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MedHelp Member's Question

Struggling pastor desperately needs healing

by carson, Nov 06, 2002 12:00AM
Please help someone. I know a man of the cloth, widely known for his music sung throughout the country and relief work around the world.Wondering if there is hope and happiness and freedom out there ( and soon ). He has been through operations and is now in year 5 of addiction to Vic 10. He wants his life back from years of depression and guilt and yet is in a very high profile position. Hates what he has become and knows the pain and scars of a secret life. Could someone help with how to get through this and preserve a marraige ( almost 20 years) and a family. Any ideas would be appreciated.
Member Comments (41)

by hippy, Nov 06, 2002 12:00AM
To: carson
read the post below by me to you.

by Starraven, Nov 06, 2002 12:00AM
To: Carson, newbies
Even though I am a newbie too..(day 35 and found the forum on day 18)We are all here to help and support you.  You will not be judged.  It doesn't matter who "he" is, or in what position or profession.  It doesn't matter if you are a millionaire or a pauper or live a public life.  We are all addicts and we stick together. Who we are and what we do doesn't make our addiction any different.  We are all the same in this aspect.  We have been there, done that and are in different stages of recovery. Read everything on this forum that you can, it WILL help!  It helped me and so many others, but we all have to WANT to help OURSELVES first.  Its like anything, you have to want to take control of your life and say.."hey, enough is enough, I want to stop this"



We are here for you, all of you going through withdrawals and the struggles of deciding to quit.



My email is ***@**** am always a good shoulder for those that need one.  



Good luck and lots of love to all

Suze

by Starraven, Nov 06, 2002 12:00AM
To: Correction
my email is ***@**** bad.



Hugs

Suze

by athena, Nov 06, 2002 12:00AM
To: starraven
Hi starraven.im not sure if I have ever posted to you before but i just wanted to let you know that your upbeat attitude and kindness to others is an asset to this forum.I hope you are doing well in the struggle to stay off hydro. Good luck and god Bless.



pixi

by gia, Nov 06, 2002 12:00AM
To: Starraven
Yes starraven you have a bright personality that shines through this forum. You make things seem like they aren't so bad.

by peaz, Nov 06, 2002 12:00AM
To: pixi
Yo Deb---what did the doc say?  Did you get the MRI results back YET???  I am posting this before I checked my e-mail, so if you already told me the answer, disregard this.  Are you in pain?  You sound like you're really being careful w/ the hydros, so I won't have to come down there......LOL  You could probably sic your guinea pig on me.  Keep in touch--Di

by Starraven, Nov 06, 2002 12:00AM
To: Pixi, Gia
What a smile the both of you have put on my face!  I have to say the same about the two of you!  Pixi, you were one of the first persons to respond to me on my first day here and that made me feel real good, because I finally could talk about being an addict!,  Gia..I posted a thank you to you for that wonderful recipe but it somehow disappeared, but I thank you.  I cut and pasted it and its in word along with the Thomas recipe!  I hope you stay with us!  If we can help one person then we are doing good! Everyone has been an inspiration to me..everyday!



This forum has helped me so much and I want to be there to help as well.



Hugs to all of you

Suze

by chrisby, Nov 06, 2002 12:00AM
Hi everyone ,day 9 from my switch from meth to buprenex i,ve already gone down from 3mg to 2.5 this seems to be going well I'm still wondering if anybody out there has detoxed through buprenex,and if so how hard and long did it last at the end?

by athena, Nov 06, 2002 12:00AM
To: peaz
Hey Lady Di,you've got mail!Almost ayear,How does it feel.I can't wait to be where you are girl!Be good and email me back when you can slow down a minute....



Hugs

Deb

by hellbent, Nov 06, 2002 12:00AM
To: carson
I know some men of the cloth and many religious individuals with drug and alcohol problems. No matter how spiritual they were or what their level of devotion, they never got sober until they found help in a 12 step group. I strongly suggest AA, especially of he has any prior drinking history.

by carson, Nov 06, 2002 12:00AM
Hi starraven and everyone. Your grace is humanity at it's best and most compassionate. What would make you care for someone who has lost the ability to love and care for himself. ( and one whom you don't know)? Can you loo me in the eye and say that you know there's freedom and joy out there. Then can you assure me that there's discretion here? What is the first step my friend ? Can someone tell me where a person would start? How bad do you need to want to be clean in order to come clean? How did Matthew Perry kick 10 vic per day? Help. Btw, I think a Christmas day time frame to be free would be great but I have Very little faith. I'm not so afraid of the sickness, but of the lack of happiness and " up" to smile around people and be someone they can find refuge and stregth in.

by Starraven, Nov 07, 2002 12:00AM
To: Carson
Its 12:20am and I just got online and read this last post of yours.  How can I love and care for a stranger that cannot love or care for himself? Because I at one point in my life didn't love or care for myself as well and I was so low I planned my own death.

