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MedHelp Member's Question

Endorphins - When do I get them back!

by From Aunt Lindy to Mariah, Dec 10, 2000 12:00AM
Tags: Addiction
Hi All! (I cant believe I got through, I must collect myself a moment).



Does anyone know how long it takes to have ones endorphins return to pre-opoid days?  I am just wondering about the day that I attempt to only use things like Yoga, meditation, and maybe the antidepressants to tackle my fibromyalgia and arthritis.  I have wanted to know this for a long time but could not get through to make a new post.  This is one exciting day!  I think I will do a quick pick on Lotto!  I would appreciate any information from you good people.  I mean do the drugs need to be out of your system for a period of time?  Does it depend on what you were on and how long you were on it?  

Thanks Again Everybody,

Marcie!
Member Comments (67)

by J.B. to Brian and Vicky, Dec 10, 2000 12:00AM
In my opinion your question about the return of endorphines is moot.  The length of time here is as varied as we are different genetically.  I had a very long wait and went through months of treatment with SSRI meds and benzos.  One day I said that's enough!  Believe you me, you will know when they are back but I think you have to be clean and sober to realize it.  That's been my experience at any rate.  It's pretty subtle at first.  Today, I actually have emotions and can care about other's problems.  I can cry and feel again!  For so many years I thought that I was the only one in the world with problems-poor me.  In the end, I was alone with myself and I hated myself.  Endophines do a lot more than relieve pain, they make life worth living as a human being.



P.S. I bought two lottery tickets today and won $6.00.  That'll be part of my donation to Med Help.  I got the e-mail today from Cindy and Phil.  We need to keep this forum going!

by From Aunt Lindy to Mariah, Dec 10, 2000 12:00AM
I'm confused.  I want my endorphins to come back not to not be in pain but like you said to FEEL BETTER like you said you know the "make life worth living thing"  that is the part I want to know about.  Do you mean that you were on months of Antidepressants and like Xanax or something like that? Sorry to drill you with all the questions I am just trying to make sure I understand what you are saying! Do you mean that you quit taking antidepressants and tranquilizers and things suddenly fell into place?  You are going to wish like hell you did not answer my post arent you! (sorry).  I am glad you agree that we need to keep this site going!  You all are so terrific and with the holidays coming up we may need each other!!!!

Have a good Day.

Marcie!



by J.B. to Brian and Vicky, Dec 10, 2000 12:00AM
No, I didn't mean that everything suddenly fell into place.  It was a lot of soul searching, medications and help from fellow addicts that helped to make everything clear to me.  Call it a spiritual awakening.  After working on "my problem" for so many years, I can't say that anything was sudden.  But little by little things did fall into place for me.  No, I am not sorry for answering any of your posts.  All I can really say for sure is that it takes as long as it takes.  I know it's confusing to hear such a simplistic statement but it's really the heart of the matter.  There's two ways of looking at things....Keep it simple stupid or keep it stupid simple!  I'm sorry but my pain meds have kicked in big time and I'm getting kind of spaced out.



Just don't kill youself as I have.  Now I must pay the piper!

by From Aunt Lindy to Mariah, Dec 10, 2000 12:00AM
Thanks for your input.  Good to hear from you!

by Dee, Dec 11, 2000 12:00AM
Hi all, I tried to post this question as new, but as you all know that it sometimes impossible to do! I have a question, please bear with me if it seems like a 'stupid' one...but here goes,

If your liver starts to get 'sick' or doesn't work as well, when you do drugs what happens? I mean do you feel the pain meds more or do you feel them less??? have a great day all!

by vickyvortex to Carol, Marcie and J.B., Dec 11, 2000 12:00AM
.Carol:  I know that from previous postings, I believe J.B. is familiar with Liver ailments.  Both my parents had Hepatitis C.  My father has been able to live a normal life thru interferon, however, my beloved mother was not so lucky. From the little knowledge I have gathered, the liver is like a filter that absorbs all impurities(someone correct me if I am wrong.)  Some drugs, such as alcohol and tylenol tend to stay in the liver, and prevent it from functioning correctly, and after a long period of abuse or sickness, it stops working.  My mother was in Turkey on a vacation, and got an infection that sped up her Hep C infection and passed away within a month.  She had been ill with it since before i was born, but it had only been diagnosed within the last three years.  Since I was born with it, I have been tested several times and so far so good.  Marcie, if you find an answer about endorphins, please share, I am worried about it too.

