I dont know why but for some reason today after giving my lawyer the money to get her served with divorce papers and going to her work where she is a medical assistant and handing her some mail and a letter I wrote her last night. its funny i got a call from her boyfriend who said stop bugging her she does not want you anymore so leave her alone. it saddens me that this guy shes which has no idea what the married women that he took from me is about to drop in his lap. she has him fooled, and got his wish and Im now completely letting go of her. I got a call from him tonight to stop witting dumb ass letters
here is the letter that for some reason god woke me up last night to write her. to be only ridiculed by her boyfriend. he is an acaholic and also an adict. so they will be perfect for each other.

This is the last time you will hear from me Christine.
When you came back to me 3 weeks ago it took everything I had to take you back I knew in my heart that if i took you back I was in taking a big chance, but I guess god wanted to teach me a big lesson. there was a 80 year old women who just so happened to walk out of her home yesterday when I found are car. She was ANGEL with a message no doubt in my mind. she saw me in total despair upset and lost with tears coming out of eyes. She walked up and gave me a hug and told me its not worth it and you tried everything you could.She went down the wrong path and you can stop it. So let the past go and start living your life again. she told the story of her all her grand kids who a couple are past away and the others are in prison over drugs and acahol. As I read the letter from mike that was in plain veiw perfect view when I walked up to the car it dawned on me that this was dilibretly done for me to see. even the CHP said that this was not stolen it was left here. there was nothing they could do. everything she had was still in the car and even money was laying in the trunk and that never happens. So he took the fake license plate off the car that was a persons car in brentwood and left.
I gave my heart to you and so did my children especially chelsi she spent that sat and sun with me last weekend to help me through this she asked me dad I can belive she did this to you after all you did for her. All I could think about is you telling me you needed to spend and make up for the things you did to loose the love of your kids you called them your angels. GOD has told me that you have made a Giant mistake in your life and after reading the letter and it telling me you were with this man on the first night of your work when dinner was ready told me that I am totally powerless over this. The man that wrote the letter(mike)called me a ***** because a man threated the lives of my children. In the way just in the letter that he speaks to you is very disturbing and I thought of you more to not have a person like that in your life. I have never cheated on you christine and I have always been been true to you. I want to say Im so sorry for getting your parent involved but your dad and mom understand. they love me very much and I love them. they are kinda  parents I never had. your mom is an angel specially dealing with what has gone on with her. She given me huge strength. In the letter mike says I was drunk sorry for calling I thought you would after we did the things we did last night which was the Monday when you came in and took a shower. If he cares about you like I do which I can tell he dosent just because of his drinking.  I took my depression medication that you say I need so bad but 3 days later i couldnt even work it made me so dizzy I fell over standing at work yesterday. and todd gave me a ride home. I have no choice now but to get on with my Great life that I have in front of me. For GOD has made me feel like I have had a death in my family and I have lost my truly best friend that I would have died for. GOD woke me up at 200 am in the morning to put these word in this letter. Im am now moving on with my life for it will be a struggle but ill make it through this. I will not take you Back for you will never see my children you called your own. You have chosen the man that has thretand my children lives when he was drunk. the man that told me he dosent drink. and the man that has stolen my own car from the women that he says he loves to make me look bad. For he will not help you in your sobriety or addiction for this seamed to be the most important thing to you. but i guess it wasn't meant be for you. he has already taken something from you and you don't even know it. Its called a SOUL. You have chosen the life with the devil and you will see no more angels for that was a gift he only gave to myself and you together. For thats when we had GREAT POWER TOGETHER.
this the last correspondence that I will have with you Christine for its time for me to move on. Please don't ever call me or ever try to contact me, for I will never contact you. I am friends with your parent for ever so, please let me have that. Myself and and your mom have a special bond together she is an amazing women.                  

GOOD BYE, CHRISTINE AND GOOD LUCK   ps: my lawyer will be contacting you to serve you this week so please lets get this over with fast.

  I don't know if you have thoughts of taking her back?? I am not an addict or alcoholic.  I have been in one marraige and one relationship after my divorce with another. I do sympathize with you more than with her. I am very sympathetic to people with addictions, but on the other hand, I do feel there are limits. I think we the people in relationships with addicts have to have bounderies. When I left my ex-husband, it was a very rough time. Sad,lonely, scared,poor. I didn't know how I would ever be happy alone.I went to a divorced and separated support group for a few years, that helped me walk through it one day at a time. Then I about 3 years later, I fell in love with a man, head over heels,it turned out he was addicted to cocaine (snorted). I did not know this until about a year later. Even though I loved him, I ended the relationship. I missed him for about 2 years, just miserable without him. I will never ever let myself be in love with an addict or alcoholic as a partner in my life. I would rather be alone with friendships. Unfortunatly my daughter 22 yrs is a heroine addict,presently in rehab. You may be afraid not to accept responsibility for your wifes debt,because of the trouble she may get in (jail). My daughter got in trouble felony charges, that is the only reason she is in rehab. Maybe being held responsible for her crimes is saving her life. There are people that can forgive cheating, especially if they feel the drugs made her do it. I personally could not. It is not about forgiving for me, I just could never forget it and get on with a good relationship after that. Maybe I'm too insecure for that sort of thing, I don't know. My heart goes out to you, I wish you all the best in this tough road. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, if you choose it. You must make good decisions for yourself. She needs to do the same. You cannot accept responsibility for her, no guilt or shame. She must face the consequences for her actions and hope that she sees the light. You can not make her see things, she has to wake up herself. I don't think you can be partners in healing. I also hope that she gets healthy with or without you. I will say a big prayer for you and her.

