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MedHelp Member's Question

To BRIAN

by CGTMHI, Jan 01, 2001 12:00AM
Tags: Addiction
For all those concerned about Brian, I have a few comments to make to him:



(1) In the world of addiction, it is often darkest before dawn. Hopefully, your recent taste of the depths of despair will spur you on to work harder at Recovery, and to work your program as diligently as possible, taking every minute, hour and day one at a time in a concerted effort to stay clean and sober.



(2) It is clear from your posting that the enormity of addiction is such that no one should face this beast while standing alone.  Reach out, as much as possible, to clean and sober friends and relatives who are able to provide you with the support that you need.  Bang out those self-help meetings as though your life depends on them - you should be shooting for at least one meeting every single day.  Take your body there, and your mind and heart will follow!



(3) Problems like yours should be shared face-to-face with a counselor or therapist who is skilled in the treatment of addictive disorders.  If you have trouble identifying a qualified professional in your area, try calling 1-800-662-HELP or logging in to:  



http://www.samhsa.gov/look3.htm



Good luck!  

Dr.  Steve  



http://www.HeadDocs.com





Member Comments (63)

by barbara to pain and lortab, Jan 01, 2001 12:00AM


I am really short on time today but I'll take enough to say I hope you are still with us and just decided to turn the ole computer off for one day to think about the ending year and new coming year.



I thought alot last night about it and decided I still have to keep fighting the battle no matter what. It is born in us to be survivors. They say so long as you can believe there is a God or higher power, nature or whatever higher than you that he or it won't give you more than you can bear. I pray in your case this to be true, I have found it true for myself even though there were so many times I had doubts. I am praying for you now, you are a good person who has tried to help many. That makes you worthwhile on this earth even though life is mean and cruel so often.



Even though your wife left, if you have a dog or cat, hug it and let it give you the power of natures healing. I have had my cats get me through many times by giving me their love and strength.

You may not feel it, but this world really needs you.



Hope you hang in their my friend in depression, I feel and understand it. We all love you here. Hope to hear from you soon!

by Brighty to Dr. Steve, Jan 01, 2001 12:00AM
Thank you for taking the time to come to this board during this time of concern and for reaching out so compassionately to Brian... and actually to all of us who are praying for him right now. Blessings upon your work. Brighty

by From Aunt Lindy to Mariah, Jan 01, 2001 12:00AM
about Brian.  My stomach is in knots. I was just wondering if any regulars we currently here.

Thanks,

Marcie.



P.S. Its 9:25 on Monday night.

by tom to thread re brian, Jan 01, 2001 12:00AM
I just want to know he's alive ... that fentanyl is the strongest stuff there is, you know - makes Oxycontin look like pez.

by From Aunt Lindy to Mariah, Jan 01, 2001 12:00AM
that he frequented another site (like this one) also?  It seems like I remember him saying that he was also posting on another site similar to this one.  I did not know if maybe someone knew what site he was referring to.  I am thinking that maybe someone asked what site it was.  If he told them then maybe we could look for him there.  Do this sound nuts or does it ring any bells? I know I am going on and on, just worried!

Marcie.

by Frankinscense, Jan 02, 2001 12:00AM
Until your crisis is over consider opiate agonist therapies. If ever a person is in need of this life saving method, it is you my friend! I have met and spoke with many physicians that utilised these therapies to help get their lives together.

You are obviously crying out for help. Now you must seek it. You know what to do! Call Dr.J.Thomas Paytes clinic in San Antonio. The director of that clinic is a physician that has experienced the same trials and tribulations that you are experiencing. He has spoke to me over the phone in times of need. He is a very good person. I am pressed for time,but the number can be reached by toll free assistance.(or through his website) My Peace I Give You,My Peace I Leave You!

Dan...

by Brighty to EVERYONE..... MED HELP HAS RE, Jan 02, 2001 12:00AM
I sent an e-mail to medhelp (Phil and Cindy).. they responded immediately. I have received 3 e-mails from them. As you can see they posted in a particular thread, they also contacted Dr. Steve who posted as a "question" and they just sent me a mail last night saying they think they have identified Brian but won't know for sure till today. They have sent sincere thanks to all of you for bringing this to their attention and for all of you being so caring. That's all I know so far. I have no idea if they will be able to make contact with him or how they will do it, if they figure out who and where he is. I say that because if they contact him by e-mail and he's not responding I am wondering if they will send someone to his home or try to call him on the phone. Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe by the time we get home today we will know something. Love, Brighty

by Brighty to Marcie, Jan 02, 2001 12:00AM
You're not nuts. In fact I went to that site months ago but did not add it to my favorites because I did not like it that much. I cannot remember what it was. And, yes, Brian did go there he said. I think there is a member here who also recommended it but I can't remember his name... started with "r".... I feel sure it was more of a chronic pain forum. Hope that helps. Brighty

by Brighty to Tom, Jan 02, 2001 12:00AM
Yes... I believe fentanyl is very hard to get isn't it ??? And from the information I have gleaned over many months it's stronger than heroin... I have also heard that it's sold as white powder heroin in some cities under the street name "china white". I think the fentanly patches are for serious pain like cancer and such..... who could get them other than the truly ill or those who have access ?? Yes, this is serious. Best wishes, Tom.

by From Aunt Lindy to Mariah, Jan 02, 2001 12:00AM
Maybe we will make some headway now.  I am still trying to think of the website.  I was wondering if it was the same one that Mariah went to.  I dont know.  Keep us posted too. Have a great day!

