Aa
so depressed!
what a morning...
bright and early this morning i had to go to my mother's house and physically throw my son, and what little personal possessions he has, out the door. (this is the C/M addict). everyone has one, and SHE is his enabler...she thinks she can love him clean and sober. he doesn't work, lays up in the bed with his g/f all day (and yes my mom has told him that they cannot do that), steals money from her purse, steals checks and forges them...too much to name. my mother is 76 years old and is by herself now...my father passed away 8 months ago...they were married 51 years! of course things have gotten worse since his death...not only is she mourning his death but also her life...but the sad thing is that she just keeps giving. she calls me every day crying about my son but didn't want me to do anything about it...this is our conversations...WHERE WILL HE LIVE? (wherever) HOW WILL HE EAT? (whatever) IF I PUT HIM OUT HE'LL SELL DRUGS TO MAKE MONEY,(that's his choice) HE'LL STEAL AND GET CAUGHT (sure will). oh, he'll find some thug to live with and if he stays out of jail long enough he'll start moving his things back in to her house...and she'll let him...it's a vicious cycle. he is my son and i LOVE HIM deep within the depths of my heart. it hurts me to have to put him out BUT he was given the chance to turn his life around. HE CHOSE NOT TO EVEN TRY.
bright and early this morning i had to go to my mother's house and physically throw my son, and what little personal possessions he has, out the door. (this is the C/M addict). everyone has one, and SHE is his enabler...she thinks she can love him clean and sober. he doesn't work, lays up in the bed with his g/f all day (and yes my mom has told him that they cannot do that), steals money from her purse, steals checks and forges them...too much to name. my mother is 76 years old and is by herself now...my father passed away 8 months ago...they were married 51 years! of course things have gotten worse since his death...not only is she mourning his death but also her life...but the sad thing is that she just keeps giving. she calls me every day crying about my son but didn't want me to do anything about it...this is our conversations...WHERE WILL HE LIVE? (wherever) HOW WILL HE EAT? (whatever) IF I PUT HIM OUT HE'LL SELL DRUGS TO MAKE MONEY,(that's his choice) HE'LL STEAL AND GET CAUGHT (sure will). oh, he'll find some thug to live with and if he stays out of jail long enough he'll start moving his things back in to her house...and she'll let him...it's a vicious cycle. he is my son and i LOVE HIM deep within the depths of my heart. it hurts me to have to put him out BUT he was given the chance to turn his life around. HE CHOSE NOT TO EVEN TRY.
So I hope this isnt the 20 yr old who said he was clean for 14 months... I hope
You said you had three sons,....
Whats going on Liz???
You said you had three sons,....
Whats going on Liz???
no it's not...thank god...he's at work. this is my 29 year old crystal meth addict that i was talking to dpilot about when everything got so whacky here on the forum. he's been on C/M for about 10 years...rehab...jail...jail...jail. each time my mother lets him move back in. he is killing her and draining her emotionally and financially...SHE CANNOT SAY NO
I have only read breif posts about your situation....and girl...You are doing the best you can......and what you can!! I know its rough and wow If I can pin point everytime I made my own mother cry......over my drug use.......We dont realize in active addiction
All you can do, is what you can for yourself, your playing the tough love role....and thats understandable and its rough, and it has up and down days like it is for addicts...but stay here...come vent and just having someone to talk to maybe be enough!! For today!!
All you can do, is what you can for yourself, your playing the tough love role....and thats understandable and its rough, and it has up and down days like it is for addicts...but stay here...come vent and just having someone to talk to maybe be enough!! For today!!
Have you ever heard of the Search program?
Does your son have any pending court dates?
Does your son have any pending court dates?
no i haven't heard of it...where is it? he just got out of bradford health in birmingham, alabama about 4 months ago...typical short term...21 days...kind of an ER mentality...treat em and street em.
he doesn't have any court dates but he is on probation...
he doesn't have any court dates but he is on probation...
in my opinion you did the right thing. i was a heroin addict from ages 15-19 it took people throwing me out on my ass to get off the drugs. its tough but it has to be done. when i had no one else to help me it was time to help myself. they also tell the people on the show Intervention the same thing. you have to draw your line and get better yourself.
oh, i kicked him out at 18 with nothing but the clothes on his back...haven't taken him back in since. spent years going through the juvenile system with him and as soon as he was an adult, out the door he went. i had done all that i could do...spent all the money i was going to spend...cried all that i was going to cry. i told him that if he wanted to be a drug addict, then he was going to have to live like one...no more comforts of home
For some of us (me) hard core cases. Remember the devil is very strong and to be "consumed" by cocaine and meth laying in bed with the devil. The devil to your son is no match. Not only is he an addict but his thinking processes are very distorted. He can no longer help himself!
Search is in Ohio but Judges can order convicted felons to a 6 month very intense drug and distorted behavior rehab where if he failed to complete would put him in jail.
