What is he smoking?

it started w/ crack and now i believe its crystal meth. but i'm not sure. i dont do it and dont know much about it, but he is acting different now, staying up for days on end

If he stays up for days at a time, it's likely the crystal meth. Does he have any desire to quit? If not, then I would just leave.

wow...this hits close to home for me
i have a son that is addicted to meth...and one that is 17 months clean from a crack addiction
i agree with scott...sounds like meth to me
what i have learned...
love him
offer to help...if he wants to stop
DO NOT ENABLE HIM
tell him you support him...you support his recovery...not his addiction

meth is a horrible drug...and he has a long road ahead of him.  it took hold of my son and turned him into someone i didn't even know any more...someone i didn't even want to know.  he is currently in jail again and i have no direct contact with him...i have done all that i can...the rest is up to him.  i will always love him...but i can't let his addiction control my life any more

if you love him, truly love him...do not enable him...you can not love him clean.  he has to do this for himself or it will not work.

i wish you luck,
kim

i just read your post below...that you think you may be addicted to pain pills...taking more to numb yourself to be able to deal with him

you need to take care of yourself first and foremost!

good luck remember to take care of yourself he's a different person now .  thats one of the nastiness drugs around turns people into monsters and the brain damage.  there are 13year olds that can't tie theit shoe laces anymore because of that ****.  you could arrange some sort of intervention or get out of there and run like hell nothing but heartache I know its hard but you can't control what other do.  He has to want to be clean.

Oh, I missed your post below as well. Thanks Lizzie. Yes, the first thing you want to do is get clean yourself. If that means getting out of there first, then get out of there. Once you are comfortably in recovery, then you could try to intervene for his sake.

wow, you made me feel so much better. i dont feel so alone anymore. i've called my dr, this morning and he will see me this afternoon. i want to know what he thinks about my pill consumption, but i dont want to discuss my b/f issues with him. its kind of embaressing. we have 2 kids together so i cant just up and leave. it breaks my heart to see what he's doing to himself, but i feel i need to stay strong for all of us. i just feel so TIRED, like the world is on my shoulders.

you sound like you know what i'm going through. i just need support right now. my family is starting to wonder whats wrong w/ him, but i worry they wont understand. i feel blessed to have stumbled across this site.

thank you for your kind words

good for you...take care of yourself first...especially with having children...they don't need mom AND dad addicted.

just curious...how long do you think your b/f has been doing crack/meth?  is rehab an option for him?  meth is so so hard to get off of...he needs the most agressive treatment out there...it would be very surprising if he just quit on his own and never went back

be careful girl... his meth addiction will even destroy you...your children need you.  don't mean to scare you but if he doesn't get help soon you will have nothing left.  he will clean your bank account out...sell everything he owns (even the clothes off his back)...sell your jewelry...everything!  and when all of that is gone, he will start stealing from others.  think of yourself AND your children.  if moving back in with mom and dad is an option...til you see what he does with his life...do it...i promise...he will destroy you.

Well, actually you can leave. As Lizzie said, his addiction could hurt you in many ways. If he won't seek treatment, I would seriously consider leaving. You don't have to tell him you never wanna see him again, just tell him that he has to sort out this problem first, and that we will worry about tomorrow when it comes.

That's what I was guessing - crack or meth.

I did both.  I never thought I had a HUGE problem with meth - at least it didn't seem so at the time in relation to my other drugs.  I would have told you that I just used it to get through periods of no-hydrocodone.  However, there were too many time of staying up for 2, 3, 4 even 5 nights in a row while smoking meth.

However, when I picked up a crack stem all bets were off - it became my one and only drug of choice and I very quickly had to have it every day, and then all-day every day, REGARDLESS of the cost - with the monetary costs being HUGE, but still cheap when compared to the costs in terms of mental & physical health, relationships with others, reputation.    

Your bf is messing with very dangerous, all consuming drugs.  People tend to crash and burn a bit faster with crack, but I believe that meth is at least as bad in the long run - probably worse.  The addiction professionals I've worked with tell me that one of the "good" thing about coke (regardless of whether it's snorted, cooked & smoked, or dissolved & shot) is that if people who live through the experience can make a full recovery without brain damage.  The exception seems to be that cocaine delusions that were accepted as real why using seem to be always a part of the person's memory - i.e. even when sober years later the now-clean crack addict knows that the black choppers really were chasing him that one night, etc.

Meth, on the other hand, causes actual brain trama which becomes irreversible with prolonged use.  Check out the 10-year progression of a meth using lady that was documented by the Vancouver Police - it's amazing she goes from a reasonably attractive 31 year old woman to a nasty, depraved looking hag at 41: http://www.ci.vancouver.wa.us/police/meth/timelineofmethuser.asp

Go to Google and type in [meth brain] (w/o the brackets).

If I had a lady friend with a bf on crack or meth, who was broke and miserable, I would advise her to hit the road ASAP unless she was in a position to "force" him into detox/rehab (i.e. go or I'm outta here).  It sounds like you gave him at least a 'stop or I'll leave' ultimatum  without effect.  

From my own experience with these drugs and opiates, I would tell you that someone in active addiction is not truly in any kind of relationship with anyone except their self and their drug.

no, i cant go home. i have a very judgemental mom. i've been on my own since i was 16. he thinks he has control. he goes to work everyday and has a good job. but i just know its a matter of time before they see the change if they havent already. he's convinced theres nothing wrong, hes in control. he cant see that the drugs have control not him. i can see it. when he has nothing hes cranky and mean, do you have withdrawals from these drugs??? you said your sons have gone through this, if he wont do rehab and at this point i highly doubt it, what should i expect if i confront him?

what you can expect?   DENIAL...DENIAL...DENIAL!

about w/d's...i can only speak on what i have witnessed...CATUF may be able to add some insight

after the high wears off...and this can last for days...he will crash and burn...
sleep...alot of it but very restless...alot of thrashing...talking in his sleep incoherently...irritability...followed by what i call "food binge"

unlike what i have seen from the ppl here with opiate wd's...his w/d's were short in comparison...a few days and he comes out smiling...that is until the next use!

i would definitely approach the subject of rehab and explain to him how his drug use...or addiction...is affecting your whole family...not just him