Marcie.

by barbara to pain and lortab, Jan 02, 2001 12:00AM


If Brian is in a detox center or mental ward for almost killing himself he would be difficult to reach by anyone unless he gives specific authority and even then it may be difficult until he is stabilized mentally. They are very careful about confidentiality at those places.

by tom to barbara, Jan 03, 2001 12:00AM
I pray that your explanation is the right one.



Brighty -- yes some underground chemists make fentenyl and sell it on the street as "designer heroin." It's so potent by weight that it kills a lot of heroin users trying to substitute with it. It's a great pain killer as a patch -- probably the most effective -- for terminal patients needing constant, powerful pain relief in the late stages of cancer death, etc.



Brian once told me that he had deliberately avoided trying the f-patch because a doc colleague of his told him that it was the addicted doctor's drug of choice. That and Dilaudid.



I hope this doesn't mean he went to the patch because he really, really wanted to "go out" in a big way and no longer card about the danger.



by Brighty to Tom--- and all re: BRIAN, Jan 03, 2001 12:00AM
Thanks for the information since I was not really sure. I'm from the Philadelphia area where that China White was really available.. the heroin addiction in Philly is very bad and very rampant also. This is where my daughter went with her "friends" to get drugs. I had no clue it was really fentanyl. Anyway, regarding BRIAN, I guess if the medhelp staff has not posted by the time I get home today I will send them another e-mail and ask them what they found out, if anything. Barbara may be right... they may have figured out who he is but not know where to find him. His friends may have intervened big time and sent him off to a mental health facility to get help and then I suppose he would take another try at rehab. I'm sure he has the benefit to provide this. In fact anyone here can get information by sending an e-mail to ***@**** and ask what the update is and to please post that information for us. Take care, Tom... Love, Brighty

by tom to Brighty, Jan 03, 2001 12:00AM
thanks for the update on Brian. Incidentally, "real" China White, to my limited knowledge, IS heroin, simply processed in a certain way. Fentenyl certainly could be masquerading as China White, which was probably your point to begin with. Thankfully, I've never been near any heroin to speak of, or I surely would have wound up another pale pile of bones shrink-wrapped in my own bruises and scabs in some municipal morgue somewhere. I know my mind, and I know how helpless I'd have been kneeling before the dragon. An experience better imagined than endured.

by Dee, Jan 04, 2001 12:00AM
I realize that you are all concerned about Brian..I would like to ask if anyone has ever talked to Brian offline..or if anyone ever had an email address for him? if not then  I must express a thought that I have..The internet is an awesome place to come and talk, meet people,make friends, and for most here,be geniune..you's should be 100% sure that 'Brian' wants his 'internet friends' to cross over the line into his 'private'

'real' life..we all know that the internet is a place where people can go and hide behind a screen and be anything that you want to be..I personally hope that before anyone sends anyone to his home or to his work or anywhere near his 'private' life, that they think long and hard before crossing that line..I'm sorry if anyone gets offended by this,that's not what I intended

by Dee, Jan 04, 2001 12:00AM
I realize that you are all concerned about Brian..I would like to ask if anyone has ever talked to Brian offline..or if anyone ever had an email address for him? if not then  I must express a thought that I have..The internet is an awesome place to come and talk, meet people,make friends, and for most here,be geniune..you's should be 100% sure that 'Brian' wants his 'internet friends' to cross over the line into his 'private'

'real' life..we all know that the internet is a place where people can go and hide behind a screen and be anything that you want to be..I personally hope that before anyone sends anyone to his home or to his work or anywhere near his 'private' life, that they think long and hard before crossing that line..I'm sorry if anyone gets offended by this,that's not what I intended

by Brighty to "anonymous" re: BRIAN, Jan 04, 2001 12:00AM
Your point is very valid and it occured to me numerous times since we contacted medhelp about him. He was unwilling to give an e-mail because he said he was on a "shared" computer... he had professional confidentialities and did not wish to be "exposed" in his particular profession or workplace. Nobody should be offended by your comments... I sure don't want anyone on the net tracking me down either. I have been concerned that if he is contacted he will feel violated and perhaps we have caused some problems for him....you are so right. The other side of the coin is that he posted here for many many months... he was a very private person yet very involved and dedicated and not at all flaky... I mean that to say we had sufficient reason to believe his postings. He posted that he made a very serious, very deliberate suicide attempt... he then posted what would appear as a final goodbye....soooooooooooooooooo !!! I think you understand that was the impetus to  cross the line and try to have the staff here find him and see if he was ok or needed help.... afterall suicide is a common reality for addicts.. they can't quit and they can't live with the pain... the mind is so distorted that death seems to be the only peace. Because my own child made 7... yes 7 attempts... I decided to support the folks here that have helped me so much, and to contact medhelp.... it may be some comfort to us to know that the staff at medhelp was in agreement that we acted appropriately. They said they believed they had "found" him but we don't know what they learned. I am sure the most they will tell us is if he is OK or not... which is all we want to know. To date we do not know if they have been able to contact him even if they figured his identity. He may be in the hospital or rehab.... and he may be very angry at us... time will tell. I think you are very correct and perhaps we acted with poor judgement. Thanks for making a good point. Love, Brighty

by to doc dan from joe, Jan 04, 2001 12:00AM
I've been away from the foum for some time and been reading all the posts about brian, I was just wondering where is his original post about what happened, I've been getting bits and pieces of the story from the previous posts.

by to doc dan from joe, Jan 04, 2001 12:00AM
I've been away from the foum for some time and been reading all the posts about brian, I was just wondering where is his original post about what happened, I've been getting bits and pieces of the story from the previous posts. I've scrolled down quite abit but cant seem to find it.

by friend to all, Jan 04, 2001 12:00AM
Look at the posting "Xanax" November 21, 2000, see comments 11/21/200 and you'll find our dear friend Brian.