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Cocaine death
by pcalifa, Sep 26, 2001 12:00AM
My son was 19. He used cocaine intravenously for 3 years, particularly heavy the last year. One night he was alone, had a lot of coke, and couldn’t stop. He overdosed, had a psychotic episode, busted some glass, cut himself seriously and bled to death. His tolerance was high because of his frequent heavy use. The toxicology report indicates 1.0 mg/L of cocaine found in his blood. I’m not trying to be dramatic, but can you tell me maybe what his experience was? As a mother I want to know what he felt.
I know he is no longer struggling, his pain is over, and I believe he is now in True divine, peaceful bliss - the Real Thing!
Thank you.
first of all let me extend a welcome to this forum. there is always
room for one more person here. second of all let mexxpress my sor-
row and remorse at your sons death. of all the things that are spo-
ken of on this foeum, 2 are much over looked. 1) not erveryonr
afflicted with the disease of addiction will live through it. 2) of
those whom addiction doewsn't kill, not all will find recovery. I
know this is some tuff stuff to swallow even now, but none of us
makes the rules, we just live and die by them.
what it was your son felt can only be guessed at. my extensive use of this evil chemical (only thing worse is methamphetamine) would tend to agree with the description of WS buroughs in "Naked Lunch." he described it as a 'berserk pinball machine in the head." my last
thought after doing any cocaine ever was to get more coke!
again let me expresws my sorrow and regret at this tragicl loss
you have expierenced!
keep an angel on your shoulderkip
I love you all. -- Milo
to **** on the rug look-- it's great to hear your father is doing
so well. Post back some more and give us the rest of the story!
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
As they say, it's a long story, but let me reassure you there's no immediate crisis or anything like that. My dad's illness and then the inhuman terrorist attacks have made me think about not just the value of life but the importance of actually *living* it while we have the chance. I haven't been doing that for several years now, partly due to physical illness (IBS), partly extreme anxiety, esp. social anxiety, and partly long- standing unresolved issues. In many ways things are looking up now. I'm actually getting satisfaction out of my work, I have energy to do things again, and I'm feeling a little more optimistic overall. I finally have a combination of (legitimate) meds that has helped my stomach and my mood tremendously. The "problem" meds are an escape, a weakness, an avoidance of emotional pain.
Cindi, last I heard you were in need of a new doctor and very worried. How has all that worked out? Well I hope, because you deserve good care and freedom from fear. Kip, how is your father doing? And are you still improving physically? I've thought about you both often, even though I haven't stayed in touch.
Cindi, I still have your e-mail & may indeed bend your ear sometime soon. Both of you feel free to write me whenever you want. I can't tell you how good it feels to know you care!
-- Milo
I think that everyone's experience with cocaine is different and it is impossible to know what your son went through. I have never experienced anything horrific while on cocaine but my sister (we used together) would sometimes go through wild outbursts like your son and the next day she wouldn't remember what happened. I used to think that was a blessing. I thought that something in her brain would shut down and allow her not to feel or know about what was going on. I have heard that God doesn't put you through anything you can't handle. I can tell you that I went throuh an experience where death was imminent and it was the most peaceful, loving, beautiful moment of my life.