My story on this Friday Night

Question

Pretty sure I am the only one on the forum tonight so I am going to keep posting questions and answering myself.

I am 46 and had back surgeries and suffer from chronic pain.  I have abused pain killers vic and soma for 8 years.  I know I have an addictive personality although it does not run in my family.  I started smoking pot when I was 13 and also abused coke for awhile (socially...like weekends, you know...but abuse for sure).  Now I have no marriage, I am an empty nester, and I own my own business.  I have been making very poor financial decisions as well as HEALTH choices.  

I am incredibly, still, in denial.  I feel like I will be the only person that can "manage" all this.  It won't be progressive for me, somehow I will be able to keep this continuous tap dance going.  Well, I am exhausted.  Always tired, always anxious, always depressed, self-loathing, pathetic and pitiful daily schedule (??right, daily schedule)...I could go on.  

It's Obvious I am not in a place as so many of you truly trying your hearts out.  You are my heros!!

creek · Answer

Can't sleep so I decided to get up and make a pot of coffee and get my day started.  WTF??  I think I am nuts, just having a hell of time ...in my mind...lots of racing and not being able to process it all.

So, GOOD MORNING TO YOU!!!!!

LadySundown · Answer

You need to apologize to yourself. You're none of the names you called yourself. This is an extremely stressful time here on the forum and it's taking it's toll on all of us. There doesn't have to be a certain time set that you will recover. All that's important is that you know you WILL recover.
Take Care...LS

addictedtoloratab · Answer

You are actually one of my heros.  You help me in many ways and your not the only one here on Friday night. Stay strong, huggs, G

My story on this Friday Night

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