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Avatar universal

I am a Junkie

I am a faiure.  I could not taper and I also got more so the "taper" pills wouldn't disappear, and then I DID all of them (carloads) in a few days time.  It will never change.

Today I have no pills, no self confidence, no feeling other than discomfort.   Emotionally..it's all guilt.

Chills, diare-re, sleepnessness.  Oh the thrill of day one.

I am a drug addict...I AM A JUNKIE

But I know I want to be free.


Peace~  I feel weak.  I will check later.  Keep fighting for YOU and for me.
11 Responses
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Avatar universal
We are all human, and we all fumble.  Hang in there and you will make it through this.  One day at a time, one minute at a time if necessary.  Treat yourself very good today and give yourself a pat on the back for even getting to day one.  Best of luck to you.
Peete
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I missed u creek.  I know exactly how you feel and I know we don't like to hear alot of "stuff" when we are going through but I will pray for you.  Been there and only the grace of God will keep me from going back.  You are not a failure and God is a God of another chance not second chance so....  I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it go away for all of us but I can't so i will just pray and if you want/need to talk plz do..we can help each other.  Tapering did not help me b/c for some reason I cannot do anything in moderation
Helpful - 0
182493 tn?1348052915
You can get through day one... you have done it before... I am here if you need me..  here as in on the internet.. after that last comment I don't know if I will be "here'" anymore...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You know we are always here for you!!!! This is now up to you and we are here to help support you! You've done it before so you know what to expect...not good but at least not unknown!  C'mon Creek....make this your time!
Peace and strength!
Marcie
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It's sooooo difficult I know. You are a strong person you will be this be strong...stand up and reclaim your life. I know you can do it, so keep your chin up and don't be ashamed.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It's okay, don't be too hard on yourself.  I have done that exact same thing over and over agian.  I would try to cut down and then tell myself that I want to get high, what is the point, I will go through w/d later, might as well enjoy this, etc.  And then I end up hating myself for it.  
We are addicts but we are human too!  I will be thinking about you!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I haven't been here long, but you have answered me and made it better.  I hope I can do the same.  You remember the cripple in the Bible who wanted to bath in the healing waters, but couldn't get that far.  People kept on getting in front of him and he was stuck.  Jesus came to him and healed him.  Remember. Go as far as you can humanly go and God will meet you there to take you the rest of the way.  Promise. He is carrying me right now too.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm so sorry you're having a bad time but don't give up.  It takes alot of falling down and gettin back up to beat this.  We are all human, and we all makes mistakes and I do mean ALL.  So you relapsed, get up dust your knees off and get back on the horse so to speak.  You can do this.  You've gotten this far, and you should be proud of yourself.  Most people don't even know they have a problem, so you've already taken a BIG STEP.  I'm here for you, and you're in my prayers, Lil :)
Helpful - 0
186166 tn?1385259382
junkie...smunkie...we still luv ya!

it's like i told you before...you'll get there girl...in your own time...in your own way.  you've got the desire so it's just a matter of time.

huggs,
kim
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
lmaoooo @ junkie smunkie... i thought that was too cute lol.  cya later, Lil. :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I see you as I see me.  All the thoughts that you think....I think.  I feel I shouldn't be on this site because I want to quit but keep getting more pills so I don't run out.  I am so afraid of being without.  I know I want to quit but I certainly am not spending money on detox if i am not ready.  When I am good and ready I will.  So does that mean I shouldn't share my kind words?  No...it just means that I am FUBAR and when am I ever going to see the light.  I know that makes no sense but it does to me...................................
Helpful - 0
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