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MedHelp Member's Question

why has narcotics taken over?

by farbeyondriven, Dec 06, 2002 12:00AM
Tags: Addiction
I have been takin all kinds of different type of pain meds ...for pain and pleasure ...  Im 26 male with a good life great girlfriend and job...im a soux chef at acountry club and i enjoy the sport of bodybuilding ... i have been taken anything from hydro's to oxy's whatever i can find i get ..  i never exceed over 100mg's to 120mgs of whatever drug i have in body ..I feel that i need to quit cause its changing me and my life now the fun is turned into a battle inside my head ..i hate it i want to get out ... i have been takin pain meds for over 6 months know ..but not a evrytday thing only when i can get them i eat them all day long sometimes for a week or sometimes a few days ...i have experienced withdrawls to a less degree then what i have read people go threw ...i want to quit but i don't ... its causing a impact on my once perfect relationship ... and this last 2 months it has been evryday habit ... im spending all of my hard earned money on pills ... just the word it self i hate it !  i need to get my self staright ..please help me out   is there a out ???
Member Comments (36)

by theGolden1, Dec 06, 2002 12:00AM
To: FarbeyondDriven
Twenty six years old? Wow ... I have kids your age. Here's a tip. Find out how to enjoy yourself for real. In the old days it was called "good clean fun" ... someday, when you are alot older, you'll be so happy that you took care of your body and your brain. Right now ... you will need to get some serious help to stop. I suggest going to a narcotic's anonymous meeting. Start working on yourself. Read everything on this board and keep coming here everyday .... you'll make it if you really want to. Good Luck to you .... Goldie

by southernbelle, Dec 06, 2002 12:00AM
To: farbeyonddriven
i just wanted you to know i am thinking about you.  this sort of life really sucks, but you are not alone.  remember that --- you aren't alone.  stick around this site.....it helps.  see a doc and be completely honest.  i wish the best for you, i really do.

by southernbelle, Dec 06, 2002 12:00AM
To: Everyone / All
doc visit was okay.  just prescribed antidepressants, all that stuff.  i'll be on three different things.  i'm miserable, though.  i just feel like everything sucks.  because it really does.  i can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, guys.  it all seems so hopeless.  i'm doing my best to use my intellect and NOT my heart/emotions.  my emotions are a wreck, and i'm feeling mad as hell and sad as hell at the same time.  i wish i had a percocet to take.  please don't be mad at me for saying that.  but, it really would help me right now.  you guys have all been so helpful to me, you'll never know.  BUT -- have any of you felt the same way?  is anybody out there truly familiar with my feelings right now?  i feel like i'm dying inside.  i want to find a hole and crawl inside and hide away.

by Witchywoman, Dec 06, 2002 12:00AM
To: Southernbelle
Southernbelle, I felt that way all the time when I was using, and for a while even after I stopped, when my brain chemistry was so depleted of feel good neurotransmitters that I just wanted to die.



Did the Psychiatrist recommend or offer you therapy as well? It's not for everyone, but therapy has helped me emensely. I am a therapist, so maybe I'm biased, but to have someone to talk to, who is not going to judge me, who I can tell anyone to, and who helps me identify and change the habits of thinking that kept me depressed was a huge help.



Please don't give up. Yes, I often felt like I wanted a pill. Guess what...even after over a year clean, on a bad day, I still sometimes think "only one pill would make me feel so much better now", but I know what road that leads down.



You can and will feel better.  Are you excersizing? Don't underestimate its power.



Hang in there and let us know how you are doing.

love,

WW

by southernbelle, Dec 06, 2002 12:00AM
To: witchywoman
you are so sweet. she did recommend therapy.  i actually see her again next week.  i like her.  maybe in the future i'll be able to completely open up to her and tell her everything.  i'll have to develop some trust before that.  if i tell her everything, does she have to report me?  am i "tagged" as a druggie or anything?  i'm afraid of that.  i live in georgia.  i don't even know the controlled substance laws in my state.  if you or anybody else does, i'd appreciate some info. on that.  thanks for all your support.  the only comfort i have right now is that i am not alone and that i can come to this wonderful place and talk to the likes of you.....you're a doll.  you're handle is neat...are you a wicca or something?  just asking.....i've had it wwith christianity and just about every other religion.  this site isn't about that, though....so i'll stick to the real topic.  my email is ***@**** if you ever need anything or would like to talk.  love ya, mean it.

by Witchywoman, Dec 06, 2002 12:00AM
To: Southernbelle
No, she can't report you for disclosing drug abuse.  The only thing she is legally mandated to report is if you are in danger of harming yourself via suicide or harming someone else. She is also required to report child or elder abuse.  But there is no mandating reporting of drug abuse, nor any law enforcement agency that waits for such reports. She will just want to help you, and honesty is was kills the power addiction has over us. Honesty is one of the many tools in our arsenal to combat addiction.



Yep, I'm a Wiccan Priestess. If you want to know more, write to me at ***@****  

You can also go to www.witchvox.com  they  have a lot of good info and many links. I'll give you the link to my sight, but offline, if you write me. I don't push it on anyone but will happily help people who want to know more how to find out more. Sometimes folks in my religion are very secretive and it can be hard to learn. There are many good books out there as well, "The Spiral Dance" by Starhawk is my favorite.



love,

WW

by hellbent, Dec 06, 2002 12:00AM
To: farbey
I'm an athlete, and like lifting too. I originally started getting vikes for a shoulder surgery. This was when I was sober, as I had a major ass drinking problem earlier in life. Well, I fell in love with opiates. they seemed perfect: No hangover, I could take a few vikes after playing ball and lifting and I would feel incredibly good. This lasted a little while...



