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Addicted to Pain Meds - But Alternative seems poor too - What is my fate ?

I am a ball of pain. Degen disks in lower back, hand pain, elbow pain, and joint pain in legs. I started taking the pain meds to get me through needed tasks and days where I had to get work done.  I found it helped with my low level depression as well as lowered my blood pressure, which I had heard that pain contributes to the onset of blood pressure issues.

I am not taking the meds to get 'high'.  Although feeling better with them, yes, and there is some degree of 'well-being' that comes with taking Hydrocodone and Oxycodone.  It many ways this is a miracle drug for me.  Except one fact:  I am addicted.  Addicted for me means that I get typical symptons after 12 hours or so off of the drug (headaches, bowel symptoms, depression, hot flashes, and leg pain). I do feel like I can weather the storm of getting off off them.
I am hard to resist getting off of these, and should I get off of them?  That is the question I am asking.  I feel that I may have to manage pain with meds for the rest of my life.  So - am I in a normal position?  Should I look at the addiction as a normal side effect.  I am getting the meds legally, and I'm not planning to try other narcotics.  They don't get me 'high' as in "sit back an enjoy the ride" and I don't take them as recreational drugs.  They make my life tolerable, at least for now, until I can find other solutions.  I hate being in this position. What I am to do?
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Avatar universal
I have had severe pain since I was 6, increasing by age 10 and now less frequent but fairly bad when it happens at 24, from my spinal cord and migraine and scoliosis. I get times where the pain is so incredibly intolerable that smashing my knee actually was the only thing that gave me enough endorphins to tolerate it. I also tried twice to knock myself unconscious when I was younger. Very stupid. At some point I began teaching myself how to 'beleive' that pain is 'just a feeling' and I can decide whether it is a 'bad' or 'good' feeling and trying to sort of hypnotise myself into believing it was 'nothing' and it didn't take long before it started working quite well, but unfortunately that will only work if you have no responsibilities and can sit in a dark corner throwing yourself into a brainless trance all day. Now I take percocet and I get tolerance regularly but I have a regular system where I only take out 25-50 from the pharmacy at a time and set dates where I have to wait before I am allowed to get more. I only get a small withdrawal here and there. And it sounds kind of lame and crappy, but compared to if I didn't have the pills at all, I have way more functional days in my life. Yeah, some days I will have run out and have to cope with some pain but its less days rather than more days. That's life i guess. I also take toradol and baclofen almost every day but they often are not enough which is why I have the narcotic medication on hand, although they are not addictive.
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82861 tn?1333453911
Depends.  Are you looking for more drugs because your pain is undertreated?  Or are you looking for the buzz?  Yes, your behavior is problematic in that you maybe did not tell your doc your current dosage isn't working, and instead went outside "the system" to get more.  Only you can answer that question.
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Avatar universal
to Marce4 - what was your solution (if found).  How did you cope with losing the extra bonus of 'well being'?
You see, I think I would recoup a lot of the well being if I could just be without as much pain.  I would certainly settle for that.
thanks again
t
Helpful - 0
82861 tn?1333453911
Please try to understand there is a huge difference between "physical dependance" and "addiction".  It sounds like you are taking your meds responsibly, and they are helping you function, so I don't see that you have any kind of problem here.  Physial dependance is a normal part of opiate therapy.  Addiction is a mental problem.  If you were taking more and more meds trying to get high, then yes, you'd have a big problem, but I'm not hearing that all from you.

Since you seem to be really bothered with the dependancy issues, you might consult a pain psychologist.  No, you're not crazy!  A pain shrink can help you find different ways of coping with your pain so you may find you won't even need to take as many meds.  Can't hurt, might help.  :-)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi and welcome to the forum...this is a great place to be! Please do not take offense to what I'm about to say.  I too was taking them for legitimate pain...the feeling of "well-being" was an added bonus for me.  I was on them for 2 1/2 yrs and started out taking 3-4 a day and then I wasn't getting that same "good" feeling. I wasn't taking them for the "ride" I was taking them to function...to be supermom....work...soccer coach...on several boards at school.  It sounds like you are responsible but it does really sneak up on you easily! When your whole life begins to center around the little devils and how many you have or you being to self medicate, it's time to take an honest look at where you are.  Again, I'm noone to judge you, I'm just seeing myself in you and just asking you if there may be other alternatives to narcotics.  I have started Yoga, take 800 mg ibuprofen/ walk/hot tub...We are all here to listen and to help. So please understand why I ask these question.
Peace,
Marcie
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Avatar universal
thanks again for the comments.  Hot tub is coming within the next month, thankfully to wife wanting it and also in consideration for myself (we are not rich and had to give up on some other plans for the tub, but think we chose well for the immediate future).  I have some plans for extra stretching and the like as well.  I used to stretch and use an exercise ball - but it really did not help my back as wanted.  I am going to hit that option hard again (if I can).  All of the docs say 'no - we won't operate -you are not a candidate for that.  But I swear - there are days I feel like a disabled person physically.

