sosad, singha, desertgirl, peete, other newbees, friends

Question

I have  been reading your posts and wanted to say WELCOME to the forum and tell you about myself.  I have been posting about 4 months and in that time I have tried tapering and cold turkey...as of today....I am a failure.  I get pretty down on myself and like to have my own little pity party of one.

Your posts are inspirational and supportive...that is what this place is all about.  Just knowing I am not alone in my fear of what will be after this addiction (that is my problem///just can't accept the fact that I could possibly live without pills) and knowing other people are in the same fight is comforting.  I also think I have the ability to BELIEVE someday this WILL happen for me.  Before I came to the forum I didn't see the SUCCESS side of this hell.  I didn't believe people came out of this and are happier and healthier and SMILE and LIVE life.

When you listen to the struggles and success of so many here it makes you realize you CAN do it with a little help from your friends.  Hope I can be a friend when you need one.

Peace~

singha · Answer

YOU ARE NOT ALONE

creek · Answer

Oh, hey I just posted you below. under...ummmmm can't remember...just a few thread down.
  Read and we'll talk.  I am so  glad your energy is here on the forum.  I think we have some things in common.

desertgirl · Answer

Thanks for the encouragement as well. I have read your posts and can understand what you are going thru. I had my own pity party for a whole year. But I do have one question for you, what exactly are you afraid of?

addictedtoloratab · Answer

we always seem to be on the same page girl,  I feel like a failure today too.  
Looking back we are always on the pity pot together.. We are not failures, just addicts..  Peace to your heart girl

sosad5306 · Answer

Thanks for that post!
That is why for now, I have always failed too.  I just cannot fathom living without pills.  How in the world will I get up and do anything?  How will I ever be happy or feel good, really good again?  Is there life after pills?
Being here and seeing successful people has helped give me hope that yes, you can actually be even happier without.  I still don't see how that is possible but eventually, I am going to find out.  At least I hope I will.

singha · Answer

I am a 35 year old mother of 3children from first marriage and 1 from my fiance now. I am getting remarried in February and I have decided that I need to turn my life around now and not waste another minute. I am tapering off an 11 year addiction to Ultrm since Sunday. I find tapering extremely difficult because not only do you have to go through the wd's but you have to be in control of your own pills. NOONE has ever known of this nor will everknow. I will take it to my grave. I never meant to but I always looked down at my parents for being alcoholics even though they have been in recovery 25 years. I don't want to be looked down upon by my children or anyone for that matter. I am sure most of you understand where I am coming from and that is why I love this forum and have found it so easy to come right out and say it. I never called myself this until Sunday " I AM AN ADDICT"

creek · Answer

can't believe you said you will take it to your grave.  That is my theory too.  I think if you stick around you will learn that logic may be flawed.  No judgement from me, and I certainly am not ready to shout it from the mountain top, but honesty is MY BIGGEST issue and it may be the one to hold me back from healing.  As someone posted above...what exactly are we afraid of...the truth???  And when it hits the light and isn't a secret, a guilt, a pain, any longer...then what???  Will the sky fall?  (I'm pretty sure it will).

I also admitted for the first time four months ago on this forum I AM AN ADDICT.  I was crying my eyes out.

Peace~

Bulldog81 · Answer

If I had the enrgy 2 write...u would find we have a lot in common.  I can't even see strait right now!!  A little f@#$% pill controls what I do evryday!!How? Why?   Why me?  There is so much I need to say...but yet I can't......................

sosad, singha, desertgirl, peete, other newbees, friends

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