Thank you for the encouragement.  Day 3 c/t oxy/hydro feels awfully hopeless.  When did u start to feel better mentally...and how?

I'm glad to hear that.  Just keep doing things..spending quality time with your boys. Hopefully it will just keep getting better!  My b/f's day 4 c/t off diff. things including methadone and he just got a job (not a great job, but a job none the less).  My mother keeps telling me to keep thinking positively and positive things will start happening.  I don't know if it's true, but it doesn't hurt to try

THERE you are! You had me so worried...I posted back to you yesterday, now its on page 2. Your post yesterday sounded so full of despair, my heart just went out to you. I am so glad you hung in there and didn't call to get any pills. BUT, like i said in my post to you yesterday, even if you DID get pills, hey, we all slip up so I didn't want you to feel so bad that you didn't come back here to post again. But hey, you hung in there is what it looks like and you should be sooooo proud of yourself! I am so proud of you!
It will get better....trust me. I remember when I was in your shoes...it was awful but the feeling of freeeeeedom you are going to have soon is 100 times better than any high the pills give you.
Think about it, you won't have to worry what scam you can pull at the ER to get more pills, no more trying to find a way to lie to your doctor to get more pills, no more spending bill money on pills......
Its an awesome feeling just NOT worrying about PILLS 24/7!!!!!!!!!!
You're doing great.....just remember, take deep breaths when the anxiety starts and KNOW you are stronger than that! You have more strength than even you know.
The days will get better....and the w/d are starting to pass.....and your new LIFE has already begun!!!!!!!!!!
^5 to ya!  ;)

jen

let go.you have to set yourself free.3days is just the beginning but its the best start.do any of us want to go through this hell again?i know i dont.getting away from the house and living instead of being miserable.we put ourselves here and its up to us alone to win this battle.u need to know in ur heart that its for u first.then it will all fall into place.i feel alive for the first time in 4 yrs.ur going to do this theres no going back now.just a couple more days.im proof.

Thank you.  That does help.  I am drinking too much and thinking too much.  basically, I drink myslef into a haze and sleep for a few hours.  REgret it and do it all over again b/c I hate this.  Because i am not strong and I don't have anyone close to me that gets it.

Sosad....I almost think the mental is harder than the physical symptoms. I used to wake up in the AM and dry knowing I had to try and get through another day without my "Friends" (who needs enemies right?!)  Life is  not always a state of well being and euphoria...we were manufacturing our moods and feelings....they were not real and we need to keep reminding ourselves of that!  When I slipped on Thur and took the Percs I felt good very superficially and for a VERY short time, but in my mind I knew it wasn't real and the guilt took over that feeling of well being. I felt like **** after I slipped...not only did I deceive myself, but I also deceived my family, my best friend, her mother (I stole the other 10 percs from her)!  I really find so much more joy in my life when I am straight. I can look people in the eye and know that I can deal with life on a "normal" human beings terms without copping out and leaning on the pills for a FALSE sense of security! That feeling wears off and then we are left with shame!  

The depression will improve with time....we have done so much damage to our bodies and our psyche that we have to give it time to heal and learn to deal with life on life's terms!  We are all strong and good people that have a problem!  We need to lean on each other for the support and encouragement to stay clean! It's ok if we slip but we need to realize that we can't throw up our hands in defeat and go back to our old ways...we need to always be aware and vigilant to maintain our recovery because it will always be a fight and detox is only the first step!  Let's keep fighting to win! I know you guys want this as much as I do!
Peace,
Marcie