i just wan to die!

Question

as many of you know, my son had his biopsy today.  it wasn't cancer...much worse.  my son christian, 29 years old, has full blown aids.  i guess my worse nightmare has come true...i always knew that i would have to bury him but i thought it would be from a drug overdose.  never in my wildest dreams did i think it would be from aids.  i don't know how i'm going to make it through this...i love this child so ******* much...and don't think i can go this.
for all of you who have prayed for my family, i want to thank you from the depths of my soul...please don't stop now.  i hate that it wasn't found when he just had the virus becaue he could have lived maybe another 20 years or so...but things don't look good at this point.
i love you all,
kim (grieving my heart out)...how do you bury your own child?  i am a complete basket case and don't know if i can take this.  i have had so much heartache in my life but this is one that i don't think i can make it through.

Marce4 · Answer

I am so very sorry at this news!!! My heart is aching for you and I wish I was there to just sit with you!  My hand is holding yours and my prayers will keep coming!  

Do you have a strong belief in God or a higher power?  If so, uses that faith because now more than ever you will need that strength.  How did your son take the news?  Is her comfortable?  What can we do to help you now?  My email is ***@****! Please....if you want to talk...I'm here!

Marcie

oxynomore · Answer

I sorry to hear that and I will pray for you and your family. You need to be strong for your son which is easier said then done, but I know he will need you. Please stay on this board to get all the support you need while you give hime the support he needs. We are all pulling for you. I hope things will get better in your life this forum has helped me so much as have your post. I wish you the best and wish I could only help you.

Sincerely 
Josh

H3Girl · Answer

That is just horrible news. I know how much you love your son, I have two of my own and I can't imagine my life without either of them. I don't know what to say except I'm so sorry and do your best to stay strong for you son. No words can be enough to ease your pain.

DannyDanko420 · Answer

believe me u can. i dont anything about it but i went to a funeral for my friend two days ago who had overdosed, either way its gonna be hard but just think about wat your son would want you to do. my friend was only 19 and i kno it must be hard to bury your own son but his parents were so strong i couldnt believe it. its the hardest thing for me to deal with right now but i kno he would want me to be as strong as possible. i will pray for your family and i will pray for you to be strong thru this. take care


Danny

Mariyah2 · Answer

I am so sorry to hear about your son. I will keep praying for Christian and you/family. Please know that I am here for you and if I can do anything just ask. There are so many new drugs for aids and I am praying that they can help your son. I know you feel like you want to die....you have to be strong for your son. Can you see him everyday?? Is there anyway he can be released from prison? Please find some support group that deals with AIDS. I am just so sad for you and wish I could do something to help you. You have been through so much and life just isn't fair. 
Praying for you,
Mariyah

sosad5306 · Answer

I am just so so sorry and sadened for you and your family.  I know there are no words that can ease your pain and heartache but please know that I will thinking about you and praying for a lot.  I will put you on our prayer list at church as well.  If there is any way I can help you please let me know..my email is ***@****.
Is there any way he could be released from prison?  I just heard something the other day about inmates with terminal illnesses being put on house arrest and being released from prison.  
Again, I am so so so sorry...

LIZZIE LOU · Answer

they are letting hin out of jail today...his brother is already there calling the judge to speed things up.  they are only fourteen months apart and just like twins.  my greatest fear is that he will take his life over this...don't think he will make it.
his poor girlfriend is only 18 years old...they have been togeher for about a year so i'm sure she has it too.  and even sadder than that...the meth makes him "sex crazy" and i'm sure there has been at lest 25-30 girls he hsa been with also.  
for those of you who have children...we know that we love them all the same...but there is usually one that has a "special" place in your heart...and this is him.  i can't do this!

LIZZIE LOU · Answer

his older brother is at the jail taking care of that...they will release him since he is only there on failing his "****" test while he was on probation.  they have called the judge and he should be released within a few hours.  i know that since he has full blown aids that he want live very long, compared to the ones who get started on meds when they have the virus only.
this child will not be able to take it though...i believe in my heart of hearts that he will blow his brains out...he will not be able to handle the shame and guilt about all the girls he hs infected.  strange thing is...he does not shoot drugs up so apparently he got it from someone else.  but who...there have been so many

Mariyah2 · Answer

You can do this....you have to. I am so happy he will be out today and back home with you. I know your heart is aching so bad right now and it will take awhile for the news to sink in. You have proved how strong you are in the weeks you have been posting. Please draw on that strength and don't look ahead. You have to take one day at a time and treasure the moments with your son. I was told in therapy that I "lived life looking into a crystal ball" and the things I worried about in the future were just making me more depressed. It turns out that the things I feared never came true and it caused me stress. Throw away your crystal ball and live one day at a time. Please know that so many are praying for you. Please take care of yourself too and know I am here for you.
Sending a big hug to you......Mariyah

demon child · Answer

its such a sad situation.u brought tears to my eyes.my heart goes out to u and ur family.he needs u and sober more then anything now.be strong.just cherish the time u have together.im so sorry

1911 · Answer

I am truly sorry for your son's HIV/AIDS diagnosis.  You must be totally devastated with such unexpected news.  

Please...let me pass along some fatherly/grandfatherly advice. 

You will now need to educate your family and friends about the illness as well as being a resource to your son.   I recommend that you immediately begin searching the internet and your community for resources...to help your son...as well as your family. 

Everything that you can learn will be a help.  Find out about the disease, how it is managed, and what treatments are available.  Learn and teach your son how to relate to his physician.   You can become the family "Health Educator" in this.  That is an important and critical role.

There is hope.  They have many good therapies and new treatments, called clinical trials, are in the pipeline.   

Putting drugs behind you is now a BIG and IMPORTANT contribution to your son's future well being.  Please let us in the Forum help you with that. 

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

GEORGE

addictedtoloratab · Answer

OMG, Mommie, I am so sorry.  I dont even know what to say.  Remember, I told you the other day that god only gives us what we can handle.  Well, you can do this, you can make the rest of his life the best he has ever had.  The good part is that they are letting him come home so he can be with you.  I wish I was right there with you, but, I am just a email a way.  You know my email.  Write me when you get the strength and we are here for your support.  I love you girl, I am so sorry, but, he is here now, live it to his fullest.. xoxo, Georgia

ScottQuit021907 · Answer

Oh man, I am heartbroken about this. Please take George's advice and learn as much as you can about this. Knowing what to expect may help. I just said a prayer for you and your family.

Lizzyloowho? · Answer

Kim,

I am so very sorry! Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. 

Liz

rooftrash · Answer

Hello Lizzie.
 I know how you feel.and i am so sorry for the news you heard.I told you about my son.Bryan.I watched him for 2 or more years die.i was and still am in denial.I will never EVER!be the same.He BRYAN was my rock .I have watched my wife mourn his death.I can not feel what she feels because he came from her body.I do know i love him still and i know he is here with me by my side as i am typing this post.{i feel him}The thing i want you to know is whatever happens you can always talk to me or my wife if you need someone to talk to.I don't want to sound bleak.but you have to prepare for the worst and Pray for the best.My  best to you.and God Bless You.***@****

i just wan to die!

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