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Abusive behavior with Gin only
by Nik, Oct 23, 2001 12:00AM
None of the other alcohol questions seemed to be on point to my situation. My boyfriend is an alcoholic. It runs in his family and he just doesn't want to get help although he knows he has a serious problem. Twice when we have gone to a particular Club he has gotten Gin and Tonics. After 2-3 drinks he becomes VERY verbally abusive. After a brief period of time this behavior subsides and he has very little memory of it. When told about it he has faint recollections. Is it possible that his body "can't handle" gin? What is it about gin that would cause this? Or is this just a side effect from alcoholism that will eventually get worse and worse? Thank you.
One of my friends is Allergic too Vodka and become violent when he drinks it, even after only one shot !"
I can only really suggest you force him to stop drinking it, perhaps you should suggest a different drink !
- Goodluck, Alchole is a timid mistress , its never an easy thing to give up !
-Matt-
Ok, so your boyfriend is having problem handing gin. I wouldn't think that the problem would be so much the gin, more so, he has a problem with alcohol, and basically, he should sustain from any form of alcohol beverage.
Anything that alters your personality so drastically clearly shows that there's a problem. I assume he is still fairly young. But I will say this, you hit the nail on the head wondering if this was just the beginning and that it will get worse, IT WILL, no doubt in my mind!!!!
You can only make a suggestion to him to stop, seek treatment, whatever it takes for him to stop drinking completely. Unfortunately, especially with his underlying personality trait of being nasty, he probably won't take your advice.
Be prepared to make a life-adjustment, and possibly look for a new boyfriend, one that has his act together a bit more, and one who doesn't take out his angry on you; remember, no one deserves to be treated badly; it's time to move on.
If you care about him and are unable to move on, you can give it a short, try to help him help himself, and those are the key words, he must WANT TO DO THIS IN ORDER FOR HIM TO BE SUCCESSFUL, no one can force anyone to do anything!!!! Tell him that you WILL NOT continue to stick around and be treated like this. Either he find himself some help, or you are down the road, bye bye!!!
Simplying put: no one can change another person, and no one should be treated the way he is treating you, and lastly, it ALWAYS gets worse!!!
Good luck sweetie!
Jenny
my husband tried the thomas detox method a month ago and it seemed to work for ten days or so. then when he began going back to the 'source' for more fens and the fens weren't available, the methadone was.
he is now starting at a private methadone clinic.
my opinion of detox, this coming from the perspective of an onlooker, is that not only does the person need the desire to be clean, but the means to be clean. their status (employment, financial) plays into the bigger picture, and how they view themselves at the time is so important. he had my support through this trial, but he didn't have the support of self worth. so we're back to square one it feels like. and as good an idea as The Recipe is, it wasn't enough to let him loose with those weapons of addictive destruction. we need
i guess. cat
Francois
P.S. to the management. OK is there anything about THIS post that will make you delete it? I have again searched this site after a couple of weeks and EVERY post I have submitted is gone. I would appreciate an explanation concerning why you are deleting my posts, no matter how innocuous!
How about some honesty here? Why are you deleting my posts?
Frank
Power & Magick 2 U always,
Wiz
Power & Magick 2 U,
Wiz
Alcohol is alcohol in what ever form. Even if you have the ability to stay sober for years, one beer will start you down that long spiral anew. Just like any other substance we are predisposed to abuse. Just some advice from someone that knows a little of where you are coming from! J.B.
It's very difficult being in your shoes, i know this first hand. Using the methadone is in my book, trading one drug for the other. Your husband does need to 'want' to get better, you have that right. I also can relate to the financial aspect of your situation; i've been there many times.
I so hope that your husband will come to realize that he cannot expect to have any decent kind of life until he decides to take the big step into rehabilitating himself. Programs work for some, so i hope that when he decides he is fed up enough, he will take the appropriate steps towards sobriety. They don't hit you over the head with a magic sobriety stick, he needs to be ready to put forth much much effort and it will be a lot of work to say it lightly. Back 3-years ago, for some deranged reason, i thought that rehab was a cure-all. That people came back all brand new squeaky clean, then it would be over. Man, was I ever wrong! Like i said, the biggest step towards recovery is wanting to get clean. Nothing will work, no matter how much money it costs, until the person is ready to change their ways and their life!
