Hey buddy. Just wanted to let you know I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  Hang in there, and keep posting.  You've helped SO many people here; just don't forget we're here to help and support you also.  Hope you work through your spring "feverAllergic rhinitis
Coccidioidomycosis
Febrile seizures
Fever
Fever and children
Fever blister
Fever blisters and canker sores
Herpes labialis (oral herpes simplex)
Histoplasmosis
Malaria
Rheumatic fever" cravings. We all love ya here, and will be here for you if you want to vent.  Love and thinking of ya, Lisabet

hey, hang in there! i know what you are talking about... i can be okay for relatively long periods of time and then all of a sudden, like last night, WANT to alter myself... but i did do that "cost analysis" thing the doc was talking about...



today i know unequivecably (sp) where i will end up if i give in to the thoughts of using that will from time to time plague me... but that has not always stopped me...



i get this thought that says "you know you are going to do it sooner or later, you know you always do, you are a junkie, c'mon, go ahead..." i don't even kid myself that i can use once in awhile. i know that if i start using i will at some point fall into addicitve using... obsessing over the drugsChemical dependence - resources
Chemotherapy
Drug abuse
Drug abuse and dependence
Drug abuse first aid
Drug allergies
Drug induced hypertension
Drug rash on the back
Drug rash, tegretol
Drug signs and teenagers
Drug-induced hypertension until i finally am backBack pain - low
Back strain treatment on the train...



this is why i am interested in what this doc here is talking about with smart recoveryRecovery position - series and R.E.B.T. i see another way to understand myself and my drugChemical dependence - resources
Chemotherapy
Drug abuse
Drug abuse and dependence
Drug abuse first aid
Drug allergies
Drug induced hypertension
Drug rash on the back
Drug rash, tegretol
Drug signs and teenagers
Drug-induced hypertension use that i hadn't been aware of before so i am going to give myself a chance today...



just posting this gives makes me feel that much more determined... the war isn't over but i have won a few battles...



amber

Thanks for helping us and giving real answers to questions.  Pammy

Hey everyone, checking in.  



Hang in there hippee....I'm trying to also.  Someone called me and told me then can get me 80mg oxy's and I said NO THANK YOU!!



I got up and made breakfast for the little one today.  Granted it was frozenFrozen shoulder pancakes, but that is better then cereal.  Last night me and the girls took a walk up to the store....it is so beautiful today.



I'm actually glad I am quitting now in the nice weather, b/c the cold, damp, dreary days seem to make w/d 100X's worse.  Tomorrow is my littlest one's 2nd birthday, and the oldest one's is the 14th.  I am hoping to be just about off this **** by the time their party is, which is on the 18th...so I will be on here looking for inspiration.



We really need to find a chat room...lol

I'm so sorry to hear your going through a rough time right now. You are always here for all of us and please remember we are all here for you.

Its hard to think we can all go on without ever wanting it again, but you are a strong person. With a smart headHead and face reconstruction
Head injury
Head lice
Indications of head injury
Radial head injury on your shoulders shoulders intensive treatment
Shoulder arthroscopy
Shoulder pain. You will get through this. Im here to talk if you need me.

Luv--------------------Erika

This is an excellent thread. I have been plauged by thoughts of getting a buzz, and this is just what I needed to remind me.



Thanks Doc, and all.



BurnAirway burn
Burn, blister - close-up
Burn, thermal - close-up
Burns
Burns - resources
Eye burning - itching and discharge
First degree burn
Gastroesophageal reflux disease
Heartburn
Heartburn prevention
Minor burn - first aid - series

thanks to everyone , its now  like  9pm

the doc gave a nice long response, my thanks go's out.

i do disagree with one thing he said about powerlessness.

i am of the mind that i am not powerless over people places and things, but i am powerless over my reactionAllergic reactions
Allergic reactions to medication
Dermatitis, reaction to tinea
Drug allergies
Febrile/cold agglutinins
Insect bite reaction - close-up
Intradermal allergy test reactions
Positive reaction to allergen
Transfusion reaction to them.

sort of like if i drank 3 cups of coffee at 6pm , i am powerless

over the fact that i will be up all night.

