Sorry, but the law does *not* always side with the mother. I live in Indiana and my husband has sole custody of his two children. His ex is an alcoholic and drug addict. She has also been diagnosed with MS a few years ago and still continues to abuse alcohol while on her meds. She has supervised visitation with the two kids who are now 18 and 13. She lost custody of them when they were 9 and 4. The 18 year old pretty much has her own life now and has figured out her mom is a POS. I will never tell her that I agree because that just makes the child turn on the stepparent. I'm always there for her whenever her Mom screws her or the thirteen year old boy over but I won't talk bad about her to them....EVER. She abandoned them just a little under a year before I came along. It's been rough but at least they know they have a mother (we also have a seven year old together)who won't.

WHat chem meant by "screwy" was that we COULD NOT get into see the thread, if you look above that I said I cannot view the thread anymore.
That is what was being referred to hun not you.

Hope that clears that up.

Tracy

Hi ... I'm not sure about the first part of your message, about thinking we (us Message Board folk) were your firneds but now you don't? I have tried to respond to everything you've posted but we all, at times, I think, miss 'posts' within posts. You are not bothering me at ALL and I welcome your fellowship. Jessica

so sorry, didn't see your post earlier, plus am at work; sometimes it helps to sort things a little--(1) what is actually happening versus (2) what am i afraid will happen--the first is enough for anybody, the second is just about fear.  The best thing you can do for your daughter and yourself is to stay clean, though its so hard, I know.  --jaxa

Hey guys! I did talk to him, and sometimes it seems okay, when it comes to me saying "I am weak with whatever, it doesn't matter what it is! As long as I am weak, he'll listen! But like after he read everything on here, and I talked to him and he said I could come to him if i felt weak, I couldn't. Almost a weak later, I tried to tell him I was feeling weak, and he FLIPPED out on me!! He was of course playing his video games, and when I say things like "your not worried about your family" or "you don't care about the family you created" His response is I do care about my daughter? What's that saying? All he cares about is her, he doesn't care about me! Which I want him to care about her, but in so many other words he's saying that he don't care about me! I don't expect everyone on here to jump when I post, maybe I really did take Chem's "screwy" remark the wrong way, and it just helped jump set me, my mind is going in 101 different directions. One thing I do know, I do NOT want the pills, I want my daughter to grow up in a good enviorment (which him and I being together is not good at all) I mean can any of you female imagine this, your man NEVER shows you any attention, plays video games all day long, doesn't lay down with you at night when you go to bed, doesn't give you a kiss in the morning when your headed out for work, I mean we don't even have intercourse but maybe once a month if that anymore, and I keep trying to fight for something that's apparently not there, when I did tell him about the pill problem he seem'd so concerned, so I thought maybe he did still love me and want to be with me~~ I must have guessed wrong!! I don't know what else to do....I don't want to give up on my daughter but I can't stay here, and if I leave he's not going to let me take her, what can I do about that? Neither of us have custody of her! I really just wish I hit a couple grand and could afford to move in a nice little place, furnish it and get me a nice little used car, and leave his ass!! I am sorry for taking this out on you guys...you's truly have nothing to do with it!! I don't know what's wrong with me, maybe he's right~~ everything that happens is all my fault?

Breathe.... I can see you are VERY upset....but breathe.

What right does anyone have to take your daughter away from you.   # 1)  She belongs to you.  # 2) you do have the right to fight for her.  But that is your choice.  Because someone donated sperm to create a baby, he just can't up and take her away from you.  

That being said... relationships get Kaflukey every once in a while.   Just last week you said you were able to sit and talk to B/F for the first time in a long time.

Maybe he's confused as well.   Set some goals... not for five-years down the road... for tomorrow... call legal aid or an attorney.   Just do something to start heading in another direction for yourself.

He can ONLY HURT YOU.. if you allow him to hurt you... don't empower anyone to run your life that way.  The empowerment for that comes from you.

There are some choices... you have to make those choices and decision for a life for your and your daughter.

Remember one thing... It's not what happens to us in our lives, it's how we preceive what is happening... and then it's about changing direction if we are going in the wrong direction to meet goals.

