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I am DREAMING

For real, I had a dream and woke up laughing.  I haven't dreamed in years, I laughed my ass off.  Can't even remember when I have been this clear.  Anyone ever feel like "things can't be this good" so something bad is about to happen I'm sure.

Anyway, wanted to tell you I am OK.  Not doing a darn thing though, but I guess I'll be a vegetable instead of an addict today.  Got some smoke though and I know that is cheating.  An extremely small amount...but face it, i just am glad i haven't gone the other route.

Hope you are all in the good fight.  Day six... with weed though.
Peace~

I think I am still avoiding tackling the "damage" done by all this use.  I don't feel like this is real yet.  Almost predicting (expecting?) to fail.  Is it just comfortable to fail?  If I don't fail I must move on.  What a concept...that is more work than staying stuck in this "comfort" isn't it?  Sorry...really rambling...am I really healing or just playin the game.  

Kinda just depressed myself!...sorry I do this to you guys...I am on a rollercoaster right now.  Wish I could snap my fingers and this part is over. ha
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182493 tn?1348052915
We all feel the ups and downs, some of us only document the downs.. Its great to hear about your ups..and downs of your new sobriety. if being a veggie today is all you can do, then thats that. Don't worry bout it.. take care of yourself. And hell a little smoke isn't gonna kill ya.. I don't think its cheating. You are doing it Creek. i am proud.. you have come along way in the past couple days..
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Avatar universal
I don't cry, but I cried at the TV while my boys were watching Anastasia today. I don't remember why ...
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Avatar universal
Hey .......I totally hear you about the smoke...I dont know what I would do without it...I know what happens with out...I am so sick right now...

I dont know if that is wds or cuz im really sick..I think Im really sick....hola...hanna....lol..

Anyways, I just wanted to touch base adn I am so proud of you right now!! Its great 6 straight days...wikked....

and if you do fall....you wont fail, you will pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and carry on......But until then..enjoy what you are experiencing....Lord only knows youve had enough rough days that you deserve a good one!!
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Avatar universal
Wow...you really have come a long way...you sound so different on your posts...even though it's a rollercoaster, there are more ups than when you on those pills and obsessing about how many are left.

You're really doing it...if smoking a little pot helps...sounds good...it'll take the edge off!  

Great job Creek...I'm really proud of you!  Don't worry about slipping....you cross that bridge IF you come to it!
Peace, Marcie
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Avatar universal
LoL -- Did you send me some weird vibes? I too had a dream last night. I don't remember what it was about, but I do remember dreaming something when I woke up. I never mentioned it to anyone before, but it was bothering me - I feared I wasn't getting any REM sleep. I'm hoping for another tonight. :)
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