I wish all the best for you, it's a horrible way to live life each and every day (I know all too well!)
Lv Jenny
SOOOOOO Many of My Posts have been deleted also. I have gone through each thread individually and most are GONE. It is so irritating.....Especially when you are asking for help or lending support and it is deleted.
Shea
I find the strength because I have no other choice. I have to keep going on for the sake of my children, although i really wonder whether I should be letting go, and moving on in order to 'save' them from this terrible life. My husband fell hard into addiction, and I soon followed. I can't blame him, we have no one to blame but ourselves, I try to be honest with my feelings. It just seems easier to deal with the pain when I'm able to 'numb' myself, although I know that in reality, I am making things much much worse (another painful feeling that I try to numb). My problems just keep compounding, and I don't know how to stop it. I've been together with my husband for over 20-years now, and I have a hard time thinking about a possible life without him, although I know i'd probably be better off. I still cannot deal with the thought, he's almost too much a part of me now. I'm a codependent through and through, learning this trait from my dad who tried to cover up my mom's drinking problem. They are excellent parents, but my mom felt the need to 'numb' herself at times, always dealing with a demon of child abuse in her painful past. They are still wonderful parents and wouldn't trade them for anything.
I am a survivor, so I have no other choice other than getting through each day best I can, trying to concentrate on my kids, making sure that they get the love they need, protecting them from harm, and just plain providing for them best I can. Their dad also loves them very much, although he has so very many unresolved issues all bundled up in his head. He grew up with two alcoholic parents, who were very young when they started having children. He has a lot of pain inside, and doesn't know how to address it, and relieve himself of his aquish!
I want to add that I don't completely write off rehabs, I think they work wonderfully if the person is willing to work the program and follow through with all the necessary steps in order to maintain sobriety. It's just that most aren't ready and willing to do what it takes to achieve full sobriety. You have to really really want it in order to succeed, there's no other way!!! Your son is still so young, and i pray that he reaches the age of understanding, and finally realizes that there is so much more to life, and that living like this is not 'living', it's surviving. It becomes a game of survival, just trying to get through each day without loosing your mind.
No addict started out saying that 'when i grow up, i want to be an addict', 'i want to flush my life down the toilet'. It's a horrible web that we get trapped in, because of things that we find we can't deal with, so we seek some sort of relief from the pain inside.
I hope that your son comes to terms with his addiction one day, and decides for himself that there is so much in life to live for, and that he knows he deserves a much better life then the one he is living. I pray this for his sake and your's.
You're a wonderful mom and you deserve a big giganic (((HUG))) for sticking by your son.
I am a mom of three beautiful children, and i do have to say, it's one thing going through this with your husband or yourself, but if i ever had to go through this with one of my children, i don't know if i could be so strong, the pain would be so horrific, I truly feel for you. This is something i hope to avoid, but another painful thought to me is, by me staying with my husband and my continuing to use, i am giving my children the amunition to be users and codependents just like me. This hurts most of all!
Good luck to you, and I really hope that your son find his way home.
Lv Jenny
I want to add that one thing you could do, and that would be to start thinking about yourself! Have you gone to any Alanon meetings, i can't remember from your previous posts.
You need to start living for yourself, and concentrate on what you want in your life and strive towards it. You've done what you can for your son, and you need to make sure that his addiction doesn't pull you right down along side him. What good will you be to him if you end up dieing from all the stress you are putting yourself through?
It is very difficult, but the time has come for you to start letting go. As awful as that sounds (and very difficult to do), the way you will be able to 'go on' will be to learn to let go.
If he doesn't want to get better, there isn't a dam thing you can say to make him want it.
It's awful I know.
I hope that you find a way to deal with your pain. I hope that you can get on with your life and start living your life for YOU!
Good luck mom!
Lv Jenny
go to advanced search.....this will give you an option to search by the numbers printed on the pill. I searched myself but didn't have much luck...the only pill I could find with the imprint of 512 was cipro. I also have a book about prescriptions and they show the picture of percocets and they are round, scored with the word Dupont (i think..my eyes