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Avatar universal

day 9 c/t and i SCREWED UP!!

today is day 9 c/t from 16 norco10/325 for about 2 years.  BUT<  last night the RLS was killing me, and I feel like i am literally a walking zombie, so I broke and took a 1/2 a pill.  

good news is that i slept for 5 hours (11 to 4)

does anyone know if i have to start the w/d all over again, or do you think i'll be ok??

i HATE that i took it, but seriously if i didn't get some sleep i was going to crack!!  

any thoughts??
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Avatar universal
I'd like to say I have the answer, but I guess you might have to wait and see, so let us know what happens.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You will probably not start the w/d process ALL over again, but your only dragging this out and hurting yourself.  I mean, if you were on day 9 the w/d symptoms were almost over.

I see a lot of posts on here about making it so long, then slipping.  Making it so long, then giving in.

Does anyone else here see a pattern? (A pattern that is very normal if your truely an addict)

If your an addict like me, there is a mental obsession that that drives your thoughts into using "one more time" - and most of the time you don't even realize it. Obsession (to use)- a thought or idea that is more powerful than any other thought or idea.  It doesn't respond to reason. (And if your an addict, its always a lie)

Why on earth would we keep putting ourself through this over and over again allowing the drug to control us?  We keep trying any method we can think of to stop, all the while hurting the people around us who love us.  It is true insanity.

I can only speak for myself, and what worked for me.  Their very well might be other ways of getting clean and staying clean, but I know my way is working for me so thats the way I strongly recommend.  

So - how do you remove the mental obession to use that lies to you and tells you things like: "one more, just to get through the day" "one more to get some sleep" "I'll quit, just not today" "everyone else just doesn't understand" the list goes on and on.....?

Find someone who has found the solution and ask.  When you decide to ask for help, you have to be - Open, Honest, and WILLING

Ask for help from someone you believe has been where you are and found a way out.  Someone who is living in the solution and wants to share their experience, strength, and hope. Someone who has something you want!

God Bless





Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
you are right...  i know it :(

i am kidding myself...

thanks for the words of wisdom!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Slow down here folks -

First, NO, 1/2 a pill is NOT going to start your w/d all over again.
But you seriously have to find another way to get sleep and deal with RLS and sleeplessness. There are medications specifically for RLS by the way.

But PLEASE - can folks STOP equating a slip with FAILURE?  PLEASE?

Tapering down can work.  One slip doesn't make you a failure.

YOU ARE NOT BACK TO SQUARE 0

I tapered quickly from 5-8 10's a day and 9 days later I stopped completely. I'm only on day 2, who knows, but I've read a LOT about tapering (other sites are less preachy about c/t than here) and it is certainly a viable option that many have used to come clean IN THEIR OWN WAY AT THEIR OWN PACE!!!

What works for cforster may or MAY NOT work for you - and what works for me, may or may NOT work for you.  Pick you own way.

I do not and have NEVER suggested that tapering (and my techniques) are best for EVERYONE.  I don't speak in absolutes.

But every time I see someone posting such VERY DISCOURAGING remarks, I feel it my duty to post a contrasting viewpoint.  

With respect - I'm begging that people PLEASE stop telling people they're failures if they can't go c/t or if they slip or want to taper.  That doesn't really help them does it?

Peace
/D
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Remember that it's just your opinion that a "slip" after 9 days is not a failure. Not everyone agrees with you, and this is probably the one thing that I absolutely disagree with you on.

Once you are quit, you can't ever go back, because

"Administration of a drug to an addict will cause reestablishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance."


Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
look, i've been fighting this battle for 5yrs, but refuse to lose the war.
your 1st mistake is being hard on yourself for taking 1/2 a pill. your only setting yourself up for failure

WOW-9 days c/t from what you were taking, i praise your strength to get that far. i'm tapering from 10-15 lorcet 10mg for the last 5yrs., i do suffer w/ chronic pain, but i really only need a pain pill when i'm in pain. a month rx should last me 3-4 months not a week like it has been.

so what, you took a 1/2 a pill???? you slpipped, we ALL slip, but dont let yourself fall. we are all different and have different methods that work for us.

WHAT IS THE BOTTOM LiNE HERE??? we are all trying to overcome an addiction, and it shouldnt matter how we do it, just that we do. it may tkae some longer than others. some choose the suboxone path (i dont feel its right for me) but has been absolutely the right choice for others like, skyfoxglitter and Addictlovers. some go c/t and never take a pill again (these ppl are far and few between. i'm very proud of the progree you've made, dont get down on yourself over 1/2 a pill, we all have "triggers" that bring the abuse on, negative feelings about yourself is a major Trigger for most of us. i wish i couls spend more time here, but my girls are here from FL and they are my #1 priority for the next 12 days

always remember to take "BABY STEPS"

luv ya,
tink
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I know it's only his opinion, and I respect it and accept that he should continue posting it.  

