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drugs as a substitute for intamacy
by hippy, Oct 28, 2002 12:00AM
for those of us who are addicts and have abused drugs,
i was reading in my sunday paper( magzine ) section
an article on a famous tv actor. he was sharing his thoughts
on why he abused drugs, and he said it was a substatute for intamacy.
i have read that porn is a substitute for itamacy.
but i could see his point, drugs take away the
pain of lonliness, or at least mask it. i always took drugs
because it made me feel better,and it masked all my pains.
wether emotional, or mental. but drugs in the end always
cause more pain.the pain of isolation,the pain of living a secret life.the pain of living outside my own personal boundry lines.
when my wife's parents where bedridden and dyeing over a 3 year
period our love life went out the window because she was crying herself to sleep every night, because of the pain of taking care of them, and somewhere in the middle of this nightmare
i started to abuse the meds-vikes and this helped me
get past the lack of an intamate relationship with my wife during
this nightmare of a time. the vikes crushed my sex drive and i was abble to deal with the situation. in reality i just made a bad situation worse, for myself. but it helped me cope.
well they died and i finally got clean. im sure there are addicts who can relate.
i rationalized it by saying at least
i stayed true to my wife and did not find releif with another woman. looking back this is warped addict thinking.
in the article the actor talked about the courage to change.
courage is something we all need to internalize., and incorparate into our recovery.
i was reading in my sunday paper( magzine ) section
an article on a famous tv actor. he was sharing his thoughts
on why he abused drugs, and he said it was a substatute for intamacy.
i have read that porn is a substitute for itamacy.
but i could see his point, drugs take away the
pain of lonliness, or at least mask it. i always took drugs
because it made me feel better,and it masked all my pains.
wether emotional, or mental. but drugs in the end always
cause more pain.the pain of isolation,the pain of living a secret life.the pain of living outside my own personal boundry lines.
when my wife's parents where bedridden and dyeing over a 3 year
period our love life went out the window because she was crying herself to sleep every night, because of the pain of taking care of them, and somewhere in the middle of this nightmare
i started to abuse the meds-vikes and this helped me
get past the lack of an intamate relationship with my wife during
this nightmare of a time. the vikes crushed my sex drive and i was abble to deal with the situation. in reality i just made a bad situation worse, for myself. but it helped me cope.
well they died and i finally got clean. im sure there are addicts who can relate.
i rationalized it by saying at least
i stayed true to my wife and did not find releif with another woman. looking back this is warped addict thinking.
in the article the actor talked about the courage to change.
courage is something we all need to internalize., and incorparate into our recovery.
let me know where it is.
peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!michael
I hope you're doing ok...
me and my wife are very simalar in that area
always to the extreem.
peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GWH is right, if something surpresses the sex drive, the natural power of life coursing through our veins, usually that means it is not healthy for us. One exception is the ssri meds for people who are severely depressed. They do surpress sex drive, but sometimes folks needs those antidepressants and they can mean the difference between life and death. I went off prozac many years ago due to the sexual side effects, but I waited till the depression had subsided for 6 months first. I find 5 htp and SAME don't hurt my sex drive and still help the depression quite a bit.
I didn't post over the weekend 'cause my new laptop is totally frelled. It has been restored 3 times, and finally has been sent back to the manufacturer for them to figure out what is wrong. Virus scans, even the online one mrmichael suggested, said the system is free of viruses, but I've heard there are sneaky ones out there that can't be picked up by most scans. I can only get online from work now. I hope that I get my new machine back and in good working order soon! I do have an old and slow laptop that I can use if I really need to.
Happy Tuesday to everyone.
love,
WW
survive on that alone.my wife needs to be paid attention to,
and lot of affection. i think a lot of woman fall into that catagory.
my second wife and me made love everyday we were together
almost 4 years. but the relationship failed . we are still freinds, she is my sons mother.she met a guy in philly a few years ago turns out he is irish catholic six foot 2 and was in my home room in highschool. i don't know him, but i here he is a lot like me.
interesting how people are attracted to the smae types of people.
the original post said, I think..... that people used drugs as a replacement for intimacy. I definitely see that in a lot of circumstances......