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My husband needs help

by Lindsay, Aug 29, 2001 12:00AM
When I first met my husband he smoke marijuanna regulary.Now he has switched completely to alcohol. I first noticed he drank rather regularly. He was drinking about 2 pints of rum a week and when he had days off he got into the quart size. This was about 4 years ago and I commented on it. I didn't really notice anything after that but now I think it's because he was hiding it. Over the last couple of years I've noticed a personality change. He gets locked into intense rages that will last 4 or more hours where he yells and screams and spouts anything that comes to his head. One time he raged on for 5 straight hours because I was moping the kitchen floor. Then he'll fall asleep still be angry in the morning but by afternoon be fine. Other times he will appear to be sleeping on the couch and I will go in and wake him up and he will get very angry and absolutely deny he had been sleeping. He's done this several times, or he'll wake up and not be sure where he is. He'll think he's still at work (this is after he's drank about a pint or so). Over the past year I've found bottles of vodka hidden in the couch, in boots etc and several times he's been so drunk he can barely walk. When he isn't drinking he's quiet and moody and when he is drinking his emotions run from overly loving to rampant rage. Based on the bottles I find hidden I would estimate he drinks about 4 or more of those 1/5 size bottle of vodkas a week. His father is a reformed alcoholic and 5 out of 8 of his brothers and sisters having drinking problems. How far into alcoholism is he?  What can I do?
Member Comments (43)

by ?passive_aggressive!, Aug 29, 2001 12:00AM
To: skipper§JBear
.....lesser problem iz to quit takinn ultram...(or what ever u find available)....bigger one iz to find life fortune!!!



can`t ask for help if im not understood

thanx any way

?P_A!

by Francoise, Aug 29, 2001 12:00AM
To: Everyone (Abt. Thomas' Recipe)
Sorry to break in here, but you know what it's like being able to post a question or comment.



For the last few days, I've been experiencing some situational traffic having nothing to do with drugs. It's been high anxiety. I took 2,000 milligrams of L-Tyrosine and 200 of B6 on an empty stomach and within thirty minutes, the anxiety was all but gone. I don't know the long-term effects or if this will persist. But it certainly has worked magic for me this afternoon.



Thomas, I kiss your toes. Each one - individual like.



Francois

by Witchywoman, Aug 30, 2001 12:00AM
To: Lindsay
Hi Lindsay,

It sounds like your husband is well into the disease of alcoholism.  One thing I would suggest for you is to attend an alanon meeting, or read a book about codependancy and living with an alcoholic. Find out first how to take care of yourself in this situation, since you'll soon discover, if you haven't already, that you won't be able to make him stop.

It is important to let him know the impact of his behavior on you, but at the end of the day, only he can make the decision to walk the path to recovery. I am not saying ignore his problem...don't ignore it or pretend it is not there..just don't get caught into thinking you can rescue him. Tell the truth about how you feel about it, and get some support for yourself.

I wish I could help more..it is a very tough situation.



WW



by Witchywoman, Aug 30, 2001 12:00AM
HI all..

Just wanted to update you. I'm doing pretty well overall, except that sleep still eludes me and my back pain is SKY high. I think the back pain was a non issue during the withdrawals 'cause the withdrawals themselves were so intense. I don't know what I'm going to do about this. I've got a call into my doctor to talk about other pain management things I can do that don't involve narcotics.



I'm still very clear that I am an addict and that I can not responsibly handle the narcotics. I don't see narcotic pain meds as an option for me right now. I'd frankly rather deal with having this physical pain than with the hell of feeding the demon every five hours. I am going to look into a med like Viox, maybe that will at least take the edge off the pain and allow me to function. And the surgery is still not completely healed..the doc expects progressively more pain relief for the next few months still.



Life on the other side of withdrawals is brighter, even with this pain, I am not tempted to go back to feeding the demon, at least not yet  LOL  I'm sure that that battle will come.



love,

WW

by Witchywoman, Aug 30, 2001 12:00AM
To: GJ about 5 HTP
Thanks for the recommendation of the 5 HTP

I took it yesterday, and the emotional dip that I had been feeling completely went away. I think I'll stay on it for a while.



One thing though..even though it is sold as a sleep aid, since it is important in the body's production of natural melatonin, for some reason, it perks me right up. I took it at night, hoping it would help me sleep ..oooops...wrong! I was wide awake all night. Well, at least I was chipper and happy.

I often react in the opposite way that most people react to certain things though. I'm told that for most folks, they take it and sleep like a baby.



Hope all is going well for you GJ...how are things?



love,

WW

by jule1, Aug 30, 2001 12:00AM
To: WW § KRISTEN
Witchy what was the 5HTP For?  You are doing amazingly well!! Kudos!!!!  You should be so proud of yourself I actually think I am a little like Wiz I get addicted to things very easily also like the internet.  I sometimes do this with food I will want something over and over and then all the sudden I can't stand it anymore that is what happened with the opiate narcotics.  I will need your help for sure as I am healing.  Have a happy labor day are yo going to be doing anything fun.  Do you feel like doing anything fun should be the question?  Bless you

Kristen - How are you doing today?  I hope you are feeling a little better about things!

by pinky to rebecca, Aug 30, 2001 12:00AM
Please take a moment to read:



http://www.acay.com.au/~narcosis/skinofteeth.htm



Very powerful story and great insight into addiction.

by Witchywoman, Aug 30, 2001 12:00AM
To: Jbear
Hi Jules darlin!

