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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
This community is a place to share information and support with others who are trying to stop using drugs, prescription drugs, alcohol, tobacco or other addictive substances. Discuss with others, the symptoms of addiction, addiction recovery, ways to quit like tapering and cold turkey, and withdrawal symptoms. If you are interested in general "chat", please visit our Addiction Social Community.
getting honest.....
by AmberHunter, May 03, 2003 12:00AM
just going to start like this: last night i drank... we are having a big music festival here and i was feeling festive and decided to have a beer and two shots of jager... i started to feel guilty and then had to remind myself that i am not in NA picking up chips anymore... but i did feel like i owed it to this forum to be honest... so there it is...
it was not much fun, it was even less fun this morning and i don't feel like repeating it tonight but it kind of scares me... i don't want to go back to where i was but i don't seem to have ever been successful in recreational use of ANYTHING... but i am not going to beat myself up over this, not much anyhow!
doc, am i gonna be okay??? get out your crystal ball and tell me!!!
amber
it was not much fun, it was even less fun this morning and i don't feel like repeating it tonight but it kind of scares me... i don't want to go back to where i was but i don't seem to have ever been successful in recreational use of ANYTHING... but i am not going to beat myself up over this, not much anyhow!
doc, am i gonna be okay??? get out your crystal ball and tell me!!!
amber
Like you said, don't beat yourself up over this. I'm sorry I do not know your story to comment any further. I think it's great that you came here with your truth.
Be good to yourslef.
Burn
anyhow, i had posted down in another thread that if there were any of you that wanted an additional forum to chat in to contact me by email: ***@****...
thanks for being there burn, i was so happy to see that i had gotten a response!
amber
Regards,
Thomas050
I'm a recovering alcoholic too, and have been in AA for over a decade. Last night I drank 3 beers, and could hardly choke them down. I did it because I wanted to get a little buzz, and have a little fun. Didn't happen. No fun at all. I think the guilt you are suffering is from all of the NA/AA conditioning. I know that's how it was for me.
Please be good and kind to yourself, you're not evil for having a few drinks. Last night is over with, today is a new day.
I will contact you later through the email you set up.
Burn
so burn, you think the guilt is from NA/AA conditioning? i am not terribly guilty but i am not sure if i am "supposed" to feel guilty... too much mental masturbation going on in my head today! email me!
amber
Burn
just try to stay clean, and continue whwere you were,
, don't make a mountian out of a mole hill.
pick up a na basic text and read the chapters RECOVERY
AND RELASP AMF JUSY FOR TODAY
KEEP YOUR HEAD UP /
PEACE!!!HIPPY
I want to ask a question from those of you with experience with METHADONE. Enough people here? and, Will I get responses if I post as a "comment" rather than a "question"?
Yes you can start a topic, and yes you will get some great feedback here. Best to start a new thread though, as it does not really fit under this topic. You are unable to start a new topic? You should be able to if you registered and have your password (and if you are able to post replies I assume you are). If you can't and would like I will start it for you.
Regards,
Thomas050
PS, to all, thanks for the above posts. It really does help to talk to people who can relate.
and it is hard to start a new thread, i had tried many, many times before i started this one, it always told me basically that it was closed for the day, lol!
thanks all for your posts to me, i feel better actually... not obsessing over having drank, i honestly think that i was SUPPOSED to feel guilty (my NA conditioning) and i did feel guilty for a bit and then i just didn't... drinking wasn't fun that night, it just wasn't, i don't have to drink again if i don't want to, but if i do i don't have to feel guilty... like, i don't have to think, well, i already drank friday night, might as well shoot dope now! or, already "relapsed" might as well "stay out" and **** up all the way... well, today i am beginning to understand that i don't have to swallow all that old b.s. my mind tells me and the fellowship conditioned me to believe...
thanks again, and please, if any of you are interested in a forum for addicts by addicts please email me: ***@****!
love,
amber
as far as tabu goes, not from the forties, not even close but i LOVE tabu, my aunt wore it in the sixties and to this day whenever i smell tabu it brings me back to a wonderful time in my life!!!! sometimes i even where it myself!
thanks again!
amber
Its been awhile since my last post but I was thinking about posting something like this for awhile. I have a pill (mostly oxy codone and oxycontins), alcohol, marajuana problem since I was about 12. I am now 29. I have been clean since mid sept. This was my first honest attempt at going clean. I did it and was very strong, I really thought I was over it. the truth is the depression has never ended. I am very sad all the time. I over relied on an old girlfriend who I have completely pushed away because of my struggle. My parents are of no help being that they think me admiting I have a drug problem makes them look like bad parents. Reading these posts is all I have right now to help me. I need help very bad.
about 2 or 3 weeks ago I started using again... everything. I am so weak. My question is: does anyone here go through this alone? How do you do it? I think I only have one friend who doesn;t have a serious drug problem. I goto NA sometimes but it makes me so sad afterwards.
I live in philly. Hipee think you could send me an email. I would like to know which NA meetings you attend. ***@****
thanks for all your support it is truly appreicated.
Anne
it has gone something like this for me in NA:
clean 4 months
clean 15 months
clean 8 years
clean 6 months
clean NOW!!
would i change it, maybe... but did i learn something every single time from it all? yep! i sure did~ and today i don't hold myself up to an all or nothing recovery such as i had pursued for so many years in NA...
good luck!!!!!! and keep trying!
amber