share away...

It is true that a very few AA groups are hostile to addicts, wanting to make their meetings alcoholic-only.  However, have never been to such a meeting.  I have heard of one such group in the two cities where I have gone to meetings, so I stayed away from THAT group.  I currently go to 6 different AA meetings each week, which is down from the average of 8-10/week that I maintained from 6/05 to 2/06.  So even though I avoid the group that frowns on addicts, I suffer from no dearth of meetings.  I could go to many more addict-friendly AA meetings in this area, as the frowning group hosts only 3 or 4 out of about 75+ scheduled meeting a week, but I don't have time.  

I have never hidden the fact of my drug addiction at AA meetings.  Rather, I have always talked openly and freely about the fact that I became addicted to Rx's pain meds and that after *that* addiction was a well established wild fire, I switched to being a crack addict.  This has been true for me at AA meetings in two different states, in cities 6 hours drive apart.

I have found AA to be an open, loving and accepting fellowship, in which most members make no distinction as to what mood-altering substance other members liked to apply directly to the brain.  I would not have made it this far in my recovery without AA and but for my Recovery I would be dead or in prison.  I would hate to think that some similar addict might not find Recovery because they were afraid to find out if AA was the place for them.  

I have been to many NA meetings, but that fellowship has just not done it for me.  The program is virtually identical to AA, as can be seen if you compare the 12 Steps at aa.org and na.org.  However, I find that I feel less comfortable at N.A. despite the fact that more people there have personal experience with my Drug of Choice.  I am able to better relate at A.A.

AA's Third Tradition states: "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking."  

NA's program statement asserts: "This is a program of complete abstinence from all drugs."  NA's "How It Works," states: "Before we came to NA, many of us viewed alcohol separately, but we cannot afford to be confused about this. Alcohol is a drug."

Thus, if a person is following NA's program, that person will have a desire to stop drinking.  Accordingly, that person will be fully eligible for membership in AA, since they meet its "ONLY" requirement for membership.  

Thank you.  I have been picking beach's brain about this na stuff.  Some people have shared their feelings and I have been reading a lot about it.  I see your feeling and I am glad you have found your spot in AA meetings.   Don't let those frowners get you down.  

Congratulations on your continued recovery. You make me inspired today and that is great to hear about.  Would you reccommend someone who wants to try an NA meeeting but would not EVER do it in my comunity to go on-line for a meeting?  

Beach is doing next thurs.  Enables me to go, but not really go  ??   Get it?  Do you think that is effective.  Would a better idea be to go to another community if I have honesty issues and would be scared to death of someone seeing me.  Thats really my question,,,do you have to experience THAT PART.  The NA internet meeting is still ananomous..sort of...  

Hope you understand my rambling today.  I am on  a short fuse, really anxious today.  (day 8)  almost certain I will not make the week.  DOn't think I give myself a chance before I **** it all up again.  

Thanks for listening.  

When you say you went to so many meetings for that year...could you get the same results in your opinion in an internet group?  All is worth trying I am sure, but I am really interested in everyone's experience with meetings.  I just have never been to one.

P.S. Is this a history making on-line NA meeting on Thursday or is this done elsewhere,through NA, on-line.  Do you know?

I'm sure that on-line meetings, just like this forum, can be a significant help.  There are MANY available.  For example, for NA meetings on-line look at http://www.narecovery.org/nameetinglocator.html
(type WEB for the country).  For AA meetings on-line you might try:
http://aa-intergroup.org/directories/email_english.html

There are many other on-line meetings out there.  

I do not believe that on-line meetings are likely to yield the same results as in-person meetings.  I think it presents an apt analogy to ask if an on-line date would be just as good as an in-person date.  

Part of the deal with the Disease of Addiction is that it thrives in secrecy, isolation, shame and denial.  Forums, such as this, and on-line meetings no doubt help to chip away at some of these issue.  However, I can't see how they could foster the unguarded-relationships and accountability that seems to be necessary for most to reach sustained Recovery.  

I have been taught that every member of AA or NA should have a "home group" - a metting that you essentially join as if it were a club and show up to week after week, without fail.  The reason for that is so there will be a group of people who really get to know you, that you feel comfortable with, and who will be able to spot it if/when you're starting to get off balance.  Part of the problem is that addicts (or alcoholics) don't always want to admit when their not doing too well.  After we get past the initial desperation of early recovery, where we feel/think we're about to die, we start getting back things like PRIDE and a need for DIGNITY.  

Here's a post from me that's in the archives at www.medhelp.org/forums/addiction/messages/31581a.html
=======================================
catuf
1/18/2003
C4  .
Hello All -- I haven't been here in a while. Just thought I'd stop and say hi. All is well.
catuf
========================================

That post was a LIE.  All was not well. I had relapsed and was snorting lines of crushed hydro as I logged on to MedHelp.  But I didn't feel like I could admit to that.  It had been bad enough to admit failure at 30 days that spring and almost 30 that summer, how could I admit failure AGAIN at almost 60 days when I had SWORN to myself and God and to the fine folks on this Forum that *this time* was going to be different - after they had all helped me through and cheered my success . . .  

I couldn't and I didn't.  I lied about it and didn't show up anymore.  Had I been going to live meetings people may well have seen me getting out of whack BEFORE the relapse.  If not, they seem to be pretty good at spotting someone who needs a kind word after a relapse (which no one give grief about).

I have to leave w/i about 1 minute.  So, to the extent this is just rambling or has horrible typos, unfinished sentences, etc. please forgive

Thanks so much.  I get what you are saying.  And yes, this forum may "chip away" at me, but in reality I will still twist it as to not dissapoint you...the forum, and with getting to know a group of "us" and I do mean that, "US", we can better spot one another...I think that is the jist of your letter. Then ofcourse I assume you and your sponser become close and that person becomes your lifeline.  Who chooses those people?  Do I?

Still means I have to fess up to someone and look them in the eye doesn't it?

Thanks for the dialouge today. appreciate it.

Peace~