that they can find a thread of similar content and insert their question there.... maybe that will help. Love, Brighty

by Brighty to Genie, Nov 30, 2000 12:00AM
THERE IS HOPE !!!!! Nearly everyone here knows that I have spent 3 1/2 years battling alongside my daughter and her heroin addiction. She began her addiction with RX Xanax and sooner or later tried everything and the heroin is what put her at death's door more than once. She has been in treatment now for nearly 9 months. Like your son she is young ... 21... and was despondent because she finally had found her nemesis... a drug so powerful it steals your soul. Y