Good day Minnie, glad to know you are still working on the plan. You are going into this much more with your eyes open than I did, and I am sure it will pay dividends to be well prepared. I am now Day 6, I took my last 100 mg slow release tablet last Sunday morning at 7 am, so I guess most of the stuff is now out of my system and my body is coping on it's own. The jitters and shakiness is less severe each morning and improves more quickly. My insides are calmer. The world seems a more focused and fun place to be, with everything brighter and sharper (including my pain!). I am ravenously hungry but really only for refined carbohydrates (yum, more croissants!) and chocolate. I am very thirsty pretty much all the time, much more than is normal for me. I'm sticking to fruit juices and fruit teas.

The night passed in short chunks of about 1

thanks so much for the amazing uplifting words. i am scared that by falling back i am now setting myself up for the whole caboosh i've just gone through again. it's amazing how easy it is to kid yourself that these few will just be that and then you'll resume the taper again. i mean it has to be done, as there will be no more after this. i got by on 2 hours sleep last night, yet today i feel really awake...mentally at least. that's the problem physically i'm tired but very restless and jittery but mentally i'm unable to switch off. when will the sleep resume? have suddenly got the munchies alot.oh god help me.

Good morning Cupoftea

And thank you so much for taking the time to make a list of suggestions for next couple of rough days. It seems to be very sound advice which I will keep consulting as I go along. I start monday, and even though it cannot be too uncomfortable as I still get the half amount of tramadol - 6 - there could be some discomfort. But I actually don't know what my next step should be. The only thing I am sure of (that's what I say now - knowing nothing) is that I would prefer a quick taper, if I have the stamina for it, because I believe - for me at least - that the temptation to take more is greater when you are still on the damm things - than when you have quit C/T. Maybe I should ask Vicaddict og others on the forum who are in the middle of tapering, they might have some sound advice. I was thinking maybe 2-3 days of 6 tramadols and then maybe four for 2-3 days, I'm not quite sure. I think, cupoftea, you make a very good point in suggesting that I find some relaxing music and other things that I can focus on when it is hard, so I will go and dust all my old Led Zeppelin records and CD's off so I at least can feel bad to some of the greatest music in history(yeah I know - it is a loooong time since Led Zep were the greatest and my 17-year old son laughs at me, but I love Robert Plant - always have - but I'm getting sidetracked here ... :-) However, I will start with 6 tramadols for a few days and see how it goes.

Have a nice and as painfree as possible saturday in the French mountains, do you have snow?

And thanks again for taking the time to help and support me, and I can't tell you how much it means to me to know that you will be around next week when I start my tapering.
Minnie  

You seem determined to get through this even if you're still struggling and if you can just get thought the next hour and then the next - another day will have passed and you will still be on the right track, and tomorrow will be better, remember that.

Good luck
Minnie

I don't know what to say. You are doing so, so, well. I have two children, not both young adults although my 16 year old has and autistic condition and is somewhat developmentally delayed. My heart goes out to you coping with this, a 6 year old and a pregnancy. You are simply a star and doing really, really well. It does get better, and surprisingly quickly. I suspect taking a pill here and there may be slowly down your progress as each time you do it your body stops having to continue it's recovery. But that's a bit of a guess, I'm no expert on this stuff. I suspect that complete cold turkey or a very organised planning taper are the two real options from what I've read. You are doing really well. You will sleep eventually the more you can try and relax and believe that you are doing well. I wish I could say more to help. You really are doing fantastically well in extremely difficult circumstances. When it gets really hard try repeating a mantra like 'I'm doing really well, I'm keeping going' over and over out load to yourself. Look in the mirror and tell it to yourself. It is really true. try to believe it. It gets better and you start to feel proud and free and then the spiral goes onwards and upwards more easily because you have finally turned it around. Sending love and hope you are sleeping. My day here in France is just beginning. Day 6 for me.

It REALLY does get better FAST! But it doesn't feel like it at the time. But each day that passes is loads better than the one that went before. On Monday (Day 1) I attempted a walk and made a few metres round our village campsite clinging miserably and feebly to the arm of my partner. This afternoon (Day 5) I have just got back from a sunny walk up the mountainside from the village ON MY OWN! (well, just the dog and me!). It gets better quickly and it feels great. Just tired now and sore tummy, but nothing at all difficult. Another world from the beginnning of the week.

Hello there, I have just woken from a short nap and read your post. I am no expert, in fact a novice, but I do know that it does get better, because I've just done it. I'm on day 5 and feeling so much better.