if i took a few gulps of exlax , i am powerless over my reactionAllergic reactions
Allergic reactions to medication
Dermatitis, reaction to tinea
Drug allergies
Febrile/cold agglutinins
Insect bite reaction - close-up
Intradermal allergy test reactions
Positive reaction to allergen
Transfusion reaction

of shiting myself all night.

i beleive i am powerless over addictionDrug abuse and dependence, where is addictionDrug abuse and dependence?

it is inside of me, thus i am powerless over what is going on inside of me.

im powerless over me, i am the problem. things have gotten better

as i have matured in certian areas, but most of all i have learned who i am and what my boundries are, like driving in the car with my wife, she had a bad habit of really leaning on the car horn at people for the dumb things they may have done driving

, she did this when i was in the car  and i said to her, please

don't lean on your horn at people when i am in the car with you.

you really are going to upset some body, like a guy who will

probley start caling you a f-in whatever and i do not want to get into a brawl, she said to me " why , don't you have any recoveryRecovery position - series" , i said i am powerless over what i will do in that situation, with some guy getting out of his car and cursing

you to high heavens, my reactionAllergic reactions
Allergic reactions to medication
Dermatitis, reaction to tinea
Drug allergies
Febrile/cold agglutinins
Insect bite reaction - close-up
Intradermal allergy test reactions
Positive reaction to allergen
Transfusion reaction would be to get out of the car and  give him a time magazine beating.

so my recoveryRecovery position - series IS TO KNOW THAT I HAVE TO STAY OUT OF SITUATIONS LIKE THAT , that is recoveryRecovery position - series for me to know who i am, and not drive in my wifes car , if she is going to beep at people like some kind of nut.

i know who i am and i stay out of possible violent situations.

i grew up in the hood as the only white kid for years and

had to sreet fight my way through life for many years on a daily BASIS

, sexBuccal smear
Causes of sexual dysfunction
Child abuse - sexual
Delayed ejaculation
Erection problems
Female sexual dysfunction
Inhibited sexual desire
Orgasmic dysfunction
Puberty and adolescence
Rape
Safe sex , drugsChemical dependence - resources
Chemotherapy
Drug abuse
Drug abuse and dependence
Drug abuse first aid
Drug allergies
Drug induced hypertension
Drug rash on the back
Drug rash, tegretol
Drug signs and teenagers
Drug-induced hypertension and violence were very big parts of my addictionDrug abuse and dependence, i got high from stomping the **** out of someone  who

was asking for it. mind ya, i never started a fight, only finished them. i was 6 '3  210 pounds and could run 10 miles a day, sreet fighting and gang fighting were part of life.

with all the rage i had as an addict , i was a walking time bomb.

in my heartCongenital heart disease
Cor pulmonale
Coronary heart disease
Cyanotic heart disease
Depression and heart disease
Heart attack
Heart attack first aid
Heart attack symptoms
Heart bypass surgery
Heart bypass surgery - series
Heart disease i am non-violent, but i still have to stay out of my wifes car when she drives, so i don't get locked up for being stupid,  i have learned when i react like that i find that there is no thinking involved, i just react.

my father used to come and bail me out of jail , after a week

long run and he would say, you have a wife and kids you were clean for a while, why did you use . diden't you think.

i would say no i did not think , i saw some guy, he said yo , i got the goods , and i would say HOW MUCH!, with out so much as a thought , it was an automatic reactionAllergic reactions
Allergic reactions to medication
Dermatitis, reaction to tinea
Drug allergies
Febrile/cold agglutinins
Insect bite reaction - close-up
Intradermal allergy test reactions
Positive reaction to allergen
Transfusion reaction.

then i would go home to an empty house, with no wife , she would leave, and there was an empty sandbox in the yard.

the life of  young  angry useing addict was  a nightmare.



im powerless what my internal reactionAllergic reactions
Allergic reactions to medication
Dermatitis, reaction to tinea
Drug allergies
Febrile/cold agglutinins
Insect bite reaction - close-up
Intradermal allergy test reactions
Positive reaction to allergen
Transfusion reaction is to things and people, but on the outside , i do have a choice.

the inside problem is a spititual problem, by practicing

some spititual principles like surrender, and acceptance

i have chance for some divine intervention, by a power greater then myself who performs miricles in my life. which i choose to call god, the anonymous diety.



peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HIPPY

SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE, it has been a hectic day,

hippee - loved your post - sounds like you're working through things. You always have comments that really makes one think.  (just stay out of the car with your wife....) - smile...You are totally correct, you ARE 100% in control with your thoughts and feelings, and 100% NOT in control with other things, such as the shits, whatever...smile.  I appreciate your acceptance of such, in your concept of livingAdvanced care directives your life.  SO simple, yet so complicated...as we all are.  Growing up in a life of violence, it takes a strong person to try to go in a different direction, and live life as a decent, caring person. I respect you emormously for taking that less traveled road. You've obviously learned from past mistakes; there's a lot of people (HELLO....) ha---that hasn't been as smart! But, you know, I'm learning, from people such as yourself.  Respect/Love, Lisabet

thanks , YOUR KINDNESS ABOUNDS



your goodness  shines here at the fourm.

we reap what we sow, and you have nice harvest

coming your way.

i hope you are well, you sound like you doing really good.



peace!!!!!!!!!!HIPPY

FirstFirst progesterone mc10
First progesterone mc5
First-progesterone vgs 200
First-progesterone vgs 400..Dr. you are awesome in your depth of responses!  Your knowledge is evident. I can tell you truley care about what you convey and about us!  TY!  I have been largely absent since you arrived but hold this place close to my heartCongenital heart disease
Cor pulmonale
Coronary heart disease
Cyanotic heart disease
Depression and heart disease
Heart attack
Heart attack first aid
Heart attack symptoms
Heart bypass surgery
Heart bypass surgery - series
Heart disease because it helped me tremendously 7 months ago and got me to where i am today with the help of God, Inpatient, my program, AA, NA, my sponsor and those who i met here!  Now i have 60 plus days clean.  I would highly reccommend inpatient Rehab to anyone who can get it.  It saved my life!  I really found after trying on my own that no i cannot do it on my own as so many millions have discovered.



***Dear DEar Hippee...You are always in my prayers.  You are one of the most special heartsCongenital heart disease
Cor pulmonale
Coronary heart disease
Cyanotic heart disease
Depression and heart disease
Heart attack
Heart attack first aid
Heart attack symptoms
Heart bypass surgery
Heart bypass surgery - series
Heart disease on here and you constantly give to everyone unselfishly.  You reflect truley unconditional love in your open giving to those of us suffering out here.  Plz know that so many are praying and plz call me if you need or e-mail and just vent.  

I Love you my friend!

Suzie

CONGRATS---CONGRATS---CONGRATS---On 60 days clean!!!!  I am SO-SO proud of you.  As you said to hippie, you may not realize it, but you ALSO are one of the special ones who have always given your time and experiences and unconditional love, in spite of your addictionDrug abuse and dependence and your painAbdominal pain
Abdominal pain diagnosis
Acupuncture and pain
Ankle pain
Anterior knee pain
Back pain - low
Bone pain or tenderness
Breast pain
Causes of painful intercourse
Chest pain
Chronic pain - resources.  Your compassion and love always shine thru.  You have no idea of the lifes you've touched....I know, 'cause I'm one of them!!!!!  Keep the love shining through, sweetheart.  I love your sweet heartCongenital heart disease
Cor pulmonale
Coronary heart disease
Cyanotic heart disease
Depression and heart disease
Heart attack
Heart attack first aid
Heart attack symptoms
Heart bypass surgery
Heart bypass surgery - series
Heart disease, Lisabet  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

You sound so good ... I agree with you as far as the 12 step program is concerned. It is hard for anyone to take the firstFirst progesterone mc10
First progesterone mc5
First-progesterone vgs 200
First-progesterone vgs 400 step unless they believe in a higher power. That would be uh ... God. For many people there is no God. They are their own "higher power" and they fail at self control over and over. Trying to be "cool" or whatever is just an another ego thing. I see the program as completely spiritual. In this realm we are "saved by grace, after all we can do". An attitude of gratitude is a sure thing. It keeps us out of trouble. Rock on Dude .... Goldie