by vickyvortex, Dec 11, 2000 12:00AM
I am sorry to interrupt your post Carol, but apparantly until J.B's six dollars kicks in only one question is allowed per day!! P.S. J.b. seriously, I have read up a little on the Bronze Star and I am not only very proud of the job you did for our country, but I believe every real hero is scared .  Only the stupid ones aren't.  I have a problem that is sort of drug related but a very serious one to me.  I named myself with the vortex because I do have something swirling around me.  It is not a vortex of hate, but one of regret and sadness.  I have recently turned 37, and I have a very understanding and patient husband, and a decent job.  however, I can't stop obsessing over the past.  I used to be pretty good-looking,   had some serious music connections and a pretty exciting life.  OF course, my addiction stepped in and I lost a lot of things and my youth.  I can't seem to accept that everyone gets older, my husband still loves me even though I am aging, and I panic because I feel my life is flying by and I am not acomplishing anything.  When I try to sleep, memories of my happy innocent college days and my fun not so innocent party days flood me so badly I can't breathe.  I take valium but it does not help the attacks.  I am seeing my doctor (Thank God, because I took a few too many vicodins with the flu and will fun out a few days early)  Actually, this is the best I have ever done with my script.  I am ususally out about 12 days before, and now it will only be about six.  However, I digress.  Please, if anyone knows what I can do to stop obsessing over superficial things like lost beauty, stupid hair bands and just the joy of being young please help.  Although this may come off silly, I am depressed in a way I have never been before and I need help.  Thanks to all my friends here.

by From Aunt Lindy to Mariah, Dec 11, 2000 12:00AM
I am going to reply in a minute.  I just wanted to make sure that you were still here.  Is there NO way to get in CHAT ROOM.  Geesh there must be a way we can all take when we need too.

I will send you a reply in a second

by Brighty to Vickyvortex, Dec 11, 2000 12:00AM
Vicky, I don't think you are silly. I have the idea that depression is a given with opiate use. But I don't think that means that you should just accept it. Please, whatever you do try to get some help... like counseling or maybe look into trying to get on an anti-depressant. Depression is nothing to fool around with.There is little question in my mind that you are being very hard on yourself. I'm sure that you are far more accomplished and youthful than you think.... you just seem to have a poor self image at the moment probably due to not feeling good. I'm 49 and it took me a long time to learn to let go of the image stuff and focus on the real things...like being grateful that my child is alive after all the od's and suicide attempts. But when there is real depression even counting blessings doesn't help. So please stay here and talk and maybe see what else you can do for youself. There are some good tapes you can get on letting go of the past and self forgiveness. Just a suggestion. You deserve to be well. Love, Brighty

by vickyv, Dec 11, 2000 12:00AM
wow!! Thank you all so much!  i didn't realize so many were listening.  As for the chat room, I have tried it too, and noone is ever there.  I have to pop out for a few minutes, but I will be back.  Thank you again for hearing me.

by From Aunt Lindy to Mariah, Dec 11, 2000 12:00AM
Hi!

I am 39, and I too have a phenomenal husband. I thank his family all the time for him.  I have a great job I love in the legal field. I too have this thing about obesessing the past. I am willing to bet that you are still beautiful (we can all stand to lose a few pounds).  My husband is such a doll that he forked out $6,500 for liposuction.  That liposuction has since gone into remission (haha).  Let's just say I am once again Calorically challanged!  As far as your other life If you ever want to talk about it I would love to hear about it! Exciting Life too huh!!! Tell Me Tell Me Tell Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Anyway, Now when you say you keep obsessing about the past do you mean the good ole days?  Like you look at it now and say damn I want to be there again?  And when you mention the fact that your husband loves you even though you are aging wouldnt you say you still love your husband even though HE IS AGING TOO?

