Hey honey..I hope everything works out!! Us women usually do put up with alot of s**t before we decide to leave, have you's ever broken up before? I've kind of came to a conclusion, those in relationships that break up all the time, seem to last forever, but those who don't break up and keep taking all of the pain or whatever in, when they end up breaking up its for good! That's why Im so scared for my relationship right now!! But honey..you should go get some help, professionally, if you think you can go c/t then have your girlfriend lock your ass in a bedroom, and you'd have to suffer for a few days (which that sounds to horrible for you to try to do) so.....keep your head up! Ask her how she would like to go about you getting clean!!!
sincerely, strictly me

When I fessed up to my mom that I was addicted to pills she said thank god cuz now there was a reason why I am a complete **** up!

Well I think also that..being on the other end I am sure they hurt. They have no idea what it is like, and feel helpless that they can't understand or get the old YOU back. But I think if she eductaes herself here and also sees your posts and how bad you are struggling. She will see the words you put here that you are unable to say to her. I think it would be a huge help. I mean tell her that she does not have to post, or anything. Just ask if she would like to try and understand more of what you are going through and that it is just not "explainable" because I truly beleive it is not. I can't explain it either, it just sucks that is all I know. And most definatly one of the hardest things I have ever had to battle with. I pray to god with everything in me that this is all I will ever have to deal with that is THIS bad, and hope he will help me get myself back on track. The good news is you are trying, you are trying hard to get through this. That alone says alot in itself hun. I bet she knows this also. :)  I wish you the best hun. Please keep me posted.
Thinking of you both!
Tracy

I was terrified to tell my b.f. To my suprise he knew, he suspected anyways, i've done this to him before, last time he told me if i did this to him again,he'd for sure leave. Well, i told him, scared 2 death i was, cause he is a good man in his own way, he takes good care of me, in his own way LoL but believe it or not, he was very understanding about the whole situation, when we talked, it felt like those first few nights when we were falling in love, but not quite there yet!!! He didn't yell, scream, or any of that, he cried!!! If she truly loves you, she'll realize that you need her help, and she'll try her hardest to understand, but if keeping it a secret isn't helping, cause if your significant other doesn't know, how are they supose to try and help ya know!!! If they leave, then their not worth even being there, love is supose to conquor anything!!!! Sickess, addiction, wealth, fame, all that good and bad stuff!!! :) Hope everything turns out for ya!!
Sincerely, strictly me

WELL MY HUSBAND KNOWS ABOUT IT  but said he lives w/an addict and I can keep this my own thing that way I wont feel like I can say what I need to say or hes spying on me he wouldnt bother me not much he doesnt know about me. but I also knowthat people may not want their spouse orwhatever to know all, the only onr thats nosey is my son,and yes my children are well aware there mother is an addict but trying to get better and they seeit

OMG...talltim are you serious?? You are not a f**k up!!! All of God's children are miracles, he works on each and everyone of us in different ways and at different times, some may come addicted to drugs, some may become alcholics, some may become homeless....your picking yourself up now and that's all that matters!!!! Keep moving forward talltim!!! You can do it!!! I have faith in you, so does God, that's all that matters!! I hope your mom didn't mean that literally!!!
Sincerely, strictly me

Yeah my girlfriend does know. I actually read her a couple of things off this site but I think she is just upset seeing me quit for a couple of days and then go right back. And every time I get high I start feeling all good and sweet talk her and she pretty much can see that I'm just high even though I mean it. I shoot up in front of her all the time which is just stupid. I think I just am wearing on her last nerves. I think the only thing that will save this is if I truly get clean. Actions speak louder then words because mine have been pretty much meaningless to her.  I really wish my head would clear up so I could keep one clear thought. Thanks for the advice everyone.  My thinking is just really negative right now so I'm not gonna talk to her until I feel a lil bit better.

GEE now your stating to sound like me! ive been feeling realy negitive for a couple of days, I was really hoping to be feeling better by now but the pain in my back and my mood swings are getting old! I hope I can keep going longest I have been clean in 7 yrs and I have used something on and off since i was 14-15 i know you can make it and she will see you ment every word you said I know its not easy for her if I had a dollar for every promise I made I would be rich. your friend,christie

Vicaddict has a point.  My man knows about this place and I think it made him feel less scared for me.