If you can, focus on the baby and try to break the cycle it sounds as though you are in. It really is possible to change if you want it enough. Pain is only pain. It won't kill you.

Do anything you can to distract yourself other than taking pills. Break the time into tiny portions and get through them one at a time (each 10 minutes that passes is 10 minutes nearer to feeling better). Do anything at all that helps - soak in the bath, take a shower, listen to music, have a walk, have a lie down. It WILL pass, it REALLY will.

Your baby and your health are the most precious things. Hang on in there, stay focused, stay determined. You CAN do it.

It sounds like you are about 3 days ahead of aki (above) -- might you be able to write her to asure her that it DOES get better FAST? NOTHING is as convincing as someone 'there'. Jessica

If you see cupoftea's post you will see that on day 4 already she was feeling a bit better, so if you can just hang in there for a couple of more days, especially since you are pregnant. If you weren't pregnant I would suggest som valium for the first couple of hard days, but at least you can alleviate the diahrrea with Imodium. I guess that the solpadeine can't hurt to much but you have to be aware not to get too much paracetamol. Since you cannot risk the health of your baby it would be best to contact a doctor, can't you contact another than your regular GP?

Hang in there and good luck

Hi Minnie, I've spent some of the day trying to organise my thoughts a bit and try to pass on some of the things I have learned this week. Hope they might be helpful;

1. I have found (still do but less often and less severe) that I get in the grip of a cycle of pounding chest, palpitations, fast breathing, high anxiety leading to panic. This is not something I have ever experienced before. I have found I can interrupt it by getting a hold on my breathing. I would have gathered together more things to help with this had I known in advance - relaxation tapes, soothing music, practised my technique in advance etc. It has helped when my partner has done the breathing stuff with me and it would have been good to planned this in advance.

2. I have found the temperature changes very alarming, from hot to cold, sweats to shivers in an instant or even all seeming to be going on at the same time. Water has really helped, baths and showers at all hours of the day and night have relaxed and refreshed and seemed to help my body get back on track. Have nice bath stuff and essential oils at the ready.

3. Exercise. I have done something every day, however pathetically I have gone outside and walked, the first day I needed help, today I was fine alone and even climbed a bit. I have done the max I could manage however **** I felt as I am sure it has helped my body get going and start making it's own endorphins again.

4.My insides have turned outside especially on the first day. I didn't take any meds for this as I thought it was my body's way of getting itself going again - opiates really slow the bowels down - so I let it happen however unpleasant.But I have managed to keep eating and drinking which I am sure has helped to keep my strength. If I was planning in advance now I would get in lots of pure fruit juice which is high cal and cooling when you are hot, and a selection of fruit teas which are great when you are cold. I've tried, and mostly succeeded, to eat something every two hours and recommend having plenty high cal/low fibre snacks to hand. It seemed that my body was in overdrive and my need for fluid and calories was very high. I have enjoyed things I never normally eat - white toast with jam, white pasta with a trickle of tomato sauce, chocolate and so on. I've kept off anything high fibre or likely to increase the speed of my insides. Even today on day 5 they are nowhere near normal but very much better. I am very very hungry but not for my usual types of food.

5. Gather around you anything that might distract you from how you feel. Even if only for a few minutes at a time. I haven't been able to concentrate and on Monday could hardly even stay upright, and the days and nights felt endless. Having a little something even to pass ten minutes felt helpful and I would have gathered things in advance if I hadn't gone into it all so na

thanks for the kind words. i'm afraid to say i have lapsed although nowhere near as badly as my previous attempts. the stupid thing is that i know it will only be short term...the fix. in fact it's not enough to allieviate the restlessness all the time and i'm struck down by the insomnia. i fell badly and have made a mess of my head and face,coupled with a severe bad back i had to go to the dr to ask for pain relief as i've become a virtual recluse and coupled with the fear, symptoms and insomnia i am a mess. how long does the restlessness and insomnia stay for? this is so important to know, i am trying my damnest to focus on the baby but it;s hard. in my lowest times i've resented her but that's just me and the overwhelming depression. i am so glad to be pregnant and yet scared. i think i'm worried about the fact that so far i've had nearly 2 hrs sleep tonight (11-1 am GMT) and that i've a 6 yr old to take care of in the morning and take her out for b'day treat tomorrow..not that i'm sure i'll mange what with all that is going on. i know it's a case of i have to but i am struggling so much with the night. in the last 3 days i've had so little sleep it's dangerous. i've tried everything known to assist me back to sleep but to no avail. please help, i'm only getting through this with the support of yourselves. i will lose everything if it was ever found out. i have to do this but i can't do it alone.

