What about Fedexing it to yourself.

I can tell you that I needed pretty much every drug I ever took and needed to at least try every failed scheme I ever devised in order to get to the point where I could get into sustained recovery.  It was very difficult for me to truly accept the notion that I was POWERLESS over my addiction.

So I don't look back on all my failed efforts as having been a waste of time or even so ill conceived.  Rather, I view them as being necessary steps toward the true jumping off point.  As it says in How it Works, "the result was nil until we let go absolutely."  That's kind of a scary thought - let go 99.9% and the result is still nill.  But it's also a comforting thought - let go just a tiny bit more and the result is there.

In Chapter 3 of the Big Book there is a nice bit about all the failed methods that the Founders tried.  Although it's written about just alcohol, I find it equally applicable to the struggle to beat addiction to any substance:

"Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums we could increase the list ad infinitum."

The fact that these methods were even tried may seem silly to use later, when we see that they were simply the wrong wrench applied to the wrong nut, so to speak.  But the fact that we already tried them is actually a help and comfort in Recovery.  They remind me of how the disease is so cunning, baffling and powerful -.

I may have been correct about the chances of success for the strong box plan, but I think I was quite wrong to voice that opinion.  Just as I needed, and had a right, to work my methods to the failing point, you needed, and had a right, to do the same thing.  The problem is that not everyone gets to the place where they can see that the method-of-the-moment won't work. They die before they get there - people really die from this disease all the time.  I have been to funerals of people who were killed as a direct result of addiction despite the fact that they very much wanted, and were right on the cusp of, Recovery.  That really sucks.  

I won't go on forever about this, but I want you to know that I have thought about our Strong Box exchange a fair amount since it happened.  I promise you that my intentions were good.  To the extent I laughed, it was truly in the laughing-with-you spirit - which happens a lot in the Rooms as we share the seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time stories that we all have in abundance.  What I failed to consider, however, is that those stories are shared and laughed about long after the fact, by and between people who are a fair distance from the desperate days that seemed to call for desperate measures.  I completely failed to consider the fact that things that I can look back at and laugh about now, were not at all funny at the time - but I implicitly called on you to take such a leap.

So, I apologize to you again.  More importantly, I congratulate you on what to me seems like a big step in the right direction - your post just left me with the strong feeling that this is a very good thing.  To me this story is NOT about the Strong Box idea not working, but about your seeing that "you will always find an excuse" to use.  Just trust me on this one, your coming to see that is huge and wonderful.  Being powerless means that no amount of willpower will ever work - willpower is the wrong wrench for the nut of addiction.  

Take care

Another way that it seems to me that my comments were wrong is that they were just unfair.  I truly didn't intend them to be unkind or hurtful.  But I see that I completely failed to honor the fact of our very different perspectives

I didn't see that I had left that bit at the bottom - I hate it when that happens!