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I don't know what to do?

My SO has been a heavy pot user now for many years, we've been together for 3 years.  I have been asking him to quit now since my dd was born 2 years ago.  He hasn't had anything to smoke since Monday, it's now Wednesday.  He keeps asking me if he can go get some and I just tell him do whatever you want, but he really knows that means no.  He's been treating me like we're not even a couple anymore, he's been sleeping on the couch and I've been sleeping in the bed.  He tells me to shut-up in front of our daughter and well I just don't know how to deal with it.  I try to do stuff to keep him busy after work but he never wants to do anything so he sits in the chair and thinks about smoking his dope.
What can i do to help him?

PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!
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Avatar universal
its never just about one thing maybe there is underlying issues and the pot is the scape goat.  my husband and I smike pot and would like to quit but its a  addiction like everything else some people get useless when the smoke my hubby works everyday and plays with our boys and we are not smoking it constantly I quess his ot smoking is really interferring with you quys life maybe go half way with him to start and put a little limit ie no smoking around the kid in the morning etc.  good luck if you don't partake it must be hard on you but there sure his worse thing out there but it sounds like it really affecting your life.  
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Avatar universal
Yes my dd is his, but it just feels like she's only mine cuz i'm the one that has taken care of her 24./7 since the day she was born. He'd much rather sit on the couch and be stoned then go do something with our daughter and it's really starting to affect her cuz now it seems like she wants nothing to do with him when it comes time to spending time with him.  When I pick her up from daycare everyday I ask her, "You want to go home and see daddy."  and nine times out of ten she says, "NO," because she knows he doesn't spend anytime with her. The reason why i'm asking him to quit he because he spends almost 500 a month on it and we don't have the money.  I'm in school full time right now and he only workes in the summer.  So it's really hard to see how much he spends on his pot when we have no food in our fridge.  If he smoked it occassionally I would not have a problem but when he smokes a little he just wants more and more.  He has quit before for 3 weeks and I was stupid and let him start buying 10 bucks here and there and he got right back into buying 500 a month.  
So this is the reason why i want him to quit. I'm not going to school to find a good job and support him and his bad habits.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
why do you care if he smokes pot, as long as it's not around your daughter? in my opinion (and that of the medical community), marijuana is a relatively benign substance. i would much rather have someone smoke some pot than drink alcohol.

as far as him telling you to shut up, sleeping on the couch, etc. maybe he is resentful that you are 'forcing' him to do something he doesn't want to do. i'm not saying he's right to do that, but giving you some reasons why he is behaving this way. he has been using pot since before he met you and now you've come along to make him stop?

what are your reasons for wanting him to quit? has marijuana somehow affected his/your life, relationship, work, etc., in a negative way?

if he does try to stop 'for you', then give the guy some credit. it's only been two days. according to some smart guy 'it takes 21 days to make/break a habit'. if you want to help him, let him know that you understand that he is doing this for you, for his family, how much you appreciate it, and that you know how hard it is for him. maybe give him some extra 'lovin'. ; )

btw, telling someone that they can't do something just makes them want to do it more. maybe there is a compromise in there somewhere. marijuana is not a 'hard drug' like heroin/opiates/coke/meth. it is even less dangerous than alcohol. do you allow him to drink? probably.

be well.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I agree with ethereal1. What has changed in the three years you  have been togather besides the child? It sounds like he was a tooker when you hooked up and you are trying to change him. Is the child his becouse you say since MY dd was born 2 years ago, not OUR dd. You both need to talk about what you want out of your relationship.
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Avatar universal
hey there.  have you guys looked into any type of counseling?  He might have deeper issues which makes him want to smoke up every day.  If he's behaving this way when you ask him to quit for his family, maybe he does need some psychological help.  Good luck with it all, and feel free to ask any other questions!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
you can do anything you need too, call the cops, do you want
to have your child around that type of stuff...
I would give him an option, stop it our get out....
leave and dont come back,  if he truly loves you he will stop,
if not he will leave, and your all better off....

i know it sounds harsh, but the truth always will....

Helpful - 0
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