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Thanks especially to Cindy and Dr. Horvath for incurring the expense (and the headaches)here. I hope our struggles are of value to you in some way.
Will not be spending Christmas eve or day here, so just wanted to say "hang tough everyone"! May God's Greatest Gift touch you this season.
Rex
I wish everybody a Merry Christmas. It's so sad, but right now, the best Christmas present I could get would be a bottle of percocet. Isn't that sad/sick/morbid? Lord help me....
Anyway, I just wanted to let everybody know I love you and believe in you. You aren't alone at all. You are each so special and wonderful. I hope that doesn't sound too corny, because I mean it. I love each of you.
merry christnas too yoo and yours .
i hope you are feeligng well.
life is good, alway nice to see you posting.
yes thomas is quiet the entertainer with all his experence.
and humor, he is a gift to us all.
all his posting for this month is like a christmas gift.
i fing joy in the simple things in life ,like thomas's post
or a good chapter in a book, a funny joke. a good movie.
or just a smile on a child's face.
im so crazy i just love the sunshine in the morning with a cup of coffee.
peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hippy/ michael
I phoned the psychologist like i said i would and told her about my stopping some of my meds and my intentions to also stop the benzos. Managed to get an appointment this morning. When i got to the clinic, surprise...surprise...was also included at the meeting ... the psychiatrist who had started me on these drugs 7 yrs ago.
Well, you can imagine that all i saw were long faces and all i heard was *Do not stop your meds!*. Seemed like an intervention but to keep on drugs instead of stopping them...geezzzzz!
I explained to them that i was feeling much less depressed the last 6 months and that was why i had decided to stop anti-depressants. (Never was suicidal or anything...just real depressed a while back.) These drugs had helped me back then but i feel much stronger inside today.
Never did get the chance to talk about stopping the benzos. They lectured me on how important it was to stay on ALL my precribed drugs and so on. They also said that they would lose thier patient-doctor confidence if i refused to continue drug therapy. Actually i found this meeting so morose that i broke down and cried right there. (I'm usually real good at hiding my feelings.) Didn't feel as strong when i left that office.
The good thing is that they agreed to my suggestion about seeing a therapist twice a week and i will begin mid-january.
Sooooo....ima gonna go see that therapist. I have no intention of getting back on anti-depressants and i also hope to wean myself off the triple dose benzos without their knowledge. I want to be drug free and find out why i so much like the opiate feeling and what it is that i'm am really trying to *fix* with them. (Gonna start tapering my benzos starting january.)
It seems kinda weird. I've got to *pretend* i'm taking drugs and meanwhile, with the aid of a therapist who thinks i'm medicated, try to find out about my inner self and why i like them in the first place. Weird...really...weird.
Maybe i'm crazy, maybe i'm not, maybe i should be nuts...maybe it would help!
Take care Mister Thomas,
Whippet
jk just some money would be nice
I hope I didn't repell you by telling you about my Buddhist inclinations. I think -- if man is even capable of apprehending the nature of God -- that different faiths are simply a view of God from different mountain tops. Of course, culture and history are part of it, too. But in essense, I believe that if we're really seeing God, we're all focused on the same God. It simply doesn't make sense that, if the one true creator of the Universe made him/herself known on Earth, it wouldn't absolutely compell everyone's attention the world over. Just different vantage points, that's all. Merry Christmas, my friend!
Thomas
Thomas
Thomas
Thomas
you have me thinking agian, about the god thing
and religion,one of my favorit books on the subject
is aldous huxley's perenial philosphy a book about the beleif
of one god. i also love his doors of perception and heaven and hell.
speaking of phplosphy and religion nietzche was the son of a minister, nietzsche wrote a beautiful book on the passion and death of christ, then went crazy and killed himself writeing
a book on the anti-christ.
well just some thoughts , on to more festev thoughts on this
christmas morn i hope everyone here at the fourm has an enjoyable day, with famly and freinds
i hope everyone get what they want for christmas.
a pain free and restfull day would be a nice gift for all.
as far as gifts my wife has given me the bible on cd by a man named mac mclane a man with a sheakspearian voice truely a joy to listen to.
after being married for 13 years me and my wife have given each other just about everything over the years. so now i just have to give her time and affection.
one of the sad thing s in my lfe during this day is my one sister
is married to a palistianin form jordan and my wife is jewish
this religious difference has put a unhappy wedge between our relation ship. hopefully one day she will look past these
differences. i know i do.
let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.
to take each moment and lve each moment in perfect harmony.
love ya all hippy
It's been said by far more intelligent people than I, but if we perpetrate some sort of pogrom against Arabs and Arab-Americans, we will only be confirming the things Bin Ladin says about our nature and intentions. Kennedy said it best, " ... our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this small planet, we all breath the same air, we all cherish our children's future, and we are all mortal."
And about Huxley. I'm still pissed that the real Soma doesn't live up to the Soma in Brave New World. I'm disgruntled!
Thomas
being half jewish, my sons mother was also jewish.
what can i say they act like the problems in israel
are my wifes fault.knowing a little about history
i realize that the arabs are getting the short end of the stick
in the west bank , and that they had there land taken from them back in the 1950's. but i consider myself and famly american.
im sure as you have read ,one of my biggest beleifs is setting aside our differences and coming together as equals for all
people.
besides being a bi-polar nut /active alcoholic/and a rightwing
religious christian nut, my sister beleives america deserved
what we got on 911. so to say the least she is impossible.
her husband is PLO and hates anything that has to do with
israel or jewish people.
to me hate, raceism, and bigotry are acids that destroy
the jar that holds them.
i will continue to be kind and considerate as long as my brotherin law does not touch or hurt my wife or kids.
if that was to happen i would be compled to do a jimmy hoffa
on him, without any remorse at all. my sister knows me and realizes that is not a threat, just reality.
joy to the world ha ha ha. hippy
i looked it up and right under it at amozon .com
was other books to reakd, jack kerouac-on the road
which i remember is being great.
and hunter thomsons books, speaking of him ,
i have freind who is a ski instructor in denver and he lives
next door to hunter thomson on the side of some mountian
and my freind is and useing buddie who stops over to get drunk with hunter who he says is a real nut , who gets loaded
and shoots his guns at the moon.
Thomas
Also, did you know that once Hunter Thomson signed a copy of his book for a fan by putting a .45 slug through it. Innovative. Cool in a Hunteresque way ...
Thomas