Cocaine has control of me...

Question

How do I stop this awful addiction?  I know it is no good for me, but anticipation of the short lived high always seems to win.  After the high is done, the struggle to maintain it begins and I hate myself for being so weak.  Ive had a lot of very sressful circumstances in my life that let my defenses down to try it.  All of my "friends" at work told me it would help.  Knowing better deep inside I finally caved.  I thought I could control it.  I know I need to stop, but it always so readily available.  I need to quit my job to get away from it and start over again, to find myself again.  But how do I just quit my job when it is my family's main source of income?  I'm desperate, but I need to stop.  I hate myself for being weak.  If anyone can help, thank you.  And yes I know I shouldn't have started, and I take full responsibility.

mommaofpoobear · Answer

Icould be wrong but from what I've read I heard cocaine when snorted has about a 3 day w/d period, and less harsh than the w/d from pain killers... I don't know if that helps you at all, maybe you don't experiance w/d at all, I just thought I'd share with ya! :)

strugglintostop · Answer

I would like to quit right after I do it.  But then, As the normal routine of my day passes I begin to crave it, and I always give in.  I have read that sometimes the best thing you can do is take yourself away from wherever you get it, and for me that is work.  More coke runs through my job than anyplace I have ever seen.  Hell, it's where I started.  But  how can I quit and move on with a wife and small children?

Dpilot · Answer

I quit drinking 16 years ago. Went to methamphedamine in 2001. Before I learned how to cook my own Meth, I would use coke if I ran out. Currently it's pills. Actually, now I know it's also everything. Except I was only using pills "painkillers". But I do know how you feel.

strugglintostop · Answer

Thank You for taking the time to respond.  Coke is fun for a while, then when I'm coming down and the anxiety takes control and I can't sit still I find myself not there for my children or my wife.  I feel like I'm failing them, but the lure of the powder always seems to win.  I guess the great mood for a while keeps me coming back.  I have long suffered from depression, so the euphoric high is so welcome.  I wish I knew how to feel it without feeling guilty and dirty.  I also had a back injury a few years back and find myself still taking a hydrocodone or two everyday.  I know the addictive gene is in my family.  I beat the alcohol addiction, but others seem to take its place.  I don't know if I can ever win this fight.  I feel a little hopeless at this point.

LadySundown · Answer

You're not hopeless. First you have to decide if you would really like to quit. If you do then you're at the right place here. There are some nice people on this forum. Next is how do you want to quit. Taper or c/t?? It's hard to taper coke so c/t might be best. There was another new person here earlier asking how to stop coke. If you read the posts you will find it.

I wish you the best.....LS

LadySundown · Answer

Hello and Welcome,

Don't blame yourself on a mistake that was made in the past. You can't change it now. You're in the right place to get help here.We are all addicts but in your case the high doesn't last long at all. 

There are people here who can give you a lot of options on how to w/d from the coke. Some go cold turkey and some taper. Personally, in your case it would almost have to be c/t. There are things to help you through it, and if I'm not mistaken, though the w/d isn't fun....it's not as long as some drugs.

Keep posting and Take Care....LS

Dpilot · Answer

You may have to quit you're job maybe not. Somewhere in AA book is says we were ready to go to any length. Depending on how much you want to be sober compaired to how much you want to do the coke.  I personally was a big meth head and I LOST my job and everything else I had, including wife, vehicles, boat, home, literally everything I had would fit into the 1 pickup truck I had left. That was 6 years ago and I have it all back now except wife and didn't want her anyway HaHa. I am here cause now I have a problem with pain pills and realized it before it got out of control. This time I get to keep everything including great Fiencee or however you spell that word for engaged girlfriend.
I go to Meetings [AA and NA]. You might try them. There are also some CA meetings. You are lucky you realize it BEFORE you lose everything. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it.

Cocaine has control of me...

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