HEY HUN!!!!!!!!!!! How are you??? Seems to me you are doing great! Awesome positive attitude I hear from you. And you taking care of YOU....I remember a little birdy giving you that advice not long ago, LOL.
J/K...but I am glad to see you still here with us, and glad to see you seem to be doing well!

Huggs hun, hope to chat with you soon!
Tracy

HI hun;
I am so sorry to hear of your sorrow...it makes my heart hurt for you just reading it. I agree with everyone else who has responded..and sadly enough she has to come to the realization that these pills are no good, and or come to her bottom, which sadly again sounds as if that may be happening with the charges pending against her. IF she does go to jail, you need to prepare yourself for how you will handle things when she comes back around, because trust me I KNOW she will. But you have to take care of you like blitz said...and I know you love her and it would be great to have her back again...just remember she has to  ADMIT and then COMMIT to getting herself better as well. I am not saying to ignore her completely, but making her realize what she has done is sometimes what it takes to open someones eyes. I aldo truly beleive she will regret her choices, but you can't bank on that either. Your #1 right now..and she will have learned a hard lesson when this is all said and done. Know it is not your fault, and it is the drugs that are doing this really and not her. But also don't give in too fast, like I said sometimes it takes being tough even though your heart is breaking.
Stay here with us on the site and talk as much as you need to hun...we all are here for you. And it WILL get better.
Huggs
Tracy

Hello Galen
Im so sorry to hear of your situation,I can relate to you,my wife just walked out on our relationship,not with another man but with a little white devel. The first thing you have to know is it is not at all your fault!addiction is a very mind bending thing,I know that does not make the sorrow go away. The way I cope with it is to think I dont like the person she has become it helps to let her go,IF she comes back to herself maybe we could have a good life again,but until then I dont want the person she has become,I want the person she was,the only person that can change that is her. Take care of YOU first! set your sights on the good things to come,you must be well before you can help anybody. Come to this sight and talk to people they are great and will help you to better understand addiction. It is a very lonly walk to loose someone to a demon like this but if you walk long enough you will meet happiness again !

Well spoken Grace

dude I really feel bad for you.
There will be some cops and judges coming soon.
I hope you don't have any kids, if so protect them.

I feel awful, I honestly want to cry for you.  I remember the pain of my husband leaving last May (he came home to give us a try 3 months later), but my god, I don't have to share with you the emptiness.  Only my emptiness was because of me, I put it there, I pushed him away.  Of course that doesn't make the pain of loosing someone you love so much any less.  I am sure your wife still loves you, and if she was alone with time to think she would be missing you.  Sadly enough misery loves company and well obviously her new rehab buddy seems to enjoy not being alone when throwing himself off the wagon.  It is so much more fun ot drag someone down with you.... Ugggghhhh  

If you just need to talk or vent, please do.  It's important for us to hear what our loved ones have or are going through while dealing with our dirty little secret. I know mine didn't plan on spending our years together like this and I feel so crappy thinking I have interjected this misery into our lives.

WOW

I would wash my hands with that, your living a nighmare.
The judical system almost has her it sounds like she will be in jail soon.
Sorry dude she is going to crash and burn sometimes you have to let things happen.

good luck to ya

It is really hard to stomach my best friend in the whole world being gone and being with a guy who has met addiction and alcohol problems. its like all of a sudden the devil got into her soul in the last 2 months. as soon as she met this guy in detox. well thank you for your reply. not sure how i am going deal with loosing her but I guess in have to move on with my life. It just makes me sick. I heard she was at a guys home the other night with this guy whom is nothing but bad news. he asked my friend, is Christine going to go back to her husband you think? my friend said to him yes she will. 4 hours later her car was stolen from a motel room i guess they were staying at. I believe he did this to her to make her stay with him, and get her to believe I did such terrible thing. so she would hate me.
   this is just unbelievable. I am sure he is also giving her pills so will keep staying with him. i know this is not my wife your right she is not even in her own body. she would have never done anything like this before the pills came into her life

((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

This addiction is an awful, wicked demon. I am so sorry for the pain you are going through in your seperation.  I myself am pushing my husband away and didn't even realize it.  Had no idea that the meds changed your personality, it seems like it all happens so slow that you don't even recognize it.  You just start to feel more and more tension in the home.  More fights, the addict holding in resentment, the spouse not knowing it, over time it just all builds up.  You mentioned the Bay area I am assuming this is Ca.  As a fellow cali resident that pushed my hubby out the door last summer I learned a lot about our beautiful state.  First we are a no fault state, look into how you may be protected through our state.  

I know it's hard, the woman you love seems to have changed and you don't understand it.  We marry for better or worse and when these pills take over the ones we love the worse is far more than we would have ever expected.  When my husband sat on the floor this morning holding me as i was an emotional mess, it was way more than he every expected when signing up for this marriage 16 years ago.  Until the addict wants help, there is not much the loved ones can do unfortunetly.  Sure we can fake it, heck we are often good at it, I mean really if we can lie to ourselves what makes you think we won't find it so easy to lie to everyone around us.  I am terribly sorry that you are looking around at the pieces left behind, I can't imagine the frusteration of having to take on the burden of an addicts mess.  This is an amazing board, you will find a lot of love and insight to an addicts mind.  Scary that we are like one large person.