I'm just asking that we try to curb the absolutism, and not be so negative towards others who aren't following the same path.

Let me put it another way:  I'm finally clean, granted not for very long, but I am 100% clean for 2 days now.  I tapered for 9.

Last week I came here, broke my c/t with 1/2 a pill, and felt like the worlds biggest LOSER - a FAILURE - and was very ready to just GIVE IN and go back to the old ways.  

Because all I saw here was that c/t was THE SOLUTION, and if you didn't do it then you never would.  

And yet, here I am.

Because I read Tink and others who taper with success.  Albeit slower, but it worked.  

9 days ago even when I broke my c/t with 1/2 a pill, I did NOT GET HIGH.
I took halves to keep the w/d from overcoming me - and so I could work.
I used my techniques, and here I am on the other side.

But if I had listened to the posts talking about "THE SOLUTION" I would have given in because I knew I could not go c/t.  The absolutism and statement of fact that c/t is the only way, nearly cost me everything.  And I see MANY others here who are feeling like failures for the same reason.

Peace
/D
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I agree with Tink and DAnthrope, it may not be the best thing to do, to take a pill or even 1/2 a pill when you are trying so hard to quit, but I still think that you have to look at the overall picture and not think of it as failing. If you have made though C/T for many days and just once take 1/2 pill, it probably won't make a big difference, and it is an accomplishment anyway to keep away from the pills for any number of days - and an improvmenet. Don't beat yourself up about it and just move along.
Minnie
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey, I have said before that how you quit is not what matters. What matters is that, once you are quit, you have to stay quit.

I certainly have no intention of belittling ppl because they slipped. I know that a slip does not necessarily translate into a full-blown relapse. But, in my opinion, a slip after keeping your quit for 9 days is a failure. It means you are back on day 0!

The consequence of not becoming fanatical against a slip is too serious to just dismiss. It will be the loss of your quit. You have to be vigilant at all times, to keep reminding yourself that you are a recovering addict.

Over time there may be no signs of the addiction; thoughts of pills may have become rare events now and maybe even non-existent. But even at this stage of the game, there is a silent addiction still there that can take you down with full force for making one miscalculation -- thinking that maybe you are different.

You are an addict for life, but as long as you get the drug out of your system and never administer it again, you will never be set into the downward spiral that the drug sets into motion to its users.

Just my opinion, of course!
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Avatar universal
Thank you all for your comments.  I honestly don't know what I am thinking right now.  I do know that I don't want the last 9 days to be for nothing, and I desperately want to feel better.

I keep waiting for the "fog" to lift, and it just isn't.  I HOPE HOPE HOPE I haven't undone everything I have gone through for nothing.

I am only day 9, looking forward to 14 but it seems SOOOOO far away!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My opinion is that if your an addict - you have a two fold illness.  Obsession in your mind to use/Allergy in your body. This creates the cycle of addiction.  

Once your over the w/d portion of your problem (physical) the obsession to use(mental) is still there.  The obession (thought or idea that is more powerfull than any other thought or idea, and will not respond to reason) has to be removed.

Once a person is clean for an extended period of time and all the physical side effects are gone, why would they ever go back to getting high?  It just doesn't make since.  The obession is still there, thats why.  

As far as the allergy of the body.  Well, I belive that if your a true addict, you do have an alllergy.  Your body responds to this drug differently than most.  When you indroduce that chemical back into your body again after being clean, it kicks off a physical/mental reaction that others don't have because they don't have the allergy.  When they kicks off the obession to use gets more powerfull and you make then SAME bad decisions. Its pure insanity. (Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results)

So thus, if you remove the obession to use - takes lots of open, honest and willing effort - then you can live a normal life again.  Better life in my case.  This takes a power greater than yourself.  (After all, it was my best thinking that got me in the mess in the first place)

I went over all this and only skimmed the surface of what I belive to be fact.  

PLEASE don't let me push you into thinking that you failed if you are trying to taper or are trying another approach. I am very sure that there are other ways of getting clean.....All I can share is what is working for me.  10 months into this recovery thing, and still clean - AND still learning.  I have surrounded myself with others who are "doing the deal".  My life is so much more rewarding today.  

May God Bless each and every one of you.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey, you haven't undone 9 days of progress! Now you know you can do it again. The sleep will come.

The fact that you posted here is a big step. It will get better every day. You aren't going to go back to full-blown w/d and you know it.

Just please don't let this slip become a relapse. If you do, then you will start over again - and then someday you will have to go through the full he11 of w/d once again.

Hang in there!
Helpful - 0
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