ahhh, i need help desperatley or at least some answers. i'm hoping you can help. i have beenaddicted to codiene and recently tapered myself right down. i was down to 6-8 tablets from 17 twice a day or there abouts at 30 mg then down to 15mg tablets, that was on sunday i manged for a few dys on solpadeine max but i am taking 3 tablets 4 times daily then two days ago i was ill and fainted and used my head as a break and now have a messed up face and sore head. i was given co-dydramol which i am nearly finished and now have to go back to the solpadeine. i don't want to but i am in my third trimester and i'm struggling with the withdrawal symptons. if i  continue to taper and brave out the current symptons am i going to be hit with a wall of severe withdrawal symptons. i can't go to the dr's as they all know me v.well and treat 2 other generations of my family plus people i work with the dr's so there is acess to my notes. i just want to know if i'm nearing the end of this or have i just begun? i don't want my baby born addicted and i recieve antenatal help at the hopsital where i work but there is no way i can discuss this other than with you. please help. i am not sleeping, i am restless, especially legs, no appetitie, hot, cold, diahorrea, depression, apathetic,lethargic and achy. when will it stop?

I wish I could send you some they were gorgeous! It amazes me that even in these tiny remote communities fresh stuff gets baked every day in the village.

Normally I eat a vegan diet, very wholefood, but because my weight it a bit of an issue at the moment and my insides a bit sore, I'm going with the flow of what I fancy! Nice position to be in even if for not so nice reason.

Does it help you at all that there is a natural healing process going on in your body and that whilst it may take a long time, and may never be quite right, it is likely that over time things will gradually improve? Or is all this just too much in the distance to be helpful to hold onto right now?

Just wanted to say that I actually read somewhere on this forum that in many cases the pain for which you initially were prescribed the medication often seemed to have lessened by the time you are through the withdrawals from taking the medication, so maybe it is as you say that you may have relaxed more when on tramadol for a number of months than you otherwise would have. At any rate it is wonderful if you also get the added bonus of less pain after having been through the horrible w/d.

I myself am feeling a bit better just like yesterday so I remain hopeful that the pain will be managable when I get off these wretched pills.

I wish I could go out for some real French croissants :-)

Minnie

    

Morning Minnie

Good to hear from you, glad you are still clear with your plans. My pain is manageable, I haven't taken anything chemical at all since a couple of paracetomol two days ago. this is a real surprise and one which I can't explain. I think the almost 3 months with the ease from the Tramadol must have allowed me to loosen up a bit and be less tense. Different for you with facial pain in that respect I guess. When the pain is really bothering me I try to concentrate on the fact that it is real, really me, not an altered drug state, and just accept it (welcome it? - not quite there yet!) as part of who I am, not fight it, not get wound up by it, breathe through it, distract myself.

In my days as a Specialist Nurse working with people with AIDS I met an african woman, very sick,  living in terrible circumstances. She had a fortitude and acceptance I have rarely seen. In the depths of what seemed to me to be intolerable one day she said 'every day it cannot be perfect'. I draw strength from her often, the acceptance that life isn't perfect and we don't have to expect it to be.

Sadly I confess to often railing against it all, getting angry and resentful and working myself into a frenzy .... but it works some of the time!

Sending love for a good day. I'm off to the village shop for croissants, I'm ravenous!

Good morning

It sure is nice that someone else - cupoftea and dhcdavid - are in the same timezone, as you can see that the forum is more or less asleep at this time.

I have been thinking of you, it means so much to have support in this situation, and I'm really pleased to hear that you are even better today, you must have an iron will, it's very impressive. But what about the pain now? Is it the same, or is it better? What do you do for pain management other than ibuprophene and the massage-thing? I have sometimes in England bought an over-the-counter painkiller that we don't have in Denmark, called Solpadeine max. It is just paracetalmol, but it does contain 13 mg of codeine which is the double amount compared to the combined paracetamol-codeine tablets you can get in Denmark. Would they help a little (and it surely would be hard to become addicted to this, as they contain so relatively little codeine), or are they just not strong/effective enough? I will keep my fingers crossed for next friday. By the way I will start my taper sunday instead of monday, as I otherwise won't have enough pills to last, so also keep your fingers crossed and please send me any tips you can think of.

If you see this - dhcdavid - could you tell me what the difference between dihydrocodeine and codeine is, if any? I think that is what you have to take, am I right?

Have a real good day
Minnie