My name is Tony I am 43 married with a 11 and 13 year olds, If I may be give you some of my history/experiences both personal and professional it may help the both of us. At the end of my addiction (my rock bottom)I was injecting 1300-1600mg daily of ms-contin it depended on what pills I had on hand at that time as I was visiting about 3 steady Dr's every month 1 pain management dr, 2 regular dr's as well, I did this every month for 2.5 years without interruption. I would like to add that when I would run out I would get myself admitted to the hospital rather than go thru withdrawals. I was prescribed approx 120 4mg diludid tabs on top of the ms-contin for breakthrough pain. Please bear in mind I also maintained my job and public stature in my community with out any suspicion or some one trying to interfere. My work background was in Emergency Medical Services as a Medic and Law Enforcement this is where I first received multiple injuries/surgeries which began my initial drug use/abuse, I have had a total of 27 operations for multiple problems sustained from my working environment so it would be fair to think I would always suffer from chronic/post surgical pain. I am telling you this so maybe you can identify with some of my habits I am not proud of this either as I became the worst of the worst Rx Addicts I had the experience, pathology, and knowledge to manipulate my doctors and was extremely successful at this. To be fair to myself I can place blame on my first pain killer doctor as he was prescribing me an inappropriate amount of oral hydrocodone with in my first year (approx 400 plus 10mg pills a month) Unsolicited. But I take the blame for my addiction and actions This for me was my first stop on the road to recovery I had to admit I was hurting myself and killing my wife and probably emotionally damaging my awesome kids as they seen me practice my addiction and since they knew I was a paramedic and had doctor friends this was normal behavior to them. Today they know this was not the case and it was a drug induced set of habits, practices and rituals. I did not just wake up and smell the roses and decided to plunge in to recovery one day it took me 2 30 day treatment centers and 2 7-10 day detox tries to get the message from my body to my brain that enough was enough, but not mention my family became homeless in the middle of the summer in Las Vegas in 122 degree weather, to be honest that was not a direct effect of my abuse but if I was able to have a clear mind maybe I could have taken care of my families business a lot better which could have caused them not to be homeless. I have a lot more to my psychosocial stressors maybe I could share at a later time if you are interested. After my last detox of 7 days at a exclusive drug rehab center in Vegas I started my recovery this was in July 05 I had no choice to enter a methadone maintained program for 2 reason first was to control my cravings for morphine and second I have severe chronic pain from 27 operations and other injuries sustained over my work career so this was do or die for me because at this time I knew that I was too banged up for my type of work, and that if I was going to take more drugs I knew my family would suffer even more, I made a financial decision or at least I thought it to be a good one for my wife and kids at the time that I would just kill myself because I knew I was smart enough to make my death look like a accident I was worth more to my family dead than alive so I thought. If it was not for my beautiful wife of 16 years asking me why would I try to kick my addiction just to leave them any way then all that I had put her and the kids thru would be for nothing she also pointed out that one thing she knew was that I was not some one who QUIT at things when I was either afraid of failure or if a situation got bad it was then I knew I really had one choice and that was to stand up and be the husband and dad I should have always been and to fight for what was mine and this was a healthy non-abusing drug free life and to fight for my family as this addiction/drug was attacking them just as much probably even more in other ways. So yes as of today I have kicked/controlled my substance abuse of almost 1600mgs of morphine a over 24 mgs of inject able dialudid per day for at least 2.5 years I have not had any pain meds other than my prescribed dosage daily and I have only seen one doctor per month(the same dr) its been a year and 6 months now I can say it is a daily battle for me and that when I hurt both physically and emotionally so bad I want my drug of choice I just have to remember these 2 things in this order I owe my wife and children a good healthy life without drugs and how much it would hurt them to let them down and to be very honest once you hit rock bottom withdrawal pains you really do not want to go back and chase that demon either. I hope this helps you to understand your not alone and that this road you are certain to take can be traveled safely with purpose and most of all successfully please tell yourself that your life is worth it and so is the happiness and emotional health of your family and network of friends, I hope I now can become part of that network as well. Thank you for asking how and letting me in you are on your way. Tony

