checking in...having a bad day

Question

just checking in on everyone. i'm not doing so well today, due to some issues with my b/f. spent yesterday angry, last night at work couldnt focus and woke up this morning just depressed. 

i wont go into the details of our problems, lets just say he hurt me and my recovery. i was doing sooo good, until yesterday.
so i woke up this morning and popped 2 pills. WTF am i thinking??? as soon as i did it i regretted it. i know all to well my "triggers" and anger and depression are 2 of them. GUILT is my main one. so i SLIPPED!!!! i've been doing alot of thinking this morning and refuse to let this slip destroy my progress, i've come to far to keep messing it up. i cried thinking of seeing my girls in March, and not being at my goal when i do. this has been my main motivation throughout.

i hope everyone else is having a good day. i've read some pretty good posts. 
you should all be very proud of yourselves.

FLaddict · Answer

we are all bound to have a slip now and then. just dont beat yourself up over it. you have been doing so great lately. just pick yourself up dust yourself off and get back to business.

tink1517 · Answer

how true your words are, of course easier said than done.
i am how ever making my mind stay POSITIVE, i even took out pictures of my girls and have been watching some of the video clips they sent me. Right now i would be so much happier if i could just pick them up and squeze them forever.... 

positivity is a struggle today, but w/ everyones support i no I CAN DO THIS....

luv ya, 
tink

Roofus44 · Answer

Hey Tink,

I know it's hard. There were times I "slipped" when trying to quit. I gradually stopped taking my pills...had a half of a one left - for my piece of mind, and hubby took that from me on Saturday. He has the rest of them at his office. I can't get to them, which is a good thing. Do you have any more left? If so, flush them. Keep one or two just because - it will help you mentally. It did me. Knowing that if I just absolutely had to have one, it was there...but then I never took it cause I knew it was my last one and I would be thinking to myself "I'll save this, it (life thoughts etc) might get worse and I'll need it more then." 

I'm praying for you Tink. :)

tink1517 · Answer

thank you for your support and prayers. i'm usaully a positive person. i guess today is one of those days life is come down on me. i keep telling myself "baby steps" i know i'll get there

ScottQuit021907 · Answer

Hang in there and don't give up ... keep thinking about those kids - that's a big piece of my motivation!

AddictedLovers · Answer

hey sweetie...i know you know this already...but DO NOT let anyone stand in the way of your recovery...granted i dont know what you guys wnet through yesterday...but i do know i wouldnt even let my husband get in my way to recovery...i am praying for you...and from your comments you seem to realize that yes, this was just a slip, and not a fall off the wagon...

good news here...got appt for us both on thur...wow...i see a light...i know some may say this is a chicken way out, but for my girls sakes this is the best thing for us...they say we must be in full w/ds...so im taking what i have today and thats it...

all i can say is wow...i get to join that glorious club of maybe actually helping someone on here instead of always asking for help...

good luck today...we have league tonight, but i will check back in later to see how you are doing...

love, natasha

checking in...having a bad day

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