My gift and sometimes my curse is such an overwhelming feeling of emphathy for others, be it humans animals ect.  I am going to continue this tomorrow as I have just begun to live life again after 34 days of sobriety and I am so tired.  I'm here for you, please stay with us.

I will write more tomorrow.

My heart goes out to you

Hugs,

Suze

by Starraven, Nov 07, 2002 12:00AM
To: Carson
ts 12:20am and I just got online and read this last post of yours.  How can I love and care for a stranger that cannot love or care for himself? Because I at one point in my life didn't love or care for myself as well and I was so low I planned my own death.

My gift and sometimes my curse is such an overwhelming feeling of emphathy for others, be it humans animals ect.  I am going to continue this tomorrow as I have just begun to live life again after 34 days of sobriety and I am so tired.  I'm here for you, please stay with us.

I will write more tomorrow.

My heart goes out to you

Hugs,

Suze

by suzieneedshelp, Nov 07, 2002 12:00AM
To: Carson
Are you stilll on?  If you want to e-mail me its ***@****.  WE all put on a charade.  Some more so than others.  My addiction is a secret in my life.  In my family, in my professional life.  This forum is safe.  These people really care.  They have all been where we are.  I am still using.  I am so concerned to hear you so sinical about the world and people.  There is an angel on your shoulder you know?   Life can be wonderful and you know it.   Addiction sucks the energy and spirit outa you.  Its a dark lonely pit from which we must scratch and crawl and climb outa.   You,. who have the tools to help others, need to help yourself.  Do you believe wut u tell others you counsel pastorally is b.s., or is it true?  You have just been so hard on yourself (as we all are) becasue you are "supposed " to be a role model as a man of the cloth.  WEll you dont need me to tell you  that is b.s..   You are just as human as any of us.  And  God loves you just as you are.  the humilatioa dn shame is very powerful.  dont let it overpower you.  Remember this is a disease and not a matter of shear will power or moral fortitude!

WEll I hope I did not seem preachy. (play on words! ha)

Best regards and pay attention to that angel on your shoulder!

Suzie

by gia, Nov 07, 2002 12:00AM
To: Carson
I doesn't matter whether you're a preacher or the president, addiction is a disease. Would you be ashamed of having cancer or the asthma? No one chooses to become an addict, but you can choose to beat it. I have yet to kick mine completely but I know that I will. The first step is that you have to be really tired of the shame, the guilt,and the enslavement by your addiction. In otherwords you have to really want a change. Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? Do you want your life back? Well if so you can get it back, you have to first stop beating yourself up, let go and just think about the future you have ahead of you. Question: Were  you happy before your addiction? If so just remember those times. If not then there is still hope because there is treatment for depression and anxiety  other than hydro. Remember another thing, you really can't trust your thoughts right now. They are lies because you are not well. The abuse has clouded our minds and causes us to make many mistakes like rationalizing our abuse, making excuses, and thinking we are strong enough to handle this on our own. our brain is lying and tricking us while we are sick. It is making us feel depressed and hopless when in reality there is a light at the end of the tunnel. This too shall pass just like everything else in our life does. If you make too much of this and make it seem like the biggest shameful thing you have ever been through, then it will be. Just think of it as an illness that you just need to take a little time off to tend to. Once you get past the withdrawal and your brain chemistry gets right again, then you can decide if your life is so awful, or if it was just the hydro  telling you it was, then WE can go from there. You are not alone and people kick their addictions all the time, so why are we any different. So tell me, what led you to hydro, was it anything emotional because if so you can start dealing with that. It was for me and I am working on changing my thinking and it is helping me realize drugs are not the way to live. Drugs only allow you to exist in this world. Draw on your faith, turn it over to the Lord. Can you take some time off to withdraw? Read the DR. bob recipe that I posted earlier, it should help with the withdrawal process. I am on hydro and I am determined to get off. Just be prepared to feel like **** for a while but remember you are suffering for a cause, TO GET YOUR LIFE BACK! Just pretend like you got the flu, that is what I do. Let me know how you do. My email is ***@**** if you need to talk.