Husband's Addiction... not sure what to do

Question

Hello everyone.  I was just given this site as a resource.  I'm hoping some of you can guide me.  My husband is addicted to prescription pain pills.  Tramadol, vicodin, oxycontin, percocet, pretty much whatever he can get his hands on.  His doctor was giving him endless refills of tramadol and now vicodin.  He gets oxy's from his 'friend' every single month.  His personality is so, so altered, I never know who's going to come home from work on any given day.  We have fought so much about this.  He says he doesn't have a problem.  Yet, he looks for this stuff daily.  During an average month, there are MAYBE 3-4 days tops that he doesn't have anything and I know those days for sure.  It's terrible.

I guess there is nothing I can do short of asking him to leave until he sobers up, but he doesn't think there's a problem.  Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Regards,
D~

Dickies_Wife · Answer

Thank you everyone who replied.  

Now I have another question.  We finally talked and he admitted his problem.  I was shocked.  He asked that I call his doctor and make an appt to see him but he wants me to go with him because he's so embarrassed.  He heard there are pills to help w/ WD's but he's afraid of being addicted to those too.

Can anyone offer any insight on these so called withdrawal pills???  I'm clueless.

Many thanks and to those recovering, good luck to you... I truly don't know what you are going thru, but it must be hard.  Stay strong.

D~

angel virtue · Answer

I know how hard this is.  I just went thought it a year ago.  I was sure there was a very serious problem.  We have  a child.  I asked if he wanted to stop he said yes, he broke and used again I asked him to leave.  He left for 3 weeks and came home straight.  He never used anything again.

This sounds harsh.  It took me away from other things that were important like my child.  like myself........If he didn't want to stop it would be different.  First he saw the problem and then he wanted to fix it.  He had to do that on his own.  The two of us arguing would solve nothing but hurtful words.

I hope this helpa, it really helped him and we are closer than we ever have been.  I was there for him until he stoppped being there for himself.  I could not be an enabler.

God bless
Angel:)

beachtowel · Answer

Welcome to the forum........

Sorry to hear of your dilemma but you must prepare yourself for a fight.
I think your first question should be is he worth fighting for?
If you have kids should you do everything you can to keep your family together?

Your husband is in complete denial a strong trait of someone addicted.
Its funny my Mom can tell me that exact day in my life when I started using only because my personality was altered. She didn't know at the time what caused the change but she sure was positive that something had changed.

I recently by someone here at the forum said to me "you are so brutally honest"

Addicts are the best liars in the world and I was one of the best. I think my recovery was based on that specific point of fact to tell the truth! 
It wasn't by my choice but it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

If you have any specific questions please feel free to ask me.
You might want to read my post from a previous post titled Legitamate question, it might help you to understand what your in for....

Good luck to you...........

oxysbliss · Answer

I dont really know what to say to you...other htan....grab hold of some of the women here..and do alot of reading...at least you will have some idea of how and why we as addicts got to be where we are...and maybe that can help......and where we are going..and how rough the road is......I cant sugar coat it for you...

He needs to get help...yes, but if he doesnt come to that himself..he wont reach out for it...So my advice to you is........grab some support  yourself...from wherever you can get it...and just take it from there...take it easy on yourself..this isnt an easy journey for the non addict....it can be just as emotional..Just know..there is support here..and many other places..and seek it out for yourself....Im sure in time he will come around...its just a matter of when I have no idea.......First thing is he has to admit his problem....but if he cant see it...he wont..and he might not right now.....but for you..you have to come to a place where you can be happy too...

Just know..there are people that are here ....Please keep coming....

CATUF · Answer

Is there any chance of getting him into rehab?  If so, that is likely your best bet.  Has he suffered any negative consequences yet from his use/addiction?  Often it takes a mountain of negatives before the addict can perceive any negative through the fog of denial that goes with addiction.  I know that I was almost dead and I still couldn't get past the notions that a) I was OK and b) that to the extent the was a MINOR problem, it was nobody's business, I was going to fix it myself and I wasn't hurting anyone.

You might want to talk to an intervention specialists, but I know that I wouldn't have gotten clean (and would, therefore, be dead) if I had been given anything but a Hobson's choice.  Once my wife found out my choices were a) go to rehab; or b) be banished from the house and kids.

Husband's Addiction... not sure what to do

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