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TO ALL MY DEAR FRIENDS

I am taking off for a bit, at least until things cool down. I cannot get caught up in this. I love you ALL, annnnnnnnnnnd..I am thinking of all of you, and thank all of you for being for me as well!!

Everyone have a great day...hope everyone stays comfortable and I will be back on later.

Thoughts and prayers EVERYONE'S way!!!!

HUGGGS TOOO
Tracy
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Avatar universal
Good for you.  If its stressful then you are doing the right thing the rest of us will watch your back.  I'm so concerned about you.  I know you can do this.  You just have to want it bad enough.  My back is soooooo stiff today I can't stand up straight. But in hindsight it's really a trade off.  My 4 yearold is on my lap giving me kisses and I'm here present with her.  How is it that some days you look around and go what the f**k and others you look around and you realize there is a god who else could create perfection.  
We are now going through the different types of kisses.  butterfly, fish, eskimo, cow (not my favorite).
My favorite part is when I lay down with them at night and watch for the last blink before they drift off to sleep.  How many of those did I miss.  
I talked to my husband last night cause around 5 I wanted to take a pill.  I realized it's like and evening cocktail for me after a long day.  Staying home with 3 kids for 10 years is a lotta time.  I did by choice but that doesn't mitagate the difficulties.  How many times I went to bed thinking I could have been better.  No wonder some days I feel like a failure.  Your not guaranteed a positive return on your kids. You get what you get.  Regardless of how hard you try to be the best for them.
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She said plz.  Stop dude.  She's not in a good place.  She fighting to stay strong.  Be part of the solution not the problem.
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So the emotional roller coaster continues.  I'm tearful when I think that I've been blessed with everything I ever wanted and not everything I should not have wanted.   Why would I run from that. I looked at myself in the mirror today.  Really looked and I had to turn away.  I used to be 6ft. and 130 now I'm 6ft and 215.  I've taken out all my saddness, frustration, anger, regret, mistakes on myself.  I guess when you really hit bottom way hard on your ass and you get to that point where you really may not come up for air your realize you do deserve something better.  That you are worth something broken or whole.  We all have a place.  Sometimes we search to hard and get lost.  I guess I realized I want every last f**king breath I can get.  I just have to work a little harder and taking them.
Thanks vicaddict.  I'm sorry your so upset by cole.  We all deal with our pain in different ways.  He's lashing out.  You have a good heart and you and I both know that one day the memory of the lashing and the pain it has caused will come back to him and it will become his sorrow to bare.
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Avatar universal
Sorry I thought you meant pills not hours.
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177003 tn?1266270355
I guess I'm the dumb one here. I always try to read every post, but I must have missed a few because I don't know what's going on. What is everyone upset about?? What happened to all the pulling together. I hear people talking about that added "drama" and how things have changed. SOMEONE PLEASE INFORM ME.

Hugs....LS
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Avatar universal
you people want to leave cole alone. God man, some of you people act like god when you have the intel. of a ant in heat.
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Avatar universal
We need each other.  Period.  I need you.  I think as someone said we all need to do what is best for us.  Taking a break I understand.  

But we are mature enough to speak honestly and openly here.  It is (as I have said numerous times) my life line.

I feel an obligation to those just arriving here to be as welcoming and caring and loving as so many of you were to me.  Let us set an example of love and tolerance.  When I think of all the words I wish I could take back.  And all the pain of those words,  I know all of us are learning and growing each in our seperate ways.

Lets put it to bed.  I need you. I need all of you.  Your being in the trenches so to speak is the one thing each of you have in common with me.  Some are successful on their journey, some are not, some are still accepting the possiblities of recovery.  Everyone being at a different point in their continued journey is what makes each of us so unique.  And so usefull and helpful to one another,
I hope I did not contrubute to this blow up,  If you scroll down to Gipsee's Thank you I expained some things i feel.

Those who do not deserve our love, generally need it the most.  We're an intelligent accepting group of people.  Lets move on to the good energy we felt a few days ago.  Take a deep breath and yes, give it a break if you can.  

I just want you all to know, for real, you support means everything to me.
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