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There's an upside and downside to every mood altering drug. I would at least talk to my pharmacist before taking anything new. They will usually provide you with a printout of side effects. Incidentally, many people complain about sexual problems while taking AD's including me. It's frustrating! J.B.
I can relate to your loss of your best friend. My best friend of 28 years and I parted ways a couple years ago. I was devastated. What had happen is we both lived on the West coast. we were inseparatable all through junior high, high school and after. I moved to the East coast and although we didn't see each other all the time I flew out once a year for a few weeks. the distance didn't hinder our friendship. One year her and her husband flew out to visit and it was the trip from hell. She was way out of line. Obnoxious, fighting for the center of attention etc. anyhow, she ended up leaving two days early to go home. I was so upset and felt I failed as a hostess. Later I found out she was abusing pain pills plus a lot of other issues. It has been a few years and we have just started talking. it is hard to repair a friendship 3,000 miles away via telephone. I also had a very dear friend here where I live whom I have parted ways with. This has also caused me a lot of grief. But the thing I have learned is...sometimes these friends are gone forever. Sometimes they return. Sometimes we find the relationship might not ever be the same but with new boundaries and guideline there can someday be a relationship. Either way it is very painful. And I guess that is how you weigh their importance while in your life by the void it leaves when the relationship has split. I also found this one more reason to numb myself with pills. I know it is a great loss. My heart goes out to you.
Shea
and then i'll be dammed, (some) just resurface!it has a spooky
effect sometimes, like my past (i have way to much oast) starts
breaking in to the present.
only 1 of the people i started out in heavy drug use is still
alive. when i was living in so. mpls we used to sit in the kit-
chen all night and get loaded on what ever was at hand(usually
black tar H and/or methadrine). grouch, my friend would drink
several pints of cabin still (stab and kill) whiskey. he would
also lick the residue out of the cooker spoon if you let him.
many nights he would put a beter buzz on his head than i could!
i did a midnight move out of mpls. yup just threw a blanket on
the floor, toss anything you wanted to keep, pickup all four
corners and start bookin'. see my house and the one on either
side was under survalance, but thats another story.
the next time i saw grouch was at the Minnesota regional AA
blow out. I'd been clean about a year and to my amazement he
had a year and a half clean. a new friendship started. after
a little bit of what ever happened to who, i learned that an
old shooting buddy was livining in the house i left so quickly
years before. i also learned this person was really in a struggle
trying to get clean. OF COURSE I HAD TO HELP. when i arrived at
his place he was just in the process of fixxing. it was awful
i sat and watched when i should have just walked out. when
he was done, i set about the task of really jumpping him
emotionally. i said things i will never forgive myself for say-
ing! i went back the next day to make amends for my behaivor.
the door to his house was slightly open, but no responce to a
nock. i went into the front room to find him all blue and quite
dead. his ty still around his arm and his rig still in his arm.
i had never seen an OD when i was clean! words fall short of
saying what i felt to this very day. i dialed 911 on his phone
and split. i know he put the dope in his arm that killed him,
but i wish i had not been so judgemental and program-pushy!!
maybe things would have been different if i'ld practiced a little
more humility and acceptance!
i'm still in touch with Grouch. he stayed sober 13 years, got
devorced from his wife and started using again. i see him several
times a year- he is usually wasted. although this is painful
for me, i believe i can help him more if i first respect our
friendship and never preach or cut off from him!
i've never told anyone about this....i hope i didn't bore anyone
telling it. Life is short, even shorter for a junky. the worst
hunk of drug using sludge, deserves to be treated with kindness
and repect that a "normal" person takes for granted.
Grouch: if you read this call me!
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
You certainly have been there and back and then some!!!
I respect your strength, you're an amazing person, and don't you ever let anyone tell you different!!!!
I have my angel sitting there on my shoulder through the good times and the bad!!! Never hurts to have one closeby! :)
Lv Jenny
I'm sorry you are feeling so poorly these days with your treatment.
I've been way too busy, not getting nearly enough time to spend with all of my 'forum friends'!! Never forget how truly special you are, and if you do forget for some reason, there will always be someone on this board to remind you!!! :)
Take care, and i hope you feel better soon!!!!
((HUGS)) from a friend!
Lv Jenny