Aa
my wife just told me.......
She said "your spending to much time PLAYING on the computer. how dare her, i had to stop and think about about that one. I guess she feels left out, but this has been my life line for the last 2 weeks. She has never been addicted to anything in her life, but does have some OCD,carpet and house stuff.She did say she would like to try some antis and something for sleep. does anyone have any advice for US. thanks Clay TX
My husband said the same thing, but I just kicked him in the leg:) He is addicted to sports, so I told him to shut up! But don't do that too:)
She just wants you too, maybe you should sign off for a bit and rub her shoulders or her feet, make her feel special for 20 mintues, and I PROMISE she will forgive all! We'll still be here!
She just wants you too, maybe you should sign off for a bit and rub her shoulders or her feet, make her feel special for 20 mintues, and I PROMISE she will forgive all! We'll still be here!
she cannot understand what you're going through, she just has to be patient & supportive, and understand you will be bawling one minute and mad as hell the next, and since she doesn't seem to know what to do to help you, show her what you're looking at on the computer, what is helping you, that way she won't think it's porn or something! LOL. good luck!
OMG...my boyfriend has that SAME EXACT COMPLAINT every single night when he gets home from work, LOL
he supports me 100% in my road to recovery, but doesnt get it when it comes to me and this forum. i've tried to include him, BUT....he's not an addict like us, so probably never will understand my need to be here ALL THE TIME... I wonder how many other spouses out there feel the same way???
we really should take a survey....
tink
he supports me 100% in my road to recovery, but doesnt get it when it comes to me and this forum. i've tried to include him, BUT....he's not an addict like us, so probably never will understand my need to be here ALL THE TIME... I wonder how many other spouses out there feel the same way???
we really should take a survey....
tink
we have a spiffy computer i built that is connected to the big-screen tv.
im the tech-geek in this here relationship.
mine just kind of sits next to me on the couch and appears engaged in his laptop & pretends not to be reading... altho i know he is, (very nosy).
but i don't really have anything to hide so it's ok.
no jealousy yet.
but i haven't become addicted to this place yet :)
im the tech-geek in this here relationship.
mine just kind of sits next to me on the couch and appears engaged in his laptop & pretends not to be reading... altho i know he is, (very nosy).
but i don't really have anything to hide so it's ok.
no jealousy yet.
but i haven't become addicted to this place yet :)
From my past experience with my wife when I have been in recovery from my other addictions, I have learned that those who are close us and don't suffer from addiction, don't ever truly understand why getting support from others with the same problem is necessary for us to stay in recovery. I know alot of people here have mixed feelings on 12 step programs, but they did teach me that people who live with addicts develop a type of co dependancy by suffering through what the addict they care for does. So sometimes they may need the support of people going through what they go through in putting up with an addict. My wife has never been too receiptive to that idea though. Just some food for thought.
My husband told me AGAIN today that I spend too much time here...he was really annoyed. I told him again about a movie (I posted this about a week ago). Did anyone see the movie "When a Man Loves a Woman" with Meg Ryan as an alcoholic and Andy Garcia her non-addicted husband. After she finally went to rehab and came home sober, Andy Garcia felt left out because A) he had no control and couldn't fix her addiction and B) she was turning to her friends from rehab to talk...Needless to say Andy Garcia felt left out and hurt and jealous! They split but got back together when he learned there was nothing he could to but support her and accept the fact that her addiction was not his fault and that she needed to be with her addict friends! Sorry so long, but I have to keep reminding my husband that I know he supports me but the demon is still there taunting me and I need all of you to remind me why I need and want to stay clean! You guys remain my lifeline!
I just came on the forum today. My husband is addciated to Hydrocodone and Vicodin. He had his first "episode" 2 years ago. His detox was not as severe as the one his is having now. But I do remember knowing that, then and now - his journey through detox requires that I be understanding and patient.
Watching him suffer and struggle to get control of his world is hard, but when he's going through his w/d it's not a time for me to think about me, or how I feel, it's time to help him. There will be time for me later. I think that it's selfish for a partner to not understand that concept ...the anger, the fear, the frustration, that's all normal to the non-addict partner. But the key to the addict partner's recovery is empathy and strength from the non-addict partner.
Watching him suffer and struggle to get control of his world is hard, but when he's going through his w/d it's not a time for me to think about me, or how I feel, it's time to help him. There will be time for me later. I think that it's selfish for a partner to not understand that concept ...the anger, the fear, the frustration, that's all normal to the non-addict partner. But the key to the addict partner's recovery is empathy and strength from the non-addict partner.
i think your husband is lucky to have your understanding and loves you for it :)
when people say in sickness and in health.. well, this falls under sickness.
when people say in sickness and in health.. well, this falls under sickness.
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