Thanks for the comments. I guess you can say today is day one. I got up late again today but thats because last night I went out. Later today I went and picked up my girlfriend and we stayed in and cleaned house, filled the fridge with food and now I got work to catch up on. Feels good I guess to get those things out of the way. My friend called me today and asked if I wanted to go over to his place and eat special brownies and play xbox, luckly I turned him down. I really don't know how long I will be able to hold out. I think the problem is that I have quite a bit of bud around the house, too much to just flush away. I'm so tempted to just get out the bong and take a few hits before I start my homework but I need to break this damn habit. Seems like I have 2 people inside me, one's telling me to stop wasting time and do my **** and the other is telling me to relax, life is great just chill out and enjoy the buzz. I can honestly say that reading your comments is extremely helpful, I felt so alone and thought I was the only one but your words really do help and I now know that I can get this done and get back to my old self(as cheezy as it sounds) I'm kind of scared to go back to school, I feel my teachers are gona be pissed seeing how I always miss school. Hopefully they will see how serious I am if not I'll just get a few fake medical excuses haha. I really wanted to open up to my gf today and tell her everything that I can say here but I just told her that I'm quiting bud and that I might be pretty stressed out and to expect it. Oh ya and good news, she's 100% not pregnant. Thanks for the support, might sound lame but you guys are the only people I can talk to about this **** for now. I'll check in again tomorrow.

Correct, but I guess you can average that out to 2 times a week depending.

what is your flavor of drug?how much a day? How long have you been using?

Weed and hash sometimes laced with other drugs. I usually smoke 7grams a day, and I've been smoking for at least 3-4 years but have only started to smoke a lot since last year.

laced with opium?

Sorry but I just thought I would give you guys as much info as possible. I'm scared to answer my phone sometimes, it's like I don't want to be botherd or I don't want to have to face my responsibilities. I would really just like to talk to people who have been there and done that and work my way through this so I can be drug free, then hopefully I can quit smoking too, I haven't used today, maybe that's cause I got up not to long ago but I can't get this **** off my mind and it seems with all the problems I don't want to deal with it's the only thing that makes sense... the only thing I know, the only option I have. I don't believe rehab is an option for me because of school. Anyway I'm thinking too much.

You really only have two choices.  One you can quit.  Two you dont quit.  You just have to make up your mind that what your doing is not effecting your life in a positive way and you want to change it.  Get rid of all the drugs in and around the house.  You may have to change your playmates also.  The no motivation is a sure sign of addiction.  I could not even remember what I enjoyed in life anymore. I had no hobbys, I wouldnt answer the phone either.  I cut out anyone who cared about me.  Depression, laziness, I just didnt want to do ANYTHING that took any effort at all.  Sometimes it took all I had just to get the energy to take a shower.  Sometimes I would go 2 or 3 days without one because it wasnt worth the trouble.  I was/am a lortab and m.j. addict.  I have chosen to give up both and am now on day 10 and it feels like it could be day 100 because it is so amazing what a difference I feel physically and mentally.  I still hurt a bit physically, back ache etc... but my emotional state is amazing.  I am seeing things in such a new clarity.  I can only now admit that I had become a stranger to myself.  I now not only have a new found energy but a desire to live and live well to the fullest.  Keep your chin up.  At least your young and seeing what is going on.  You can make this change now and have your whole full life ahead of you.

He's right, either you can quit or you can continue living the way you are, When I turned 18 I started smoking pot..next thing I knew I was a pothead. Smoked all the time all day every day. I wasn't in school I was working at the time and managed to hold my job. Then out of the blue, just like you I realized that I couldn't really concentrate like I wanted to. Then I decided I didn't want to smoke anymore. Now I have a different problem (painkillers) Some of my friends and family smoke and it's really not a big deal to me. They don't push it on me because with pot it's usually the (cool more for me) mentality. There are some people who can smoke pot every day and lead a good life...Im not one of em. I would suggest changing your group of friends if you want to quit because if it's always around and you really havn't made up your mind about quitting then chances are your gonna start smokin. I think in your case is the lifestyle change thats gonna be the hardest. Take care.

Meant to say She's right,,,sorry Rosey. No sleep last night.

If I keep this up and **** up at school I won't be able to return to that college and would have to transfer, no other college would want me with the shitty grades I have now so the only other option would be to move to the U.S and take the easy way out by moving in with my mom and I know she will put me in line. My family has a history of addiction problems, my dad was an alcoholic and a drug addict, it's funny cause my mom always warned me about how to watch out because I will have a very addictive personality but I was/am dumb and didn't believe her. This isn't the first day I realized I had a problem, I knew I had a problem when this started to interfere with my schooling. That's pretty much the only reason I want help. My using only brings negative effects towards my lazy habits and school. My relationships with friends haven't changed but it seems I have. I don't enjoy anything anymore and I don't know what to do. I can't talk about this with my girlfriend because I don't want to seem weak or tell her I need/want help. I'm not the kind of person to say I need help, I guess you can say I'm stubborn like that and the only friend I can relate to is just as bad as me if not worse. Everyone around me keeps on moving forward and all I do is get high and waste another day of my life doing nothing. Watching movies and playing videogames... 5 years from now how will that have made me a better person? Anyway my rant is done, I think I might have passed the 1600 Char limit. Any advice would be great.