Hope this helped

Gip

You've had a hell of a day.  You have handled it well.  You have not used and that is SO VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO REMEMBER.  Just so you know, a lot of us can see through the emotion and drama in the message and see the real you and  your scared.  So, if you wake up tomorrow and feel any remorse about the above post please know that you can come back because we love you and you are always welcome.  
K, you are feeling so alone but this is your chosing and a wise one.  You made the decision to pick new friends that were better for you.  You have set this in motion.  ITS NOT A BAD THING.  The universe, god, whoever is only responding to what you put out there.  So DON"T BE AFRAID.  This will make room for new and postive people in your life. YOUR NOT ALONE.
About your daughter.  No judge in the world is going to give sole custody to a  father just because. Next, he cannot afford to go to court, and last there is not balance in that situation.  She needs both of you, mostly you.  No one can take care of her like you.  Find a place you can go tonight and get some peace and things will look different in the morning.
l

You don't understand. I don't have anywhere to go! My mom only has a 2 bedroom apt, and she has my Aunt there, my brother his girlfriend and there 1 month old baby, so theres no room. If I miss work tomarrow I am fired, and I can't get mad cause my job has gave me so many chances I am on probation period right now, and they seen me like that at work today, they must think I'm a nut...or understand why I was missing time the way I was. I had to take the cell phone into the vice president of my company and have her tell my b/f that our systems had crashed yesterday so we basically did close yesterday, there were people still there, trying to fix it but why are they going to pay us to be there if we can't take any calls (i work at a call center) from 8am-3pm yesterday NO CALLS COULD BE TOOK...which meant they lost a couple thousand dollars yesterday, can you imagine what she was thinking cause she had to tell him that? I can't say alot on here, he comes behind me and reads everything, so I'll probaly hear all about these posts in the next few days, o' well though....

IT SOUNDS TO ME FROM A POINT OF VIEW THAT ADDICTION AS MANIFSTED ITSELF AND PROGRESSED TO A SERIOUS STAGE- cAN'T REALLY TELL BY THIS FORUM THE PILLS U WERE ON...GUESSES SOUNDS LIKE SEDATIVE HYPNOTICS(BENZO'S) OR OPIATES[PAIN MEDS]I ENCOURAGE YOU TO DE-FOCUS FROM THE RELATIONSHIP AND RE-FOCUS ON RECOVERY!!I HAVE BEEN WHERE U ARE..AN ADDICT TO THE HILT'S!!THE ONLY THING THAT I WOULD LIKE YOU TO SEE IS THAT DRUGS ARE BUT A SYMPTOM OF THE DISEASE OF ADDICTION!!!ALL THAT CHOAS IS THE OTHER PART!AND REGARDLESS WHETHER YOU OR I WANT TO ADMIT IT WE HAVE A PART IN IT....SEEK A DETOX FACILITY, PUT FAMILY SECONDARY AND RECOVERY PRIMARY, AND POST-DETOX SEEK TREATMENT!!I WOULD BE HAPPY TO DISCUSS THIS FURTHER. I HAVE SOME RESOURCES THROUGHOUT U.S.REPLY AND REMAIN AS CALM AS POSSIBLE-THIS IS NOT AN EASY DEAL, BUT A HELL OF ALOT EASIER THAN WHAT'S UP NOW!!

This is my first time doing anything of this nature,but after I read your post, I couldn't HELP but add my 2 cents!! I don't know what state you reside in, but a lot of states the mother as sole custodial parent when you are not married which means he can't take your daughter from you no matter what- it would be kidnaping. He would have to prove WITHOUT a DOUBT that you are an unfit mother and that is damn near impossible without having pictures of you shooting up in front of your child. I am on LOTS of meds right now for MS and my ex tried to take custody of our son because I was a bad influence.. The judge upped his child support for wasting his time!! The law will ALWAYS side with the mother! Do not let that be a factor in your recovery!! If anything it will help that you are facing your demons for your childs sake... I will be praying for all of you!! I LOVE this forum and hope to be more active in it soon!

I have been reading your posts for the past few weeks on this site.  It seems today that your mind is all over the place and it shows in your messages on this site.  I know that you are going through a lot with your w/d and you have been so strong--take a few deep breaths and then go and see someone about the fact your b/f is trying to take your daughter away--you may have protection from that.  Is there any friends or family you could go to for the night and let the b/f cool down and then you guys could calmly discuss what has happened in the last few days to turn him against you so quickly?

I hope everything works out for you--I don't think the one poster meant that your postw were screwy other than your thoughts are so very jumbledone post you said things about b/f and when asked what he said to you, you then didn't know what they were talking about. So please calm yourself down and think things through clearly--that always seems to work problems out.