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JUST a thought...................
by scarlet99, Dec 31, 2006 12:00AM
Has it occurred to anyone that 'cole' and 'faifai' are indeed the same person? Like I said, just a thought...............
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i think he is reaching out.... just in the wrong way... i dont think he knows how!
Ash
_______
When I first read Cole's post... FIRST THOUGHT WAS... "Honey you HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING...YOU are going to do a lot of damage blowing that much oxy up your nose at one time.
My head says... Gip.. don't say anything..no one is that stupid.
Then I thought...he's prolly some 14 year old who got hold of some of his grandparent's pain pills and doesn't know what to do with them.
Then I read Matine's post to him and felt guilty that I didn't say anything... he'd do a lot of damage to himself snorting that kinda drug.
If Cole really was abusing Oxy's for any period of time he'd know that blowing that much at once would hurt him. I hope to God he didn't do it...in any event.
You guys, we are DRUG ADDICTS on this forum...we have all lied, about our abuse in some format, even worse we have lied to ourselves. Am I any better than some hard addicted person who was in jail... hell NO...I certainly haven't felt that my withdrawl this week was bigger or lessened by the fact that I wasn't in jail... my story is just different is all. Point being we really don't know who are on the other end of these messages....we really don't know who is sincere or a bouncy little blonde that wants friends...
I am humbled by being here and thankful for the new friends I've met...and I've whined and you guys know things about me that I have managed to hide from others for a very long time. Thank goodness there is a miserable stomach virus streaming in this county... I don't even remember my first four days of detox ... just the runs and the thirst.
Yes, I can imagine being desparate enough to steal a book of 'scrpts...from someone who I am supposed to love... I can imagine that I would do anything if I didn't have what I needed at my fingertips. After this week, I can imagine killing someone to get what I needed, because it is living hell. I started Detox with a brand new script of 100 pills that I didn't open. They are sitting here on my desk and I stare at them.
With all that being said, we don't know who is behind the messages we only know we are ADDICTS... Cole was obviously in bad shape no matter how you shake out that post....You can't detox and be considering snorting on a "TAPER"...so I chose at the moment not to post or scold him for going there I agree full heartedly it was inappropriate. I'm not here to teach anyone how to use drugs.
Personally..I don't think it's FaiFai....I think FaiFai knows way too much about Drugs and addiction to post something like that
We all found our way here to get help... sometimes we all have something to say that hits home w/another person...so we can give help as well..you can't give anything away that you don't own.
Yes, matine...your influence has certainly made a dent in my detox period... and thanks to you if cole came back and read messages maybe he is still alive. Yes again, matine...I'm starting to feel again and my conscience (sp) has kicked in ... in full regailia. Suppose Cole is some little boy and just happened to get himself a few oxys to have fun with on NYE
I am going to disagree that Cole and FaiFai are the same person. My opinion is that they truly are not one in the same. Irregardless, I can't get too overly sanctimonious at this point that some A**hole is writing stupid messages. I am here for the same reason as everyone else. I need the support and new found freindships from here. And as I said about I'm not going to teach anyone how to blow oxy up their nose. Think about this... anyone who was truly trying to taper would KNOW they can't snort the damn drug.
I think FaiFai is *bucked* up real bad and he's using...but think about this...if he wasn't thinking about abusing drug issues in his life...he would never have found his way here to start with. I don't think he's stupid...I think he's bucked up right now...
Just some thoughts on why I don't think Cole is FaiFai...and I'm willing to bet $$ that FF will come around. Anyone want to take me on for ummmmmm a quarter.
I actually had sane moments today...monkey made me realize how much I have been coddling....so tomorrow I'm going to force myself into something productive. Even if I don't want to take it one day at a time... and if you can't one moment at a time. We all may know things a little differently...we all have had different lives and obviously different lifestyles ... but we are all here in this for a reason.
Just a bit of Gipsee Logic...Take it for exactly what you paid for it...
Again, Happy New Year... I hope everyone here who is sincere manages their recovery anyway they know how...just mangage
XoXo
Gip
I totally understand....!
The only way to get past it...is to go through it. It surely is not easy....
I hope you find your way real soon, seems like so much "stuff" in your life is good.
Happy New Year
Gip
I do agree that we are addicts, yes..and have all either been through hell and/or are going through it now.
But, if FF's case....he doesn't WANT help. He isn't in denial, he literally knows what he is doing and has SAID 'I DONT WANT TO STOP I LOVE IT'.
So, my problem with FF is.....you can't help someone that tells you, literally, that they DO NOT want it.
He found this site, and came in here just to discourage others and really gets off on it.
If he truly wanted help, he would ask for it. Yet, by his posts, I really believe him that he LOVES getting high and doesn't want to stop. So how do you help one that doesnt want it? Seriously?
I was actually hoping FF/COLE were the same person....because I believe Cole really was asking for help, in an immature way. But who knows? He may only BE a kid which makes his consumption of oxys even more dangerous for him.
I pray that faifai really does decide he wants help...he DID say one thing positive(kinda)in a post the other day...at least, it was his kind of positive feedback....He said: Don't get started on these pills cuz you won't be able to quit....or something along those lines but pretty close to that.
For HIM, that was as positive as we are gonna get.
And, well, maybe that's a start for him.
Scarlet