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Where do I find help for my 30-year old daughter who has minor children?
I just found out that my 30-year old daughter is on Cocaine and Crack and is also an alcoholic. Currently, she is in denial and does not believe she has a problem. Her uncle and her boyfriend are trying to force the issue, and make her get help - she is saying she has no intention of getting help on their terms - she will get help when she feels she is ready for it.
She has 2 children living with her - ages 14 and 13, she called me yesterday (Apr 1) to come and get them because "people" do not feel she is capable of taking care of them. It is a 4-hour drive each way for me, so I do not see as much of her and the grandchildren as I would like, however, she lives next door to her grandmother. At this time, my mother (age 80) is taking care of the two children so that they can finish the school year without having to change schools so late in the year. This is not an ideal situation given her age and the fact that she is recovering from pneumonia.
1. What are my options at this point?
2. How can I get her the help she obviously needs. (When I arrived yesterday, she was curled in a ball on her bed, with the door locked, she would not answer to anyone and once I got the door open, would not talk to me or look at me.)
Thanks for the advice and help.
She has 2 children living with her - ages 14 and 13, she called me yesterday (Apr 1) to come and get them because "people" do not feel she is capable of taking care of them. It is a 4-hour drive each way for me, so I do not see as much of her and the grandchildren as I would like, however, she lives next door to her grandmother. At this time, my mother (age 80) is taking care of the two children so that they can finish the school year without having to change schools so late in the year. This is not an ideal situation given her age and the fact that she is recovering from pneumonia.
1. What are my options at this point?
2. How can I get her the help she obviously needs. (When I arrived yesterday, she was curled in a ball on her bed, with the door locked, she would not answer to anyone and once I got the door open, would not talk to me or look at me.)
Thanks for the advice and help.
Are you looking to get her admitted to a rehab or detox??
If so many factors come into play..
Does she have insurance??
If so does her insurance pay for rehab??
If she doesn't, can someone pay for treatment?
Are their county programs avaliable in your area for treatment?
Thats kinda where we need to start to find a place. I worked in an impatient facility doing intakes and group for 3-4 years..
If so many factors come into play..
Does she have insurance??
If so does her insurance pay for rehab??
If she doesn't, can someone pay for treatment?
Are their county programs avaliable in your area for treatment?
Thats kinda where we need to start to find a place. I worked in an impatient facility doing intakes and group for 3-4 years..
I smoked crack for 2 years.. I had VERY minor physical withdraws if any, crack cocaine has more mental withdraws comming off of it. The olny way I got away from it is to GET AWAY FROM IT. I moved, changed my phone number and stoped any communication with anyone who does it or can get it. Crack cocaine will make you do things you could NEVER imagine doing. Its been 2 years since I've done any. SOOOOO glad I got away.
She really needs help, she can not just stop it. It will require a whole lifestyle change
She really needs help, she can not just stop it. It will require a whole lifestyle change
Also for more info on addiction and getting a loved one treatment check out the a&e website and look for the show intervention they have loads of info there.. as well as hbo.com they just did a 14 part series on addiction and treatment.
If she's smoking crack, she has a BIG problem. The stuff is incredibly destructive and very difficult to stay away from. I've now been clean for 664 days from a crack habit that almost killed me and did destroy much of my life as I knew it before I got sucked into active addiction.
I am a big fan of intervention and forced treatment. Many people will tell you that you must wait until the addict "wants to stop" or until "they are ready." I can tell you that if my wife had listened to them, I would be dead now. Her response to family and friends that gave such advice was that I was simply not capable of deciding what I wanted or needed.
She was right. I had a vague notion that I *should* want to quit, but I absolutely didn't - all I wanted was MORE CRACK. I had a vague notion that I *should* want to see/take care of my kids, but I just didn't - I wanted MORE CRACK. I had a vague notion that at least I should feel bad about not wanting to quit and opting for crack over my kids, but I didn't - the ONLY thing I cared about was MORE CRACK.
I had to be pulled away from all that and kept in a safe place for some time before I was in any condition to understand what was going on, what I had been doing to myself and my family and what I wanted. For me it took 4 full months of rehab.
Whatever you do, do not underestimate the power of crack and (at this point anyway) do not trust the addict farther than you can throw her. Underneath it all she may be a great person, mother, daughter, etc., but right now she is in the grip of an addiction that has absolute control of her, which will do just about anything to keep control.
I am a big fan of intervention and forced treatment. Many people will tell you that you must wait until the addict "wants to stop" or until "they are ready." I can tell you that if my wife had listened to them, I would be dead now. Her response to family and friends that gave such advice was that I was simply not capable of deciding what I wanted or needed.
She was right. I had a vague notion that I *should* want to quit, but I absolutely didn't - all I wanted was MORE CRACK. I had a vague notion that I *should* want to see/take care of my kids, but I just didn't - I wanted MORE CRACK. I had a vague notion that at least I should feel bad about not wanting to quit and opting for crack over my kids, but I didn't - the ONLY thing I cared about was MORE CRACK.
I had to be pulled away from all that and kept in a safe place for some time before I was in any condition to understand what was going on, what I had been doing to myself and my family and what I wanted. For me it took 4 full months of rehab.
Whatever you do, do not underestimate the power of crack and (at this point anyway) do not trust the addict farther than you can throw her. Underneath it all she may be a great person, mother, daughter, etc., but right now she is in the grip of an addiction that has absolute control of her, which will do just about anything to keep control.
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