Advice on day 5 and after?

Question

finishing day 4 c/t off of years long lortab/hydro addiction; could not have made it this far without your posts which I have been reading every day so thanks so very much to all of you brave friends; have not gone this long in about 3 yrs; have gone c/t many times for 2-3 days then relapsed; always the self-deception that I can handle it--you know just one or two then in a day or so its on to more; then back to the hell-go-round of abusing I know so well; today I had two close calls with relapse; the pills just seemed so good, but I knew I didn't want to go back; what advice do you have to help me keep going longer?

jaxa · Answer

made it to now, one more day--feels better physically, but I know this starts the mental part; how are you?

jaxa · Answer

well i'll tell you what it helps to have somebody to talk to about it so thanks; when i started abusing it was for the buzz and then to get the buzz to get through something (thats what i told myself)--some crisis, some event, some meeting, then pretty much just to get up, to lay down, to go out the door; until its all triggers all the time; but i have hope because i made it today and thats a good feeling i want to hang onto; appreciate your kindness jaxa

ArlingtonAddict · Answer

I'm on Day 5, too (c/t). Days 1-3 were terrible, each had its own, different terrible w/d symptoms. Like a mini-series or something. So, Day 1 was a "1" (0 = the worst of the worst).

Day 2 and 3 were 2's (equally bad but differnt). 

Day 4 was better (4) -- some reprive from physical symptoms, some sleep last night

Day 5 is better (6) BUT am feeling less good tonight for some reason ...

I think we have tobe more vigilant once not completely over-taken by physical stuff. It's the mental stuff and the cravings that, I think, are more insidious and long-lasting.

ugh ...

gjgjgjgjgjgj · Answer

That is my problem, dealing with the "mind games" I play with myself.  It all revolves around the cravings.  I know deep down that I will be back to where I was if I take even one pill, but I say to myself that I can control it this time and take just one or two a week or on "special" occasions.  Then I think that I don't want them to take me over again and I am good for a few hours.  Then something happens to trigger another craving.  The triggers are what we need to deal with.  Hard as it is, we must learn how to deal with them.  How?  I am not sure. Otherwise I wouldn't be here now.  That is why this forum helps us so much. Other users or ex users can help us out with this.  It seems we are both struggling with the same thing, the triggers.  Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be "happy" again.  At other times I am "happy" to be off of the pills.  Confusing?  Yes. Maybe after a few weeks my mind will be clear enough to sort it all out.

jaxa · Answer

thanks. yeah, cutting off sources is part of it...but you know you can get more. even after the worst of the w/d is over the mind games go on--(I feel good, so I can handle a pill now; I feel bad, I need a pill now; I don't feel anything, I deserve a pill as a reward, etc. etc.--you all know how this goes in your head)--how do you deal with these mind games you play with yourself-?

jaxa · Answer

Hey you made it through those dark days I know so well; the first just lays you out and you feel like you can't function; the second is about as bad; the third seems a little lighter; I haven't felt the fourth in a long time and you know what it feels right good, through the physical part isn't over of course; I agree with you; you get to feeling good and thats when you get overconfident and start to forget you good you got at fooling yourself

gjgjgjgjgjgj · Answer

I am by no means a "pro".  I think that talking to others with the same problem is the best medicine.  I have learned so much on this forum.  Most posters are in the same boat we are in and some have recovered and have plenty of helpful thoughts.  Keep in touch.

JOE

gjgjgjgjgjgj · Answer

I wish I could give you some good advice, but I seem to relapse after day 5 or 6.  It seems like after the w/d's subside some, I begin to get cravings.  For me, I have to remove all access in order to succeed.  This time I have told the doctor not to write a refill and have informed my street connection that I don't want anymore and please don't sell me any.  I don't know if this helps, but it is what I need to do myself. Maybe it pertains to you, maybe not.  If you have access from your Doc, let him know not to write you any more.  If you have street access, it becomes a tougher problem.  Dealers will sell to you for the money, they usually don't care about you as a person.  I hope my dealer is different.

JOE

Advice on day 5 and after?

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