Sometimes addiction is so powerful our brain has to be reprogramed. He will continue to lie, manipulate, and steal from loved ones. If not stopped he will destroy the family and if allowed Bankrupt the families finances.
Unfortunaly you have no other choice but tough love and to protect the rest of your family from your son, I understand the magnitude of my statements here Liz, and it will probably hurt you to read this. I have always said two things I believe strongly in recovery and honesty and I will always be consistant!!!
I am here for you liz,,I was your son. the only difference was our drug of choice...
Search is in Ohio but Judges can order convicted felons to a 6 month very intense drug and distorted behavior rehab where if he failed to complete would put him in jail.
Sometimes addiction is so powerful our brain has to be reprogramed. He will continue to lie, manipulate, and steal from loved ones. If not stopped he will destroy the family and if allowed Bankrupt the families finances.
Unfortunaly you have no other choice but tough love and to protect the rest of your family from your son, I understand the magnitude of my statements here Liz, and it will probably hurt you to read this. I have always said two things I believe strongly in recovery and honesty and I will always be consistant!!!
I am here for you liz,,I was your son. the only difference was our drug of choice...
when he went into rehab a few months ago i asked his probation officer if he could go out of the state to a long term program i wanted to send him to...her response was "HELL NO HE CAN'T GO TO UTAH, DO I HAVE STUPID STAMPED ON MY FACE, I'M NOT LOOSING MY JOB OVER HIM" i told her that was strange because i had another son who was in new mexico at a long term treatment facility and his probation officer had gotten it court ordered...at our asking him to do. she then said, "I'M NOT YOUR OTHER SON'S PO". never thought about going to the judge. thank you for the info...i will research the program and see what i think...ya know the biggest obstacle here is Christian (my son)...nothing will ever work unless he wants it to work...i think he truly enjoys his life. let me take that back...the "addicted son" enjoys his life...the "sober" son does not...but those times are few and far between
if possible like beach said, go over the PO's head. they are supposed to do whats best for their client. if you think this treatment is the best option then try to talk to the judge. going away for a few months can do wonders. the last time i went to treatment it was only for 14 days.. i was on methadone for 9 of those days. didn't give me enough time to be ready. longer term intensive treatment is awesome if its available.
Liz, in the interests of you son do me a favor and write a case load specialist at Search. Below I will give you his address at Search.
His name is Bob Vickery, I hated the ******* when I first went to Search and he put me through the worst hell of my life to make me look at myself and understand how I was so screwed up. He tried his best to break me down, I fought him. He tried his best to humilate me..I fought. He brought my family (mother and sister) into it and again I fought..he threatened to throw me out and brought in my PO there for an intervention, then infront of my treatment team. He finally got through and something triggered something in my brain that was buried so deep in my brain.
This man saved my life.
You can cut and past this on your letter to Mr. Vickery with your story. He needs help (your son) and it is possible Bob Vickery could help him.
I would get his opinion on the court system and the possiblity of him attending Search.
Another thing Bob Vickery has a son doing prison time right now for the exact same drugs and story as your son.
If nothing else he might be able to advise you to some options for treatment.
Search (NWCCC)
1740 E. GYPSY LANE RD. BOWLING GREEN, OH 43402
Att: Bob Vickery
TEL: 419-354-7444 FAX: 419-354-7445
His name is Bob Vickery, I hated the ******* when I first went to Search and he put me through the worst hell of my life to make me look at myself and understand how I was so screwed up. He tried his best to break me down, I fought him. He tried his best to humilate me..I fought. He brought my family (mother and sister) into it and again I fought..he threatened to throw me out and brought in my PO there for an intervention, then infront of my treatment team. He finally got through and something triggered something in my brain that was buried so deep in my brain.
This man saved my life.
You can cut and past this on your letter to Mr. Vickery with your story. He needs help (your son) and it is possible Bob Vickery could help him.
I would get his opinion on the court system and the possiblity of him attending Search.
Another thing Bob Vickery has a son doing prison time right now for the exact same drugs and story as your son.
If nothing else he might be able to advise you to some options for treatment.
Search (NWCCC)
1740 E. GYPSY LANE RD. BOWLING GREEN, OH 43402
Att: Bob Vickery
TEL: 419-354-7444 FAX: 419-354-7445
on your computer go to NWCCC.com
and do some research and maybe print some stuff in your
Endeavors with the judical system.
Any questions I'm here for you.....
and do some research and maybe print some stuff in your
Endeavors with the judical system.
Any questions I'm here for you.....
thank you so much for the info. i will be doing some research soon. will let you know of progress
Its not much from me but, I hope for the best for your son.
There is always a chance of a turn around if he ever wakes up.
There is always a chance of a turn around if he ever wakes up.
hi liz.i was ordered by the courts to complete a 6 month treatment program.i did as i was told and was resentful the whole way thru.needless to say i had a needle in my arm within hours of getting out.175 days clean.the longest sobriety id ever had since i was 14 down the tube coz i was angry.i hope things r different 4 u.
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