You are just the sweetest. :-)



I actually am doing very well, though yesterday I definately was on a decline toward depressin, the 5 htp stopped it cold. It is stands for 5 hydroxytryptophan, an amino acid, and it is the precurser for the body to make seratonin. It also is involved in the body's production of melatonin, which makes you get sleepy.

My Acupuncturist told me it is very safe to take, but I'm also going to check it out with my doctor as soon as he calls me back.



So, my mood is fine, and I'm still thrilled, amazed, stunned, grateful, and yes...even proud (not so humble..LOL ) that I made it through the withdrawals and remain clean. I'm in a ton of pain though. My back is really screaming at me.  I've called my Doc to discuss non narcotic pain meds and am phone sitting hoping he calls me soon.



I'm like you and Wiz...I can be an internet addict as well. LOL

I'm still home since the surgery, waiting for my return to work date, so have not got much to do. This forum has been what got me off the pain meds though. If I hadn't had you guys to type to and babble on and on to during that withdrawal week, I don't think I'd have made it. We'll be here for you every step of the way any time Jules.



I am grateful for each and every one of you, and no matter where you are in your process of recovery, you all remain my teachers and my friends. Don't judge yourself for not being off yet, or for being on and not able to stop or not ready...when the time is right, the time is right. You'll know. And for the chronic pain folks, the direction is a management one, not abstinence.



love,

WW













by skipper, Aug 30, 2001 12:00AM
To: Witchy Woman
Witchy Woman:

I just finished reading your latest posting today (thursday) and

you really struck a chord in me. i like you, came to this forum

while recovering from spinal surgery. i don't know if  you re-

membered my story. i really don't have the time to go into the whole thing. in short: two spinal operations seperated by almost

one year with an attempt at suicide that got me 72 in the spin

bin. when my neuro-surgeon informed me on of the fussions in my neck had failed and that this would require another operation. this "news" didn't sink in until the weekend found me with a shot-

in my mouth. i can't offer any excuse for this cowardly (and selfish) attempt. i just couldn't do another summer like the last

one. well the surgery this time is looking to be successful.

so-- you can see the reasion your story and struggles really touched a part of me. i admire and am envious of your choice to

delay your return to work. for reasions not quite clear to me now,

i returned to work as soon as i possibly could. i was and still

am in a great deal of pain. also the boredom-- with 120 40mg. of

oxy-c i just had to get back to normal as soon as possible, or give in and revert to my oil burnning junky days. i so much admire

your success at puting down all the opiates. i, at this point can't do this. the neuro surgeon has more oe less told me the pain

i have will probably be with me for a long time (perhaps the rest

of my life). if you are able to beat the "dragon," as Wizard would say, please remember to always carry the spirit of gratitude for

this forum and all of the people posting here.i know i would not

be here to write this overly long posting if it wasn't here me.

need all of you people!

keep an angel on your shoulder

kip

by Witchywoman, Aug 30, 2001 12:00AM
To: Skipper
Hi Kip,

Yep..I sure do remember your story and your situation...your surgeries were more intense than mine. I can't imagine you going back as soon as you did..

I've been off work this long not because I want to be, but because my Doctor has told me I need to stay off.  I was supposed to return a few weeks ago, but then my Doc told me that I could not sit more than half an hour every four hours. I'm a therapist. I sit and talk to folks all day...so, the job has to buy me a special zero gravity reclining chair. That took forever to approve. They finally did, and I was again supposed to go back to work this coming tuesday but....My job decided to save a few hundred bucks to mail order the chair, rather than spring an extra $300. and buy one in stock in a local store. the mail order place now says they won't deliver the chair for another 2 to 4 weeks. I cried when I found that out. I am dying to return to work. I am bored out of my skull, I love my job, and I need to be able to put my attention on something other than my pain.



I don't know if I am going to be able to beat the Dragon. I still am having to take it day by day. My Doctor is not happy with me that I went off the meds with my pain this high, and I can feel the addict in me happy to hear that news. Still, for today, I am not going to take any meds. I want to see if there is another way.





Honestly, I'm feeling very mixed up inside about this whole question. When I went off the meds, my pain was lower than it is now. Withdrawals somehow made the back pain less noticeable. But I'm still left with the same question I had when I came to this board. I am definately an addict. I abused the meds. But, I still am a chronic painer. I hope my pain subsides soon, or if I start something like Celebrex that it makes it manageable. But what if it doesn't? Do I just live in pain, or do I try to change my relationship with narcotics and live in peace with them?



I do know that I could not ever honestly answer those questions until and unless I went off meds, really saw my actual pain level, and tried other things. So what I did by going off them now was necessary for me, though I would not recommend any chronic pain person do what I just did.



And Kip, watch me drag in new furniture and a whole new wardrobe into this forum, 'cause I'm here to stay! :-)  I need you guys, all of you, desperately. Even if I do manage to beat the Dragon, and stay clean, I can't imagine not needing to be with compassionate people such as all of you in order to keep this precious gift of life with Honesty.



you've been one of my strongest inspirations kip...some of the things you've said are things I played in my head over and over in my withdrawal week...and I'm grateful that you are alive, and I hope that pain free days and lots of joy come your way.



love,

WW