4-5 years later I was 60 lbs overweight, almost dead, and taking 800mgs a day of OC's. I nearly lost my life. I was two weeks away from homelessness at my habit and I had to find a way out.



Anyway, these things are the big lie. There is no way I will ever be able to use them in any responsible fashion, no way they will ever improve my life for any appreciable amount of time. They take everything.



So, you've made s atep coming here and posting. Your habit will get worse and so will your life, take it from me. There is a way out, though it's not easy, it is worth it. I've been clean almost 7 months and my life is utterly changed. how are you planning to quit?

by southernbelle, Dec 06, 2002 12:00AM
To: witchywoman
how cool --- i will definitely be emailing you soon.  you seem so very nice and caring.  i am so glad it's Friday --- it's been a long, rough week.  i'm exhausted.  my heart aches, my body aches, my soul aches.  this is hell.  i feel so so so yucky.  thanks for caring.  look for an email from me soon.  thanks so much!  love to everybody.

by Jennibean, Dec 06, 2002 12:00AM
To: Everyone HELP!!!!
Hi, I am new to this site but not new to this horrid addiction thing. I have been using narcotic pain medication for 3 years now on and off but mostly on. I just went through a 5 day inpatient detox in the beginning of October but am currently using again. I cannot seem to get through the third week, I am sick as a dog and the day I finally wake up and feel good is the day I always relapse. I also have a huge problem because I need surgery. I was scheduled for surgery this past Tuesday and I was so scared that I got off the operating table, all the surgeons were scrubbed in and I was hooked up to all my monitors and they were strapping me to the table. I have never been wheeled into an operating room awake, they usually give me something to make me woozy as they are pushing me in there and by the time I get there I am so out of it that I don't care but this time they didn't and I freaked. I am also afraid of this surgery because I had surgery in August and the surgeon accidentally cut through my bladder and uterus and I had severe infection which almost killed me after. This surgery is now to go in my pelvis and remove severe adhesions again, just had that done in August as well but they are back, I also have a huge cyst on my right ovary and they were going to do a hysterectomy this time. I am terrified but in constant pain, the thing is surgery is usually the worst thing for adhesions as my adhesions were caused by surgery and can only be removed by surgery...AHH no good options. I have decided several times that I would just get off the pills and suffer with the pain but the pain always becomes my excuse to relapse again. I really need to decide what I am doing here. I am 31 and a stay at home mom to two beautiful baby girls. I love them and they need me, I feel like these pills are slowly killing me. Luckily right now I am on oxyfast which has no tylenol or I would have probably died of liver failure already. When I detoxed in October I was coming off of 160mg of oxycontin and 32 percocet a day. I will never again take oxy as it is so long acting coming off of it is pure HELL! I am such a wimp when it comes to withdrawal but when talking to other poepel I know my body reacts worse than some. I get every single withdrawal symptom under the sun and the retless legs, arms and insomina alone are enough to make me want to die. Not to mention the weeks of absolutely no energy, I can't even get off teh couch usually and my family is really sick of dealing with this. They do not even know how much I am using again and my husband is naive and thinks because my new medication is liquid it is different, well it's not it is straight oxycodone and I am taking the equvilant of 40 percocet a day right now! yikes gonna be sick. Anyway I have been reading about this Thomas recipe, does it really work? And if so what symptoms does it help? I really need something to stop the restless leg and insomnia I can handle the diarrhea although I currently have two tears in my rectum from the oxycodone being so constipating so that might even hurt terribly. I am a mess and I need help. In my state we are lucky to be one of the few that have pills anonomous meetings and thet help so much when you actually go. Because most people are like me and have never had an addiction problem until accidentally getting hooked in the beginning after surgery, I wish I knew then what I know now and I would have never danced with this devil. I never thought it could happen to me, I thought addiction was a crock and that people just needed to decide to stop taking their drugs. Boy was I wrong! Anyway I woudl really like to join in on this december taper with everyone. But of course I currently have the I'll start tomorrow attitude going. I wish I had the courage to have the surgery and be in horrible pain for a few weeks with the hope of being much better after that but I could end up worse again instead. I am also worried about the pain relief in the hospital after, I know they were going to use a morphine pump but you know they aren't going to give me the amount I take at home and the pain after abdominal surgery is awful. But I suppose I desrve to go through that anyway. I don't want to do this anymore it is killing my spirit. Each time I detox the depression is worse and severe but I can no longer look away from the things I am doing now, I have learned to quiet that little voice in my head that tells me I am doing wrong just long enough to suck down my medication and then well it's too late. I am watching the damn clock all day waiting for 4 hours to come. It makes me sick to think that most people would die taking 50mg at one time and I can barely feel it anymore and after about 2 hours I am already wishing I could take it again. I feel like I have started having seizures when I am sleeping, I wake up but can't move and my brain and jaw and eyes are trembling and shaking what do you think that is? Anyone had that? Anyway I am glad to be here, I really think if anyone can do this I can, I don't even drink I have never done drugs and I am not a lifelong addict thsi is just a set back and learning experience in my life and I intend to use it that way. I hope that after some careful thought tonight I will be posting my accept message tomorrow and start the taper with some of you. But I will not say I accept until I am sure I am not going to let myself down again. I need to be strong and find other ways to deal with my pain. I am going to start right now by calling my Dr and asking if there is any other non narcotic pain medication that might help. And express my desire to stop using narcotics. But I hope they understand I will still need it to taper. Again please tell me what the Thomas recipe helps with specifically or tell me where I can find that info. Thanks to anyone who made it this far! I am sorry for be