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CRIMINAL-HUN PLEASE READ THIS

Oh hun!!! I just saw your post. I am soo soo sorry. I don;t want to seem nosy, so please anything I ask do not be offended. And if you dont want to answer, please just tell me to shut up. ok? I did respond on your original post, but seems so far down..so I am putting here up-top for you.

First of all...hun..how old are you? Second of all, and I know you already know this. The mixture and amount your playing with is definately scaring me. Not to mention how small it makes me problem seem.

What about this roomate of yours. Do they know your trying to get clean? Do they offer you their meds? Or do they support you? Do you have any family near you can go to? Man if I could I would take you in myself! Is there anything at all you can get wrapped up in besides the using? 30 days is a hell of an acomnplishent my friend! Way to go. And, we all slip sweety. It just means get up and start again. You went that long, you can do it. I have faith in you, I can hear the desperation in your posts. You definately want to do this. And you can..look at what you just acomplished? 30 days! I wish! So that is proof right there, you have what it takes to get it done.
Please stay with us here, and let us help you.
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Avatar universal
wise man once say "failing to plan is planning to fail" =)  i felt exactly the same way as you once i was tapering down to 40 and below.  in all the days and days of detox, w/d, sub acute w/d, paws, whatever you call it.  i had 1 bad day.  1 bad indescribably day.  it started at 8:30 am on sat. the 16th of dec, and then at noon, my husband came home and gave me some of take-home.  it was a lapse, but not a relapse.  i tried again starting that next week.  my last dose was tuesday morning of 9 mgs, and it's been as close to smooth sailing as possible.
WE'RE YOUNG, WE'RE HEALTHY.  we've got the best chance of anyone of making it through this alive.
god bless
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
my best friend is on 185mg of methodone..and this might sound horrible to say but..him being on 185mg kind of gives me hope cuz im down to 70mg and it makes me look back and see how far iv come. i cant seem to get any lower than 70mg without getting leg cramps and nausia and no sleep at all. i feel like iv hit a brick wall in my recovery. my plan is to try to get my doctor to prescribe me SUBUTEX its JUST like SUBOXONE except theres no opiate blocker in the subutex so i wont have to wait a few days and get sick before taking the subutex..i can just take it rite away and quit the methodone immediatly! then after 3weeks when most of the methodone is out of my body il switch to suboxone (cuz i want an opiate blocker in me so i cant get high)...well thats my plan lol
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i understand that too.  you have to feel like you're recovering to be recovering.  do you have plans?  
i sit down and ask my husband (currently at 170 mgs) this constantly.  which i have been told repeatedly by both our counselors not to do, since it's his recovery and frankly none of my business.  and while he's doing well, and never ever uses anything else.  he's not my baby.  he's a sleepy shell.  so, what's one to do?  i feel your plight.  i hope you find a happy medium, and then a happy zero! =)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i was 0n 120mg of methodone and dropped 2mg per down to 70mg and iv been on 70mg for a month or two now because my cravings are just out of control..i REALY DONT want to go up 10mg cuz it makes me feel like im working backwards in my recovery. im not getting sick at the moment, its just all mental with me..wich at times can feel just as bad as the physical..the mind is a powerful thing
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Avatar universal
Now thats the plan of all plans my friend!!! :)

You can do it..and you will. Keep trying as hard as you are....I give a thums up to you for all the effort and the times you have been clean. That is more than I can say for myself!!

Please keep me posted...and hun do me another favor???? Go see that specialist!!! :)

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
methodone is easily the hardest drug iv ever had to withdraw from..for me its harder than heroin and oxycontin. as for the methodone (when taken at a clinic correctly) it does not get you high..you just feel normal but i still crave alot. im not on meds for my liver i never followed up with a specialist after getting my enzyme results..but ive read that methodone can be hard on the liver too so i just want to get off it n be free of all drugs
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Avatar universal
Man...I wish I could just snap my fingers and make some magic happen for you. I sincerely feel for you. And you don't have to thank me hun...I am just glad you are here with us and talking this out.
27 years old..hun you are soo soo young. Well I am 33..but I just cannot imagine what you go through. I know my poison is this vicodin, and let me tell you it is hell. But my problem seems so small when I listen to you. I am so sorry for all this you have going on. The methadone clinic..I do hear alot about that, and it being used for detox. Does that work well? What does it make you feel like? Do you have any children?

The liver damage..is there anyway it can be reversed? Are you on meds for that too? I am sorry for all the questions..but like you I am trying to keep busy and it helps so much to vent everything in here where as I cannot do it openly here at home. Not only that, your story just amazes me. You can go 20-30 days clean, I envy that! It has only been a day for me, and I have dipped into taking halves of my pills to remain somewhat comfortable. The w/ds were way more than I could ever imagine. So, I cannot imagine what you must go through with your plight. However, I do totally understand. I am glad you are here with us tonight, and not out on the streets. :) This forum really has kept me going, I have been here all day/night on and off..last night too..trying to keep sane. I wish it was as easy to forget all the **** as it is to want it.
I will be here a while yet if you still want to talk hun.


Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i wana thank you for your support. and yea iv gone inpatient to (duel diagnosis) about 7 times so my insurance refuses to even pay for anymore inpatient stays. iv been on a methodone clinic for 4yrs n thats where i get weekly counseling appointments and i also have a phsyciatrist for my bipolar. anyway it seems i always go 20 to 30 days clean then i screw upn shoot dope..its like a vicious cycle. im 27 and have stomach AND liver damage from pills and heroin but not even that stops me from using..
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i am also 27 years old and have pushed drags hard.  not necessarily opiates, but i've been bootin any speedy substance i could break down since i was 16.  i was also at around 70 mgs at the clinic.  are you trying to wean?  maybe it's not your time.  maybe going up by 10+ mgs could really help get you at that comfortable point.
life is so beautiful.  you need to find the thing that will keep you going when everything is falling around you.
if it's not god, this forum, na, a child/family member, then talk to me.  i will answer every email
***@****
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Aww hun...well one good thing though is...you seem to want to be clean. And counseling? Way to go there as well. I am sorry to hear your family has an addiction problem too. I really feel for you. But you seem strong enough and willing to get yourself where you want and need to be.
This latest slip I would NOT beat myself up over. It happens, I know that myself.

Please though....stay here with us and post as much as you want to. You need to be around people who totally support you 100%. This site is the best place for that. How often do you see your counselor? Also..did you say you have done some in-patient treatments too? If not, is that an option for you?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i am 27yrs old,as you know im on 70mg of methodone..but when i use i push my body and mind to the limit,i try to reach unconsciousness with out actualy dying. anyway as for my living situation, i am living with family rite now (i dont have no where else to go) but almost everyone in my family is an addict anyway (except for my mother). my mom tries to support me but after 9 years of addiction she has had about enough of me and my problem. so im kinda on my own with this..except for talkn with my counselor
Helpful - 0
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