My name is Tony I am 43 married with a 11 and 13 year olds, If I may be give you some of my history/experiences both personal and professional it may help the both of us. At the end of my addiction (my rock bottom)I was injecting 1300-1600mg daily of ms-contin it depended on what pills I had on hand at that time as I was visiting about 3 steady Dr's every month 1 pain management dr, 2 regular dr's as well, I did this every month for 2.5 years without interruption. I would like to add that when I would run out I would get myself admitted to the hospital rather than go thru withdrawals. I was prescribed approx 120 4mg diludid tabs on top of the ms-contin for breakthrough pain. Please bear in mind I also maintained my job and public stature in my community with out any suspicion or some one trying to interfere. My work background was in Emergency Medical Services as a Medic and Law Enforcement this is where I first received multiple injuries/surgeries which began my initial drug use/abuse, I have had a total of 27 operations for multiple problems sustained from my working environment so it would be fair to think I would always suffer from chronic/post surgical pain. I am telling you this so maybe you can identify with some of my habits I am not proud of this either as I became the worst of the worst Rx Addicts I had the experience, pathology, and knowledge to manipulate my doctors and was extremely successful at this. To be fair to myself I can place blame on my first pain killer doctor as he was prescribing me an inappropriate amount of oral hydrocodone with in my first year (approx 400 plus 10mg pills a month) Unsolicited. But I take the blame for my addiction and actions This for me was my first stop on the road to recovery I had to admit I was hurting myself and killing my wife and probably emotionally damaging my awesome kids as they seen me practice my addiction and since they knew I was a paramedic and had doctor friends this was normal behavior to them. Today they know this was not the case and it was a drug induced set of habits, practices and rituals. I did not just wake up and smell the roses and decided to plunge in to recovery one day it took me 2 30 day treatment centers and 2 7-10 day detox tries to get the message from my body to my brain that enough was enough, but not mention my family became homeless in the middle of the summer in Las Vegas in 122 degree weather, to be honest that was not a direct effect of my abuse but if I was able to have a clear mind maybe I could have taken care of my families business a lot better which could have caused them not to be homeless. I have a lot more to my psychosocial stressors maybe I could share at a later time if you are interested. After my last detox of 7 days at a exclusive drug rehab center in Vegas I started my recovery this was in July 05 I had no choice to enter a methadone maintained program for 2 reason first was to control my cravings for morphine and second I have severe chronic pain from 27 operations and other injuries sustained over my work career so this was do or die for me because at this time I knew that I was too banged up for my type of work, and that if I was going to take more drugs I knew my family would suffer even more, I made a financial decision or at least I thought it to be a good one for my wife and kids at the time that I would just kill myself because I knew I was smart enough to make my death look like a accident I was worth more to my family dead than alive so I thought. If it was not for my beautiful wife of 16 years asking me why would I try to kick my addiction just to leave them any way then all that I had put her and the kids thru would be for nothing she also pointed out that one thing she knew was that I was not some one who QUIT at things when I was either afraid of failure or if a situation got bad it was then I knew I really had one choice and that was to stand up and be the husband and dad I should have always been and to fight for what was mine and this was a healthy non-abusing drug free life and to fight for my family as this addiction/drug was attacking them just as much probably even more in other ways. So yes as of today I have kicked/controlled my substance abuse of almost 1600mgs of morphine a over 24 mgs of inject able dialudid per day for at least 2.5 years I have not had any pain meds other than my prescribed dosage daily and I have only seen one doctor per month(the same dr) its been a year and 6 months now I can say it is a daily battle for me and that when I hurt both physically and emotionally so bad I want my drug of choice I just have to remember these 2 things in this order I owe my wife and children a good healthy life without drugs and how much it would hurt them to let them down and to be very honest once you hit rock bottom withdrawal pains you really do not want to go back and chase that demon either. I hope this helps you to understand your not alone and that this road you are certain to take can be traveled safely with purpose and most of all successfully please tell yourself that your life is worth it and so is the happiness and emotional health of your family and network of friends, I hope I now can become part of that network as well. Thank you for asking how and letting me in you are on your way. Tony