Now why are you panicing(sp)?  Do you work?  If so and if you can say what do you do?  What do you do to keep yourself busy during an average day?  Once I had my first child I started freaking out because I did not have a college education.  I am thinking if my husband got hit by a truck can I afford the lifestyle I am living now?  I was obsessing too.  SO I was working at a law firm who put me throught Legal Secretary School then it was on to get my Paralegal Degree. I felt so alive.  I took my time doing it and had a blast.  I got all A's I was so proud of myself I couldnt stand it.  I was about 18 months pregnant (I know I just mean I was very pregnant) and I was gong to night school from 6 to 9 twice a week.  I was running on Adrenaline because I loved it so much.  For the first time in my life I was so proud of myself!

Now why do memories freak you out when you are trying to sleep?  Were they fun times?  Were they so much fun that you MOURN for the way it used to be?  You say that they flood you so badly and you cant breathe.  What are you thinking of when that happens (change the names to protect the innocent if you need to HAHA)?   Have you ever thought about a STRESS counselor?  I see one she if great she is in to Holistic Meditative type of counseling.  She has all kinds of degrees. And she is also a recovering alcoholic.  She is an amazing person.  I enjoy my appts. with her so much!  I feel revived!  

What is your situation that you are on the Vicodins?  What the hell do you feel like the 12 days till refill time?  Digress all you need Vicky say what ever you need to.  

Are you currently on Antidepressants?  ALL THESE DAMN QUESTIONS YOU PROBABLY ARE WONDERING IF YOU ARE GOING INTO THE MAYO CLINIC OR IF A FRIEND IS TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU ARE FEELING AND WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM!  SORRY FOR THE INTERROGATION!



Have you every had your thyroid check for Hyper/Hypo Thyroidism?



Vicky, I think that you are always going to think and worry about those type of things.  With me it got worse because after I had my first child I suddenly started caring about WORLD PEACE, SAVING THE WHALES, IRRIDATION OF OUR FRUITS AND VEGETABLES, SPENT ALMOST OUR LIFE SAVINGS ON ORGANIC BABY FOOD, RESEARCHED TOO MUCH ON SIDS, CHILD ABDUCTION YADA YADA YADA.



In closing Vicky, One day a few years ago I went with my sister in law (who was visiting from South Florida) to a BIG craft show where I live. I was talked into taking a quit "hit" from a pipe filled with POT.  Now keep in mind it has been 20 years or more since I have partaken in such a thing.  Well Long story Long I swore EVERYONE was looking at me.  I swore that I saw all the snobs from the kids private school there.  I could not stop laughing and then proceeded to purchase AND EAT $50.00 worth of PEANUT BRITTLE.  I could not drive home and freaked out all the way home.  Went home and slept for a long time.  The moral of this story.  No matter how much you want it you just can't go back.  It just is not the same no matter how much you want it to be. I really mourn the thought of that.   I really do.



Please dont think anything you say comes off silly.  If I was worried about that I sure as hell would not have posted most of what is above up there!  Hang in there Vicky, and dont go to far away.  Oh Vicky, C'mon just throw one band or two at me PLEEEEASE.

Take Care Buddy!

Marcie!



by vickyvortex to marcie, Dec 11, 2000 12:00AM
Marcie, I almost had an anxiety attack reading your post!!!! just kidding.  You are correct about mourning the past.  It seems like I never realize how great things are until they are gone, such as jobs, school etc.  Not that I didn't have problems, its just that they overwhelemed me during the time, and it wasn't until later that I realized I had wasted some wonderful times by my worrying and depression.  I am afraid that now is a good time, but I don't realize it because I am in the throes of depression.  I had gone away to college after high school to get away from drinking and drugs; first a small Christian college in Tenn called Carson-Newman, and then I transferred to University of Tenn in Knoxville, where I began partying way too much.  Eventually I dropped out, with one year to go.  Last year I started in an accelerated program to finally get my B.S. in Accounting.  To make a long story short, my husband and I decided to finally get out of the small town we were currently living and head to the city.  Well, I miss school, I won't be able to transfer back into that program for another year.  While I was in this class, I felt alive for the first time in years.  I was doing great and didn't fo