Errr, Golden. Hello? Some here accpet God; some don't. Regardless, this is a Rational RecoveryRecovery position - series Board. You are, imho, incorrect about "having" to accept God to be able to leadLead poisoning a good life w/o dope. Accepting God as yr higher power is not the way for all addicts. It may be the way for you or even for me, but blanket statements can be equated to, "I will never _______." (Fill in the blank.) (Heck, even those taking standardized tests are warned to avoid generalizedGeneralized anxiety disorder ass u mptions as your post stated.)



rwc~

I couldn't agree more.

unfortunatly,many followers and true believers of the

great religions of the world have little tolerance for those who

do not share thier own specific beliefs.

this intoleranceCeliac disease - sprue
Gestational diabetes
Lactose intolerance seems to have intensified over the last hundred years. on many fronts ,religion has SEVERD ITS TIES TO

SPIRITUALTY, AND COMPASSION IS LOSING THE BATTLE AGINST

PREJUDICE.

the one thing  i love about the 12 step programs is it is a spiritual program and not a religious one.

the program teaches that there is a power grater then ourselves

we call a higher power, by seting aside a differences and comeing together as equals, we are able to focus on spiritual

principles, and distance ourselves from our own self centered idloatry, where we play god through our minipulation to get drugsChemical dependence - resources
Chemotherapy
Drug abuse
Drug abuse and dependence
Drug abuse first aid
Drug allergies
Drug induced hypertension
Drug rash on the back
Drug rash, tegretol
Drug signs and teenagers
Drug-induced hypertension

by useing and abuseing everyone and everything in our lives.

i have to say that at least in our area the program "says" it is a spiritual, not religious program but those appear at times to just be words...



look at step 2 and step 3...



came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity...



made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of GOD...



it always really irked me that this "GOD" was always referred to as "he"... sounded pretty churchy to me... but it did work for me for a long time even though my "GOD" is a girl...



and if you go to an AA meeting you can really feel the religious vibe there... i know that AA has the chapter to the agnostic but i just don't know about all that... sounds good but...



i am hoping like hell to find another way other than the twelve steps... i can still use the principles behind the twelve steps but no longer subscribe to them in there entirty (sp)



amber

The survival statistics as of 20 years ago were one in 35. In AA we were told that only one person in thirty-five will live. The rest will die of alcoholismAlcoholism
Alcoholism - resources. (accident, cirrhosisCirrhosis
Cirrhosis of the liver
Liver cirrhosis, ct scan
Primary biliary cirrhosis, etc)I don't know if there has been any changes and I don't know what the statistics are in NA (for drugChemical dependence - resources
Chemotherapy
Drug abuse
Drug abuse and dependence
Drug abuse first aid
Drug allergies
Drug induced hypertension
Drug rash on the back
Drug rash, tegretol
Drug signs and teenagers
Drug-induced hypertension addcition) ... but that's what I meant when I said we are saved by "grace" after all we can do. No matter what program we use, there is no guarantee and if we are one of the lucky ones ....well, thats what I call "grace". Also ... I do not have a problem with refering to my higher power as "God". I am NOT pushing any particular religion. I do think that it a necessary part of recoveryRecovery position - series. But, this is just my opinion. It works for me. My husband has been sober in AA for 25 years. I have been in more 12 step programs than I care to say .. but everyone must do their own thing.  After all ... what do I know? I'm looking for answers and just trying to be honest sorry if it wasn't clearClear by design
Clear eyes
Clear eyes acr
Clear eyes clr .... Goldie

OK. No problem. I misinterpreted your message because to quote you, these were your words:

(paste)

"It is hard for anyone to take the firstFirst progesterone mc10
First progesterone mc5
First-progesterone vgs 200
First-progesterone vgs 400 step unless they believe in a higher power. That would be uh ... God."

(end paste)



Apologies if I misunterstood your message that I pasted here.



rwc~

MajorMajor tears
Major-con league curiosity is piqued by your repitition of A/A's stats of 1/35 "livingAdvanced care directives through addictionDrug abuse and dependence." That's Barely 3% of people who attend meetings that will live?



I garner 2 things from this message: 1. It is false. 2. We all die anyhoo.



Seriously though, these statistics are from? and they can be proved how?



rwc~

That's what they told us! Of coarse that was backBack pain - low