Friends what in the he*l is wrong with me??

Question

Hello all, IM on day 25 today. Wow I cant believe it really. it doesn't seem like its been that long. I can remember that awful 14 days like it was yesterday. Man, I never want to feel like that again. That is what I want to remember for the rest of my days. I feel that will help me to stay away from them all together. I have thought a few times this week man, how I would love to have some.....(dealer is always good on the 20th of every month) IM sure that is why. The second I let myself think I can handle taking ONLY A FEW is when I will relapse. I really don't want to do that. Therefore I have to keep reminding myself of all those oh so AWFUL things I went through and still am going through. I also keep wondering is this it??? Will I always for now on feel bored, lazy and unsatisfied? It is so odd, I feel good be clean such as I feel calmer, pachent and healthier. I also feel like I can think clearer, I can remember things and I feel emotions better. But, on the other hard I feel like sh*t to. I just cant really figure it out. Maybe I will never be happy without my drug.... I will continue to pray about it and I am sure he will reveal it to me in due time. 
 Most of you are probably reading this and saying to yourself wow what is going on this doesn't sound like her. LOL IM SORRY!!! I know I try to be on the giving side to ALL of you. IM sorry I haven't been on much lately. I am thinking and praying for all of you. I miss you guys. Let me know how everyone is.. That will make me feel better. I feel out of the loop LOL

XOXO, Heather

sunny8008 · Answer

yeah your all right. it just sucks and i just want to be right with myself. thanks all. love ya, heather

vee108 · Answer

Seems like I wrote that post myself; couldnt have said it better.  I think we have about the same amount of time..almost 30 days so we are experiencing the same things right now.  All I can do is stay away from them...thats as much as I can manage right now.  Been praying and reading..trusting Him also.  We'll feel better soon, gotta give the brain a chance to heal.

vicaddict · Answer

Hey sweety! I had to respond and say HI. I been wondering where you been. 

I feel exactly how you feel. It isn't a fun place to be, I know. But like arlington said your not there yet but well on your way my friend!!!


I am so glad to see you back!! Stay with us!

HUgs
Tracy

ArlingtonAddict · Answer

Hi! Your w/d may be over BUT your brain is still on the mend (opiat use prohibits our brains from making other crucial neurotransmitters but, once it's out of you, your brain is starting!) So, once acute w/d has passed, it may seem like "This is it? This is the destination? This is like a crappy black and white movie". BUT it is NOT it--your brain will continue to mend your moods and feelings will cotninue to enhance and improve. This is hard science--not some 'la la woo woo' theory. It takes all a long time to get back to 'good' (from BOTH directions). You ain't at good yet but you ARE on the way!

Friends what in the he*l is wrong with me??

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