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Avatar universal

addictedtolortabs

Hey, I saw your post to me about plateletboy and I didn't see what he said about Lady's dad til this morning...and yeah, that was wrong. ::SIGH::
I feel kinda bad cuz he was really trying to defend me, but at the same time, he shouldn't have said what he said. That was over the edge. But, like I said to him last night, I am the LAST person that needs someone to 'defend' her lol I do a pretty good job of holding my own.... :-P lol
But, I'm sorry he got booted cuz I think maybe he really did need help....God knows I do!
OH WELL.......
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Avatar universal
Hey, just wanted to formally introduce myself. I'm Scott, 30 yrs old, married 8 yrs, 3-yr-old twin boys, one in the oven, 22 days w/o morphine, still struggling but learning.

I was wondering - how are you doing? Are you planning your quit? If so, that's awesome. If not, I only ask that you consider starting on your plan. What are your thoughts on quitting? Do you plan a taper?

Anyway, sorry to bother. Have a great day!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I posted this to LadySundown last night...It kind of answers some of your questions...
SIGH...I don't know what the hell I'm doing right now, to be honest.
From Last Night:

OHHHH I did it cold turkey..almost 4 years ago when I found out I was pregnant with Lizzie. I stopped c/t and it was AWFUL.
I had chills, fever, night sweats, goosebumps, restless BODY, not just the legs, diahreah and it felt like firecrackers were going off in my belly, literally.
It lasted 3 days. At that time, I was taking oh, about 30 vikes a day, 5/500 and norcos and 7.5 too.
SO, in all...more like 30-40 a day.
Then all was well....and I had Lizzie. WELL...guess what they give for pain relief in the maternity ward? YUP! you guessed it. vicodin. Then, they sent the new mommy home with a script for 90 of them.
SO IT BEGAN AGAIN...and I haven't stopped since.
I even took them with my pregnancy I had after Lizzie..my OB actually prescribed them for me cuz of my back pain I had. I do have a legitimate back problem, but its not THAT bad as I make it seem.
But, the OB gave me the vikes and I didnt take as much with my last pregnancy, and I rationalized to myself: "Hey, the doc gives them to me so they are safe...." BUT I knew that I was taking them to get HIGH, not for pain.
I have been back on them now for 3 years and I make myself SICK that I did this again.
That dumb doctor last week really DID tell me that w/d are all in the mind but I remember that was bull.
And its THOSE memories that is keeping me from quitting...not to mention, I can't lie...I LIKE the way they make me feel, too ya know?
So YES I want to stop..but NO I don't...if that makes sense. I hope I dont get booted off again for saying that (please mods I am just being honest don't boot me again) but I'm making myself NUTS right now.
HOW is it possible to WANT to quit something and NOT want to at the same time?!
I'm looney tunes, aren't I.
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Avatar universal
So what you had a bad nite its all in the past.  Your part of the forum now.. I dont know if he did get booted I just saw a lot of the things he wrote were deleted.  Plus he said if he did get booted then he would come back with a 1 after his name (who knows, lol).  Anyhow, i wanted to let you know that I have about the same story as you.  I had taken the loratab at the end of my second daughters pregnancy, but, when I had my c-section, that was it.  I loved being in that hospital and pushing the button for the nurse every 4 hours to get my 2 pills.  I was in heaven.  Because a c-section really does hurt, but, after a few days, it can be controlled by ibuprophen.  But, addicts, like ourselves always have a high pain number to give them when they ask.  That is what got me started back as well.  Full blown when I got out of the hospital like a kangaroo, from doc, to doc... But, since I have been here I went from 15 to losing count and now I am at 2 for the next week and then I am going to drop again to one and then hopefully to none.. I am glad you came back,, Huggs, G
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Avatar universal
I do remember reading that post. I know a lot of people have posted their plan, method, and ultimately how they quit. I'd be glad to share some with you if you'd like (though I suspect you know most of the HOW part of it).

Are you looking for a proven method? Do you want to just try setting a quit date and working towards it?

