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Avatar universal

Down and out

Yesterday was day five, I went to a party that I knew i wasnt strong enough to attend. Drank heavely and did alot of coke. Well I bought two oxy 80's at midnight last night to come down and have done two today to get through work. I felt great yesterday and I threw it all away. I feel like suck a loser, and have the worst case of the guilties. Nobodys fault but my own LOSER!
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Avatar universal
Habits are more then just the actual drugs, people places and things are triggers too and some relationships need to be cut off completely to walk in sober shoes. Falling down doesnt hurt that bad if you get right back on the horse and ride it out! Sorry for the poetic quotes but sometimes they help if you repeat them to yourself, at least for me it does. These pills are like cancer if it comes back you have to keep fighting and you will eventually get through it!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP LIKE THAT!!!! Hey man!!! Calm down!! It happens sometimes, I've threw months away clean on perks, I have a 6 month old daughter, I had a pill problem before I got pregnant, weined myself when I found out I was pregnant, and I fell back down again!! I won't drink right now at all...I was used to getting perks the next day to whipe the hangover out, I don't want to do that, don't want 2 lose good time. Now you know, your not ready to do certain things, and theres probaly certain people you can't be around either, brush yourself off and do it again!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! Knocking your self esteem down is only going to make you relapse more honey!! So brush your shoulders off, and start again, maybe no withdrawls will kick in, and if they do!! Suck it up, talk to us, and we'll pray for you!!!!!!
Sincerely, strictly me
P.S. I messed up, I didn't know that methadone was a worse habit then percocets, I was told they helped get you off of them! But I know now, we learn as we go along!!! Stay strong, your wonderful in every way possible, always remember that and it helps!!!!!!! :-) smile 4 us:~
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Avatar universal
A loser is one who stays down one more time than they are knocked down, so get up dust yourself off, and get back in the race!!  You CAN do it!!  The board members are pulling for you!!
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Avatar universal
Beating yourself up is not going to help.  Pick yourself up dust yourself off and start again.  I think you were doing pretty good right.  You flushed them a while back.
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Avatar universal
Don't be so hard on yourself, you have not been off of them long enough to get over your cravings, if you really want to quit maybe you should stick close to home for awhile. Please don't beat yourself up over this, my cravings are so bad right now I can taste it, if I had some vics around I would be very tempted!!
Jennifer
Helpful - 0
175363 tn?1200946321
"A mistake is worth making IF we learn from it,If we never made mistakes we wouldn't know how to make things right." Some1 on here wrote.

Start over, you MAY have a diiferent frame of mind. You ARE worth the struggles to get clean. Who cares, don't beat yourself up, get up, get going to your clean life again. You are, in fact, HUMAN. We err!

You are right, if you used at the party you weren't strong enough to be there yet. How did you hear of it? Maybe you should call that person and thank them for being there and getting you out, but you have some issues with you that YOU need to work on and that YOU will call when YOU are ready. Unfortunately, as addicts, we surround ourselves with...more addicts. But, we ALL have that one friend that is SOBER... Find him/her and spill. Hell, spill to your addict friends, too. They will be soooo envious when you are clean. Then the tables will turn, and they will come to you for help...

Lisa
Helpful - 0
52704 tn?1387020797
I find that strength has nothing to do with my recovery.  Surrender has everything to do with my recovery.  Uncle Vice gives good advice when he says to beware of People, Places and Things - they will KILL YOU.  I am on Day 587 and and I wouldn't DARE go to a party where there was any type of drug being used.

I don't look at anything in terms of whether or not I'm "strong enough."  Rather, I must look at everything in terms of whether or not it would be SAFE.  I may be 587 days from my last use, but if I don't stay safe I'm just 1 day away from my next use.  
If it's not safe I don't do it.  If I'm not 100% sure that it's safe (and 100% sure that I'm 100% sure), I ask my sponser and then do what he says (whether I like it or not).  I have a disease that wants to kill me.  It is cunning, baffling and powerful.  It will use any method possible, and any means imaginable, to get me to pick up.

The state of an addict was aptly described by Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9.  I'm not much of a Bible-thumper, but what God told Paul has become the backbone of my recovery: "My grace will be sufficient for you: for my strength is made perfect in weakness."  So, I don't try to be strong, I try to be weak.  So far it's working

Surrender and live.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Its OK sweetie.... Take a deep breath relax. Now ask yourself DO I WANT TO QUITE?????? If you said yes start over. Its going to be hard for a while to be around all the old friends. You need to stay clean so you need to be with clean and supportive people. Its OK to make mistakes.. WE ALL DO... (at least I know I do a lot LOL) You don't want to keep putting yourself through these this. Stay strong and keep yourself on the right road.. Heather
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