Thank you for your words of encouragement - it is early but day 1 is here ;)

I know - having a refill away is bad - I am going to talk to my Dr. and make sure she gives me no more.  That is the hard part - I don't want her to look down on me.  But - I have to do it!

You are great and thank you so much for helping me out!!!!

I am going to do laundry now to keep my mind off of everything, will be back later.

You are all so great!  Thank you so much for the advice.  I now know that I have to tell my Dr. (can someone else call her? LOL)  I feel better now and will have a new day tomorrow.  I think I will go out of the house and do some food shopping for Easter - hey, I just thought of it, pretty good time to be honest and quit this nasty addiction.

phony - I will take you up on that and we will get through this together :)  I promise I will be stronger and help you like you helped me...

Kmom - throw out those pills and I will tell my Dr. - let's make a pact :)

Oxy - thank you for being there for me - that other post really helped, thank you!!!

BJ - thanks for the hugs, you made me smile :)

sosad - I am writing to you under your last post right now.

Mariyah - that was great advice and thank you for telling me what happened in the past with you.  You always have such great advice for everyone and are one very special person.

O.K. flushed away :)  That was soooo hard but I did it thanks to all of you!!!!

Dont look at it as another mess up but a just a new day to start over.  I know how u feel - tried to quit for years and was only fooling myself.  Those lortabs were and still are my best friends but I was forced into doing right and just hope I can continue "one day at a time"  Just come up with a new plan... I will not even talk in groups or meetings but this forum has helped me more than they even know.  I would just read and read and read before I even thought about posting a comment.  It really helped me to c that I am not crazy or such a screw up but honestly have a problem and there are people all around who care, share and feel just liike me.  If there is anything I can do to help please let me know.  I am fairly new and a baby to all of this tapering, starting over, etc but we can work it together if u like.

hugs!!

Dont kick yourself just get right back on track--

easier said than done-- especially being as I am not there yet--

At least youre not me, my parents (I'm 24) called my doc while I was there and made me rip up my script in the parking lot!  Day 7  The doc wrote it anyway b/c he said basically, it is my business...ha! not any more!

I did the same thing my last c/t about 6 weeks ago. I wished I had kept on going. I am on day 5 now and it isn't pleasant. You have to just get back on the horse and flush those pills. I would be honest with my doctor and maybe he can give you something for withdrawal. I don't know your whole story, please forgive me if I might have missed out on some of your postings. I never took 8 at one time, wow. I took 4-10's every four hours when I was abusing. You will always find support here and there are many who have fallen. The most important advice I can give you is "Take back your life" and you will feel better. I know when I went a week, I felt so much better. This was when I was still working and only took 4 at night. I ran out and thought I was getting the flu. I didn't even realize it was withdrawal, LOL. I used start feeling chills around 4:00 in the afternoon and couldn't wait to get home for my pills. I made mistakes in my job and didn't even realize it was the pills. I can kiss my bonus goodbye this year and hopefully remain employed. I was in denial and can say now that I am an addict. I know I will always be an addict and hopefully I can stay on track.

Sending warm wishes your way,
Mariyah

What great comments everyone! I love some of the phrases of encouragement. Thanks!!!

Thank you!!!!  I am day 7 and am going crazy knowing that there are 2 pills out in my car (my little game of testing the bad me versus the good me) and, of course, that I can go to my doctor any time to refill my prescription.  You've already figured it out.  Admit, accept, forgive yourself, and renew your resolve.  I want to tell you to tell your doctor, but here I am keeping everything secret!  Okay, one step at a time.  Just flush them.  Take care, K

OMG honey, everyone goes through that.  Don't beat yourself up over it!!  You're human.  And everything e1 just said is what I would say so I won't repeat all of that.  Just listen to what e1 just said.  We are human!!  It takes a long time to get over this mess.  But it is a phase and we will all get over it in all our own ways.  We are here for you and that in itself has gotten me this far!!  Luvs to you, Lil. :)

Hey Girl - I am glad you are here and thank you so much!  I know that you speak from your heart and I really appreciate it.  I am going to start a new day tomorrow and get through this.  Hey it was 8 years with my little friends, I guess I can't expect to stop just like that.  One good thing - I don't have to see my in-laws anytime soon so that should help me LOL.

Lotsa love to you :)

Anytime sweetie!!  You are someone special!!!  Don't forget that.  I think that alot of our addictions come from not really loving ourselves too much.  I for one have a big problem with that and always have.  Top of it all, quiting and starting because you think you are weak makes you think you are even more unlovable to yourself.  Well I can tell all of you that I think you are all great!!  I'm so glad I found this forum.  You all have a good nite and you're all in my prayers tonight.  I'm going to go write in my journal for a while.  Luvs ya lots, Lil.

Thinking of you and sending good energy your way.  You are being honest. And you know you are not alone.  Baby steps... you may fall down, but you have shown you will get back up.  You are not going to let this ruin it for you.  I am so proud of you.  Good Luck.  You are in my prayers.

Peace~

Thank you so much for those kind words - the only way I am going to beat this is by being here with you great people and by changing my life - going for walks, church, reading, shopping (my hubby will kill me) whenever I have a weak moment.  Wishing you the best and thank you once again.

be proud that you had the strength to make it 6 days in the first place. and know that you can do it again.

this isn't my first struggle with pills, I was hooked on vicodin about 2 years ago and tramadol last year, and each time I only quit because they cut me off for requesting refills too often. I've never had the strength to quit when a refill is a phone call away. the fact that you made it 6 days, and that you flushed the 22 you had left, is phenomenal.

you are a very strong woman, and I know you will succeed.

Go down and read Weaklink7's post..
Some of that might be of help to you, I havent seen much of your posts...So welcome and its awesome your here trying to fight your demons...There are so many here..that are just amazing....Its great to see that growing....