You see, I am only 42, and have been very active.  But I had no idea how arthitis and joint pain would swoop in on me in these last 18 months.  I went from a fairly strapping mid-aged guy (not overweight, medium build) to now being so guarded and carful with my activities. This has taken a serious toll on my confidence and mind.  Now the pills are part of my normal existence.  I never depended on anything like that before - so I hear what you are saying.
Helpful - 0
172023 tn?1334672284
Watch the amount of acetamenophen in the pills.  You should never take more than 4000 mg a day, 2000 mg if you have any liver issues.  Do not take alcoholic beverages if you are taking products containing acetomenophen, either.  

Also, be aware that the expected course of taking narcotics long term is tolerance.  You will eventually need higher and higher doses to get the same pain relieving effects.  Take as many drug holidays as you can tolerate to try to avoid this for as long as possible.  Look into other methods to use to try to combate pain, such as biofeedback or antidepressants.  Sometimes combining many methods can help greatly.  
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Avatar universal
Hey...It's not that I found a solution to the well being...I just knew it wasn't a real feeling, it was from the bottle of pills, that when empty lead to a feeling of complete panic!!!  Too much of a rollercoaster for me, too much $$ spent, too much smothered emotion, too much pain to my husband and children! THey and I deserve more!  I just knew in my heart that I had to stop this insanity and deal with the pain.  The physical pain I have is pretty bad some days but nothing like the emotional and mental  anguish I have caused my family and  myself!  I have to be present to them in reality and not in a fantasy world that I only get from the drugs! Deep down inside I knew that feeling of well being would be replaced with shame and disappointment in myself. I don't know if you can relate to that, I can only tell my own story. Hope it helps.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thanks for clarifying that I was wondering the same for myself.  I take pain killers daily for my physical pain that are documented and ligit.  I have been on them for two years.  I wish i'd never looked at the evil things.  When I get low and run out I buy them off the street, so clarify for me am I mentally addicted and physically addicted???? of course physically addicted, but what about mentally?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I had a herniated disk in my upper back, about 6 years ago. It was sheer misery for about 1 year. I could hardly stand the pain. Could not stop the pain in any postion,standing, sitting, laying down. It was unbearable. I was scheduled for surgery and was really happy about that. So glad that the pain could end. I was taking 20 plus advil per day. My co-workers were not for surgery. They sent me to an accupuncturist. I had no faith in accupuncture whatsoever but I gave it a try. It took about 3 months to feel an improvement. After about 6 months of 3 treatments per week,the pain was gone. I have been fine since.What made me a beleiver is that after I was pain free, I went for an adjustment. When the doc put the needles in my head,I felt electricity go down the nerve and a snapping feeling right where the herniated disk was.I know this can be expensive if your medical coverage doesn't pay. But think how much addiction costs. Also to be pain free is soo worth it. I wonder if accupuncture can treat addiction??? I took my children to this wonderful doctor for other things, broncitis, rashes etc. he had wonderful herbal remedies that acually worked. I swear. Like I said I could not beleive it if I didn't go through this. There is something major to be said for alternative medicine. I do strongly reccomend that you research the accupuncturist that you choose,make sure he or she is highly recommended. You don't want a QUAK.
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Avatar universal
thank you.  the other thing is at times, I up the dosage, when I need it.  I also try to lay off for a day or two when I can.  My other question and worry is - at what point am I going to need more to do the job.  Thus getting more heavily addicted.  This worries me very much.  My schedule and tasks are already somewhat centered around my usage.  I wind up taking about 3 10/325s on a daily basis.  That is an average day for me.  Sometimes less, sometimes a pill extra.  I shutter to think of it going beyond this but fear that it might be my fate.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
If you are in pain you need them....even those of us that are in pain get addicted. This is why you go to the drs. when you no longer need them and you still take them thats when the problems start. So when you don't need them tell the dr and they will help you to get off.
Helpful - 0
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