It sounds like, based on what I've read, that you are not ready to quit mentally. That's ok too. If that's the case, is there anything I can do to help you get to the point where you are truly READY to quit? What's holding you back? Do you deal with pain? Is access to the pills too easy? Is cost not an issue for you? Are you waiting to "hit bottom"?

Again, sorry to bother. Just want to help if I can.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Its hard for me to quit for alot of reasons...(spoken like a TRUE addict, huh....lol)
First of all, I really DO have back problems and I have a doctor that gives me 240 vicodin a month.
So, I have SOME pain, but not really enough to have to be taking vikes.
My MRI showed that my back is REALLY messed up though. Funny how the MRI shows that yet I really don't have the physical pain that the MRI says I should have.
I usually go through the vikes in about 10 days, and then I have a friend that I get more from.
Mentally, is the problem. I have taken them for so long now, I don't know how to function w/out them. I look at normal people and I actually wonder HOW they go about their everyday lives without that nice fuzzy warm feeling...isn't that awful?
I mean, I'd say that 98% of the time I am buzzed when I am online. So its like, If I quit, what is being online gonna be like? SIGH....nevermind I don't even think what I am saying makes sense lol but it makes sense to me.
I quit once before...cold turkey....and it was sheer hell. But it only lasted 3 days physically. The mental part lasted a little longer.
I know I need to stop...and I guess I just don't know what is the BEST way for me to stop right now.
C/T? Taper? Set a date to quit?
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Avatar universal
Hey Jenny. Thanks for the reply.

Remember that people on here will give you lots of helpful advice about quitting. I don't know if there's a BEST method of quitting. I think maybe the method is less important than your mental readiness. In my opinion, the best things you can do to prepare mentally are to get a support system (this forum is a good start) and do some research. Ask for help, which could mean telling your doctor, friend, supplier, God, etc. that you want to quit and need help. Know what to expect from w/d so there's no surprises. Know what causes your craves and plan for ways around them.

I think it's great that you have made some friends at this forum. However, I feel that we should all remember that there is but one thing that connects us - we are drug addicts. There's a real stigma to that; real or imagined, it's there. I like to believe that recovering addicts will choose to ignore the stigma and use their experiences  to help others, to be a beacon.
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Avatar universal
My story is almost identical to yours as well. I had a lot of back pain the end of my pregnancy so the doc gave me tylenol #3. I thought just as you did- if he gave them to me then it must be alright? After I had baby I was given vic as well and pushed my little button every 3-4 hours for the nurse to bring me my little happy pills. My son was a VERY difficult baby and so I felt as if I could deal with the whole thing much better with them. So I too was sent home with a script and even though I did have some pain- it was almost more to help with the emotional stress and lack of sleep as well. Not to mention I felt like super mom with them- energetic, happy ect. (My full story is postd somewhere back around 3/3)
Since then it has been the same story as yours for 2 1/2 years off and on. I undrstand the wanting to/ not wanting to aspect of it completely. I think the best for would would be a taper plan if you have the discipline- if not you can always enlist the help of a trusted friend/ spouse, whoever to dispense them to you.
Just think of how much better it will be for you and your family in the long run. I know that I am still lucky I have a liver!! I know we both don't want our kids to grow up without a mommy. I'll be praying for you and read people's stories in here- they are so inspiring.
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Avatar universal
OMG, its funny how similiar our storys are all alike.  I suffer from true back problems too.   As many of us do here,  Thats the reason we get hooked in the first place.  But, I do remember I had a life without the pills.  I know I am enjoying my life now because I am not running around counting pills, worried if the doc is going to give me more pills cause my script was gone in 10 days as well.  Like I said, I am still not totally free, I am still taking two, but, for me thats a huge deal.  Thats why I was talking about the subuxone, Jenny.  You have 6 kids and the mental part is so exhausting its so hard when you really cant call in to the kids like you can with work....
Soprano,  I am glad to see you are doing ok, I have been wondering about you.  I posted you a while back to see if you were ok, you had mentioned depression and I was a little worried.. I am glad you mentioned that new product for the w/ds I cant wait to try it.. Huggs,G
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