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Avatar universal

Me again, what I learned in YOUR absence

I know, it was my absence, but I want to share what I felt.  I will be honest, it was a rude awakening to find out how dependent I am on this computer.  Always have a backup.  Learned that the hard way...I do have a computer guy and he does tell me what the proper code of conduct is for a pc owner.  I just don't listen...like a lot of things in my life.  It will never happen to me, right?  

I really missed having this forum, and some days I realized it is a crutch.   Oddly enough I was being encouraged to break free and "let go" and move on before my computer crashed.  As if I was "stuck" here, in life, in work, in love....when the computer crashed I HAD TO LET GO OF THE ROPE, and it was enlightening.  I do spend way too much time discussing my problems and getting support from you.  I was forced to get off my ass and make decisions for myself.  Instead of hopping on the forum for all the love and acceptance I could ever ask for, I had to gather the courage to support and love myself.  

Think about it, what would you do if you didn't have a phone, tv, radio, or computer for awhile.  There was a silence in my world, but it was kinda scary...as the days went on, I became more comfortable...reaching out to my dog, cats, books, walks in the park, coffee shop, work.

So, being cut off from a platform (FORUM) to share my fears, I had to face them on my own.

Next...(I told you I had a week to go on about)  I will tell you about how it also felt to know you all were in the struggle and I could not tell you how much I care and couldn't listen to you.  That hurt...chapter three will be accountability.  I had no one to lie or tell the truth to.. Just little old me, on my merry rollercoaster of being a freakin junkie.
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Avatar universal
Girl...
You AMAZE ME.....
Ya know..sometimes your posts were so sad before...and you strived so hard to find that somethign happy......and when you HAD TO....reach inside and find it...YOU HAVE...it maybe so small and may mean nothing right now..or perhaps it does...either way...ITS AN AMAZING ACCOMPLISHMENT.....

im so proud of yougirl, I really am......
Im quite lucky...I have my walks, I have my bush around me, I have my cat, I have my dog...so I consider myself quite blessed...but you did it....and you found somethng that is irreplaceable..

Im so happy you shared it....Thank you!!
Thats Encouragement
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Avatar universal
Wow, great post. I think maybe we do have to be alone and face our demons. I am so happy to see you're back!!
Always,
M

ps. you have come a long way baby :0)
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